Starting Over
by Lady Logos
Summary: Everything starts in Nibelheim.. Will it also end there? Starting Over again and again.. Isn t the punishment ever going to stop? Do we have to be here after everything? CloudxSephiroth, YAOI, ON HIATUS - BEING REWRITTEN
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi all. Here you have a new version of Starting Over. I wasn´t happy with the original, so this is the result. I hope that you like this one better. Enjoy.**

** Starting Over**

** Chapter 1**

** Different**

_A Perfect Circle - Pet_

_"Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window _

_Go back to sleep _

_Lay your head down child _

_I won't let the boogeyman come _

_Counting bodies like sheep _

_To the rhythm of the war drums _

_Pay no mind to the rabble _

_Pay no mind to the rabble _

_Head down, go to sleep _

_To the rhythm of the war drums."_

In the little town of Nibelheim, where snowy mountains cascaded to the sky, screaming in defiance, never however quite reaching said skies a hero and a WEAPON of the planet was born. He was born again, from the remnants of his past life. This is a story about chances to fix what is wrong in Gaia and to survive in the world that is not quite how you think. This is a story about a man.. A man with many powers, all earned with suffering, as the best Heroes are always those who are the most relentless to do these things.

xxx

Nibelheim.. Home to few hundred people. Although they all had something in common. They had a rank. A rank that was enforced by occupation. In towns like Nibelheim, people who lived there were mostly the lowest of the rank, as what can you do to boost your rank in a little town or village? Nothing.

IN Nibelheim lived Cloud. Cloud was a strange boy, even he himself acknowledged this. He had always known that there was something special about in him, but could not quite figure out what. It was strange, like how the unused mako reactor called him, like the old abandoned Shin-Ra mansion seemed familiar and the smell of hospitals, disinfects and medical supplies made him shudder, how a sword felt like it belonged to his hand..

Until Cloud´s 13 birthday, he didn´t know the reason why.. Then the memories came, and so came the knowledge of those lives. He had lived two lives before this. And both of these lives had ended not so well.. He had realized a little too late, what everything meant.

At his first life he had went to Midgar, to be a SOLDIER, one of the elite. Not that he had any chance as it found out. Nope. He had befriended with Zack.. And Reno. Then came the horrid Nibelheim mission, and Sephiroth had gone completely mental. He had tried to his best ability to save everything, but nope.. That just wasn´t meant to be.

Then came his years with Hojo. Those were the reasons for his shudders when near of anything related to medical supplies. Cloud hated him and what he did to him and Zack and Sephiroth. Then they had escaped, the Turks tried to help, but Zack had died.. Leaving Cloud with his dreams and legacy.

Then few years.. Believing he was Zack or Sephiroth.. Even at times Angeal. All the pretending and lies.. But he had not known. Then finally Tifa had helped him to regain his memories. He had seen Aerith.. And suddenly everything was better.

AVALANCHE feared fine and everything went well.. Until Reno had dropped the plate that is.

Then they fought against Sephiroth.. Again. Then came the Geostigma... And finally they defeated Sephiroth and the triplets.. Again.

After that the world was just too damaged to continue anymore. And so Cloud had died.. Only to live his life again.

xxx

On his second attempt to life.. Everything was different. He lived in the Shin-Ra mansion with Rufus, who in this life was his step-brother. Cloud was tested with Sephiroth in the labs all the time; they had gone to the war of Wutai and came back as the winners.

Cloud and Sephiroth had been promoted, Sephiroth as The General, and Cloud as his second in command. The tests continued.. Courtesy of Hojo. This time it was Cloud who went mental. Everything just went wrong. When Sephiroth had defeated him again and again it finally ended. Although now he was living again.

He just hoped that this time everything would go better than before..

Would Sephiroth, Vincent, Reno, Zack and the rest remember him? Would they even be here in this world? Was it always he or Sephiroth that went evil or mad? The others had Jenova and Genesis cells as well.. SO why neither of them ever went mad? Was it some flaw in Hojo´s research? This time he would do everything better - Cloud sweared.

**A/N: So here´s the prologue to this.. I hope that you like and that you will R&R. Thanks :) Sorry about the short chapters. **

**O.B.: Damn, all that work in the 1****st**** go round… Oh well! That happens. Not complaining.**


	2. Chapter 1 OLD

**Hi all! So here is chapter 1 to you :D I want to thank you my very skilled beta: Original-Botticella, for doing wonderful job with my story. And then I also want to thank all of you people who indeed did R&R: tails doll curse, Angelus and Original-Botticella. Thanks to you all :D**

**Now on with the story!**

**1. Different**

_A Perfect Circle - Pet_

_"Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window _

_Go back to sleep _

_Lay your head down child _

_I won't let the boogeyman come _

_Counting bodies like sheep _

_To the rhythm of the war drums _

_Pay no mind to the rabble _

_Pay no mind to the rabble _

_Head down, go to sleep _

_To the rhythm of the war drums."_

I was 13 years old. Me and my mom lived in Nibelheim. In a little house, end of the village, near the old Shin-Ra Mansion and Mako Reactor. Most of the time I was alone. My mom didn't mind. She was proud of me. I was doing good in school and I did my chores with care. The only thing she was sad was because of me also. I was bullied all the time. By parents and their children. I don't know why they did what they did. I think I was just too different from them.

I had blond spiky hair, sky blue eyes, I was thin and little. I was quiet, not like others. I tried so hard to fit with the rest of them at first. It resolved even more bullying. They never wanted me there. So after all they had done to make me go and be alone, I stopped trying. I didn´t hate them. I was just empty. At first, I remember I displayed my feelings, but then, I just gave them away. When I left home to go to school, I put my mask on. An empty mask. At first, I remember playing alone. But after some time it became boring and childish. I wasn't an adult at any point. I was naive and young. I thought: _What if I was alone and a good boy like they wanted?__—__would others would accept me?_ But no, that wasn't it. Whatever I did, I was never accepted.

_"Pay no mind what other voices say _

_They don't care about you, like I do, like I do _

_Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils, _

_See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do. _

_Just stay with me, safe and ignorant, _

_Go back to sleep _

_Go back to sleep"_

I was coming from school like every normal day. There was this little alleyway between school and bar. I went through there to go home and I came there to come to school. But today was different. I didn't know how or why. It just was. My senses said to me that I should not go to the alleyway, but I dismissed my instincts, thinking that I was just too paranoid for my own good. I noticed too late… My mind was wrong and my senses were right.

"Well, well, Isn't it little Strife in here. How nice for you to drop by." A boy named Jack Ebony said smirking.

"What do you want?" I asked in frightened voice.

_I'm scared as hell, but they don´t need to know._ I thought. That thought was lost hope. They always knew. I started to shiver; I knew what would come next. The beating, lies, mental pain. It was always the same. It had came to a routine. First I went to school, they bullied me in there, made pranks and talked shit about me. Then after it they beat me. Then I went home and treated my self. Then I went to grocery shopping for my mother and they´d be there to steal my money. Then back to home and sleep and repeat.

My father was SOLDIER and my mother was apparently as old Shin-Ra secretary.. My father had left us and my mother had came here. It was a mistake. My mother never told anything about my father. Every time I had asked she had just cried. I knew my father was a SOLDIER because I had read my mothers diary. Even in there she never mentioned my father's name. Only that he was in SOLDIER and that he had wanted to give me a different name than Cloud. I didn't know what name he had wanted. She never told me.

"We want just to play with you. Want to play war? The same as your father did Cloud. Yeah let's play war. You are an assassin and we are SOLDIERs... ATTACK!" Jack shouted. He had said the sentence mockingly. He knew I didn´t play at all. Never had after I had turned 9 years old. It was funny actually. I sort of had the skill to beat maybe one of them. But when they were in groups I couldn´t do anything. I was powerless.

I didn't have time to prepare. The hits started to come everywhere at once. I curled in the ground as small as I could and tried to protect my head with my hands but it was hopeless. _Please someone, anyone help me!_

"What's happening here?" The teacher asked angrily. Thought I didn't hear it. The teacher was a "lovely" lady with red hair and all most white skin and too piercing eyes. She was strict but hated me as well as anyone else did.

"We are just playing war, Miss." Millice answered. Millice was just an average boy. Though he was mean and ugly but else… Just the same as rest of them. Basic hight, basic weight a nobody. People would not have remembered him if he would have make him self to be remebered

"Oh! If that is indeed the case, then continue." Teacher said and leaved. The teacher hated me. And whatever the law said it didn't say anything about playing. As long as it was interpreted as 'playing,' I could suffer by any means and she would not interrupt. And I dispaced her because of that. It was really mean of them to do these things. The Major of the town – Mr. Lockheart was playing with me and my mom. I was D4 by my class. Tifa the Majors daughter was C2 and Millice was D1 as well as John was C3. It was the class in here. I didn´t know my moms class. It was like too well guarded secret. I never had even asked it.

The beating continued until I was only a piece of blood, broken bones and dislocated limbs. The boys left and I stayed at the ground. The pain was everywhere. I thought that if you had suffered this at least once a week for 5 years you would be use to it. But no. That wasn't the case in this. I knew that the beatings would continue as long as I stayed here. I had decided long ago that when I was old enough I would leave this place and never come back. The law said that we would be adults at age of 16. And we could drink alcohol from the age of 12.

Slowly I stood up. The pain was intense in my dislocated joints. Which were my shoulder and ankle. My nose was broken and I knew it. I had learned after couple beatings how to fix myself. I took hold of my left arm placed it to its rightful place. It hurt, tears came to my eyes. But in few minutes the pain substituted. This had never happened before. Normally I suffered at least a few weeks of pain and agony. But not this time. As I watched the swelling in my shoulder slowly dissipated. The swelling just disappeared slowly and the pain went away. I was thrilled. The pain was almost gone! Only my broken bones, which were few of my fingers, my nose, and my ankle ached. In a swift motion I fixed my nose. It hurt like hell. I didn't yell but the pain was intense. I pulled my ankle at its rightful place; still in agony about my nose. My cuts and bruises were already fading. I was becoming sleepy, so I just simply decided that I would sleep right there. Slowly my eyes closed and I drifted to mako induced sleep…

xxx

When the sleep left me,my first thought was where I was at. I was back in the alleyway. When I wondered how I had come here the memories of beating came back to me. _What was that healing thing? Wait a sec… I don't feel any pain! _I quickly examined myself. Everything was just fine. I was little bit hungry and that was all. I quickly headed back home. On my way there I met the same boys who had beaten me just hours ago. They looked at me once and came to me. I wasn't scared anymore. Somehow I knew now that they couldn't hurt me anymore. Finally I knew how I was different. I could heal in moments. At that time I didn't know how that was possible and I didn't care. I was glad.

"What the hell Strife? We beat you in to the ground and now you are like nothing happened. Why do you act like you are some kind of _god_? You are _not_! We _are_! And we _love_ to make your life as hell-like as possible. And you _can't_ escape that! That's for sure." Jack said to me.

"Why should I _care_ about you and your hell? For your information I'm _not_ scared and I have had _enough_ of this." I shouted back.

"Oh! Is _that_ so? I don't believe this. The Little Strife brat has grown a backbone! We know that you are not allright; you are not that good actor after all! We have broken your bones, given you a few dislocated limbs and bruises and cuts. So _don't_ fake! Or do you want that we _beat_ you all over _again_?" Jack boasted.

"First of all. I'm _not_ fucking acting anything! I'm just fine physically! Secondly… You can't hurt me _anymore_! So fuck _off_!" I shouted. I knew that I would be alright. They couldn't hurt me. Well they could hurt me.. But I would just heal and that was it.

"So you are alright? How so? I don't believe it." John said and took a basic military knife to his hand from his pocket.

"So now let's see how so you heal that fast. Even SOLDIERs don't heal in two hours from broken bones. _Except_ General Sephiroth! But Sephiroth is different. I heard that he was made in laboratory… Maybe you and your dear general have something common…" John said again with smirk on his face.

_Not good… Not good. I'm so going to die. _I started shaking again as John and his gang came closer.

"Hold him!" John ordered others. They all took action. This time though I had time to prepare. I remember watching Tifa and others training at school. I took their basic fighting stand which I had trained secretly in my room. The boys no more looked, so sure that they could win.

"Go, go! Do you _fear_ so much of the little Strife kid? He's nothing! He's not in Martial Arts class, because Lockheart told him not to!" John shouted. The other boys quickly tried to take hold on me, but I kicked one to the abdomen and hit second to the solaris. I fought back with all I had, but it wasn't enough. They got a hold on me. John came to me as his gang members hold me in place. I gazed him hatefully.

"Told you so. Now let's see your amazing healing skills. I don't believe you. And I don't think anyone else believes you as well." John said. He holds the knife inches away from my left eyebrow. Suddenly he sliced my brow in half. I didn't scream. It hurt like hell, but like before the pain was gone in few minutes. All the boys around me gasped in wonder and after that in fear.

"What a hell was that?! You are as weird as we _always_ thought. Go away Strife. Go!" John yelled at me. I just looked him coldly.

"You've beat me every week over five years and after that you told me to fuck off?!" A mad, crazed look came to my eyes, "Oh no… _That_ is just absurd. You _pick_ on me, you _bullied_ me and now because I'm different you _fear_ me?! What do _you_ expect? That I suddenly grow _wings_? Or that I become some crazy _monster_? Fuck you John! Why don't you go home and cry to your mom how little Strife boy who you have beaten and bullied the whole fucking time is a _monster_? Oh but I forgot.. You don´t have a mom. Pity you." I said to him angrily. They all looked like they were going to faint of fear or if I had suddenly become a madman. I didn't know that my eyes were glowing mako green at that point. I suddenly freed myself and started walking home.

"Yo-your eyes.." One of the boys said fearfully. I didn't understand what they meant. On my right side was a tiny bit of water. I looked my self at the water surface. My eyes were mako green. _What the..? _I started to get scared. _What's happening to my body? How is this possible? _I started to panic. Quickly I rose from the ground and started running home.

"Mom, Mom!" I shouted panicking.

"Yes dear? Is everything alright?" She asked from me. She was on the kitchen, making dinner to us. Her cookings were fabulous. I loved them.

"Look at my _eyes_! Look! They are all _green_. I was coming from school, when John and his gang beat me down!—and then all my wounds just healed!—and then they came again and suddenly I was angry at them and then my eyes started to _glow_!" I explained in a panicked frenzy to her. All my life she had explained everything to me. I never cried in her presence, but when I was scared or in hold of strong emotion I could let that show around her. To everybody else I was the emotionless one, the freak, the nobody, but around her I could relax and be myself.

Suddenly she just stopped hugging me and took a look. She looked at my eyes where mako still let it self show. She just stared me few moments before she covered her mouth and run sobbing to the bathroom.

"Mom!" I shouted. I was worried. She had never _ever_ reacted that way to anything that happened or what she had seen or I had told. But now.. Somehow I knew that everything was going to be a lot different than before. Suddenly I felt betrayed. I run to my room and began crying in to my pillow. I understood it now. No one would ever accept me without me proving my self to everyone. Not even my own mother. It had been a shell all that time. I was a eulogy of my father. Every time she looked at me she only saw my father, not me, never me. At that moment I decided that I would become a SOLDIER and proof my worth to everybody.

I, once again, built my mental walls. Now that I knew some of my abilities, I should start to develop them. I didn't know how, but at least I should gather some physical strength for starters. If I never wanted to get to the SOLDIER I should train as much I could. With infinite care, I drifted slowly to sleep.

_"Lay your head down child _

_I won't let the boogeyman come _

_Count the bodies like sheep _

_To the rhythm of the war drums _

_Pay no mind to the rabble _

_Pay no mind to the rabble _

_Head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums "_

When I woke up in the morning there wasn't the familiar smell of breakfast and coffee. I didn't mind it at first. I went to the bathroom to take a shower. I stripped myself and looked in the mirror. _What a.. ? _I had developed, in one night, a basic musculature, well I had had a basic musculature all the time, but now I was more ridged. Not too much. Nobody should be able to tell the difference about my body than myself. I looked myself. _My eyes!_ They were still glowing. But only lightly. No one without a trained eye should be able to see the glow. I watched my body few more minutes and stretched my new found muscles. I felt pride in them. It gave me a sense of manhood and manliness that the other boys didn't have yet. When my pride replenished, I started showering.

I put the water in mild heat and relaxed for a few minutes. I started washing my hair. It never stilled, not even in shower. After that I scuffed myself with washcloth and soap. I dried myself and dressed to fresh and clean clothes. Black today. Black slacks and black t-shirt.

I stepped out from the bathroom. Everything was quiet and still. It was Wednesday morning. No birds were singing in trees, no basic voices of life anywhere near. _This is odd. When there is no sound that normally means a warning. _I walked downstairs and went to the kitchen. There was no breakfast and no coffee. Nothing was ready. _Mom is still sleeping I guess.. _I thought and started to make a sandwich and coffee. I ate in silence and then washed my plate and mug.

I walked back upstairs and started looking my mother. I found her in the master bedroom. She was gurgled on one side of the bed as small as she possible could. I went to her and watched if she was okay. She was my whole world still. Even after yesterdays' episode. Even after I felt betrayed.

I noticed she was not even nearly okay. She had a high fever and she didn't show any sign of movement or being awake. Immediately, I worried. I shook her lightly, but she didn't do anything. I started to panic and I shook her with little more force. Nothing again.

I lift her to my lap and picked her up in bridal style and started running to doctor. The doctor was located in the other side of the village. I ran there with everything I had and what my ass was worth. The bullies where in my way. In front of the school. They did recognize me and started running towards me. They attacked me, but said nothing. I stopped running to take them on. They had stones and one knife. The same one as last time. I gently laid my mother to the ground and turned around. I had my father's old military combat boots on my feet. They were a little bit too big for me, but I remembered something about military combat boots what I had read.

**"In the left side of the Shin-Ra Electric Company's Military Basic Combat Boots, is a basic military issue knife. Pull it off from the heals****'**** end."**

I looked at my fathers left boot and watched something to get the knife out. Or even to see if there was any knife in it as the book so carelessly promised. I took hold of the knifes end. I had found it in seconds. And hold it in front of me in defense stance. I watched as they came. They didn't again attack in one motion, no they started circling me and my mother.

"What's up Strife? Cat got your tongue?" John stated simply.

"Nothing of that is your business John" I answered him, and glanced my mother who laid in the ground on my left. She didn't look good. _This is not good... _I thought. I watched as the circle started closing slowly around me and my mom.

"I don't want to hurt you.." I said. I didn't feel too confident.

_DODGE! _

I obeyed in a second. I didn't know why I should listen to this voice, but the evidence of its warning being accurate came in a next moment. John had darted forward when I was in my thoughts and looking my mother. He sliced with his knife just above my head as I suddenly dodged like the voice ordered me to do.

The next attack came from my left and right side at the same time. I blocked the right sided attack with my knife holding hand, but the left sided attack caught me by surprise. The boy who was on my left punched me not so lightly to my collar bone. I grunted. As the battle succeeded the boys became faceless to me and everything was slowly becoming a green haze as my eyes turned slowly to green. I was angry at them. Not because they attacked me, no that was an everyday experience. It was because of my mother. I glanced at her quickly and I saw she was getting worse.

I just wanted it to end. Again I was taken by surprise as John holding the knife came to me and shoved his knife deep in to my gut. I came to my knees when he twisted the knife in my guts. I coughed up blood and it poured slowly from my mouth.

"Well now. You were so tough before. And now you are dying." John said and took the knife from my insides. I screamed.

"Don't you want to be in SOLDIER? SOLDIERs don't scream. I'm sure your father was just another wuss.. As you are. I bet he was lowly 3rd class.. If even that." John continued mockingly.

I knew that I should not take the bait, but I wasn't in much of a condition to do anything else.

I laughed, it was a hysterical kind that madmen made, "Hey John. I heard that you were a bastard. As in the real meaning of the word. Your mother fucked some lowly cadet, and got pregnant.. I'm not surprised that she took her own life after that. 'Cos you are just too ugly to anyone." I whispered and smirked hollowly as the blood loss took my voice and I started to feel weak.

"You are one to talk. As for you to know. My mother didn't fuck just anybody. She told me before she died that my father was president Shin-Ra himself. So if I were in your position I wouldn't say anything. I could just run to my father and tell him. And after that your dream of becoming SOLDIER would vanish to air." John said again.

"Load up boys. Lets leave these two here to die as they should. We are doing a huge favor to the whole village by killing them." John said again and he and his gang went away.

I was lying on my back at that point. I breathed slowly now, and the mako in my eyes was weakening. I didn't know how long I just laid there before I decided that I should get up. When I was back in sitting position I remembered my mother. _Oh shit! I have to get her to the medic. Now!" _I rose slowly. My legs were weak from the blood loss, and I swayed little, but quickly dismissed my self as the pain came back. I grunted and tears rose to my eyes. I placed my hand to my stomach to prevent the blood seeping anymore. Then I swayed my mother over my shoulder. I wondered how I had enough power to lift her.

_"I'll be the one to protect you from _

_Your enemies and all your demons _

_I'll be the one to protect you from _

_A will to survive and a voice of reason _

_I'll be the one to protect you from _

_Your enemies and your choices son _

_They're one in the same _

_I must isolate you _

_Isolate and save you from yourself "_

When I reached the doctors apartment I hoped that he would be there at the time. He sometimes made home visits. He was nice to me and my mother. He was somehow reliable and peaceful. He's name was professor Gast. He had been working with Shin-Ra laboratories and in there he had men trained to be a medic if there was need. Then after his retirement he had came here in Nibelheim and started a small clinic in his home. He was the villages' only doctor. He had come here at the same time as my mother and had helped her with the delivery of me. I didn't know why he was always so nice towards me, but I was grateful.

I quickly knocked to his front door. He opened with a smile on his handsome face.

"How may I help you Clo--?" He cut himself short by the blood on my face and stomach. He quickly noticed my mother's state.

"Come in Cloud quickly! Lay her on the bed." He ordered. I did as he told me and he started to examine my mother as soon as I was out of the way.

"What happened?" He asked me as I stood stunned.

My head started to feel light, "I was attacked yesterday by John and his gang. Then, the _strangest_ thing happened, my wounds healed in hours. Then, I saw them again after consciousness. My eyes glowed! They _glowed_! Mom was shocked about it when she saw them. Then, this morning I found her in her bed." I stated exasperated with the blood loss and shallow breaths I was quickly inhaling. With a nod he continued to heal my mother.

"She has some kind of inflammation. I will give her antibiotics and some morphine so she can sleep. I think it´s from shock." He said to me his back turned to me. I swayed a little and the movement suddenly felt painful and I realized that I had made a pained moan. Professor Gast turned to me and started examine me with his eyes.

"Are you okay Cloud? Is that blood yours?" He asked seriously. My automatic answer would have been ´I'm fine´ but as it turned out I needed healing. I was as stubborn as any usually even more. If I didn´t want something to happen or to do something I just carved my heels to the ground. But many times I needed to swallow my pride.

"No I'm not okay. John stabbed his knife to my stomach. And yes the blood is mine." I answered to him with slight indicator of my pain in my voice. He pushed me to the examination table and started to get my shirt off of me. I watched him. He didn't ask any questions which I was grateful. After getting the blood soaked garment off he started to clean the wound with alcohol.

"Cloud I know it hurts like hell, but you have to bear it. I'm sorry" Gast said sympathetic voice as he poured the alcohol to the open wound. The wound had started to heal on its own accord. He watched as it slowly started healing after the alcohol shower.

Gast sighed, his eyes somber, "Would you like to speed up the healing process? I have something that would do the trick but after I have used it on you, you have to come and get it in different times; depending on how you react and your tolerance." Gast explained.

"I think you would need it anyway if you don't want to end up mad." Gast said.

"What are we talking about now?" I asked curiously my brain was trying to catch up from the blood loss.

"Mako. You have it already because your father was in SOLDIER and because you have lived in here. But you need more. That's plain certain. " Gast explained once more.

"Okay.." I said cautiously.

_Is my head still in the clouds?_

"Ok then. Let's test your tolerance and reaction. I need a blood sample and then I subject you with the mako. And then we watch your reaction. Is that okay with you?" He asked.

"Yes I suppose. I don't have any other choice in this matter.." I said little bit worriedly. He took that as yes and took a needle with a syringe and put it through my arm to my vein. Blood quickly came to the syringe and Gast moved to analyze the blood.

"You have already quite a lot Mako in your bloodstream. Let's just see your reaction to it then." he told. He took a new syringe full of green glowing mako in it.

"This is pure Mako. It's much more powerful than other substances so we have to be careful." Gast said to me. The needle was huge! And so was the amount of mako.

"This test will define how frequently you have to take shots. The common reactions have some not so fancy side-effects also. You can suffer from headaches, nausea, mako eyes, crawling of your skin, heighten senses, your body can exert more force, and your eyesight will get better and so on." He explained. He took my arm and put the needle through my skin and to my vein. I watched as the mako went to my bloodstream from the syringe. Immediately I started feeling the effects of Mako. It felt like my veins were freezing. It hurt like hell! First I just grunted and shifted but after a while I started sobbing and after that screaming my head off.

The pain however quickly subsided and I noticed that Gast watched me with interest.

"What?" I asked.

"You have even better reaction to the mako than even your father had. I don't know anyone who has that high tolerance and reaction to mako. General Sephiroth included." Gast explained to me.

"I have better reaction and higher tolerance to mako than General? How is that possible?" I asked.

"It's because of your father. I think, but the environment can do something too. Wait! Don't move. The after effects are coming!" He said to me and before I could protest he strapped me to the table after placing some sensors to my skin.

I started feeling like I might to throw up, but I didn't however. Before too long I started to shake. It wasn't bad at first but before too long I started to shake violently and I understand why Gast had strapped me down. My eyes hurt because of the light. Gast quickly moved to shut the lights in the clinic. My skin was itchy. Like hundreds of ants crawling on it. I wanted to scratch like a madman, but because of the restrains I couldn't. It continued about half an hour. After that he removed the restrains and left me panting for a minute. _Where did he go? _My answer came before I could process the thought.

He dragged a huge sword with him. A_ buster sword! _

"Cloud. Could you help a little? I'm not mako enchanted as you are so this thing is quite heavy." He said smiling. I looked down to my abs. There was no trace of the wound, only a light scar. I hopped off from the table and took a two hand hold of the sword and tried lifting it. I thought that it must be heavy as hell and I used much too force to lift it up. It suddenly spinned up from the ground and I stared it like it had came alive. It wasn't heavy. Just like some book or something.

"Well that was something. I never understood that you were that strong." Gast said and smiled at me, as I watched the sword with wonder.

"This is First Tsurugi. A beauty. She was sent to me by your father little after you came to this world. It had your name on it. Take some lessons at the village gym or something. I recommended you there so they can't say no. It won't be easy. Oh and here is the holster for her. You can separate her to 6 different pieces. This in my opinion isn't much."

"Wait! Wait! How the hell do you have my father's sword!"

His eyes went somber once again, "He told me to give it to you. He knew I was the town's doctor and how kind I am to you and your mother. He knew one day you would come to me like you are now. I´m still not sure that it was his thought. It would have been specially made for you."

"But that still doesn't explain it!"

"That's all I can tell you."

"But—"

"Calm yourself! Your eyes glow!"

Adrenaline pumped in my veins with my quiet rage. Gast knows something! _He won't tell me._ Cloud won't hurt the only person who was kind to him and his mother. He can't loose that.

Then, Gast eyed me with a suspicious stare, "By the way, have been suffering any pain or distress on the left side of your back?" He asked.

"Umm.... Yes actually. It started few days ago. Why?" I asked confused.

It was like the man's skin on his face melted, "Let's go to the back yard. And yes, you can take Tsurugi with you." He said, this time he smiled at me. We reached the backyard and he started to examine my back.

"Any pressure here?" He asked kindly, touching the spot dead-on.

"Yes. Why?" I asked curiously. This was way too weird.

"Why don't you try to free the pressure and see for you self?" He offered.

I thought about it, _Release the pressure? Like an ear ache? _I concentrated without asking anything else. It was like there was something _in_ my back. It had always been there but I had dismissed it saying to myself it was just muscle tension or something. Suddenly I felt a stinging pain in my back. Something _huge_ was trying to get free from there! I pressed harder and suddenly I screamed again as I felt the something to break free from its bonds. Blood was everywhere. I had clinged to my sword as if my life depended on it. I took a look of my back when I felt something heavy there to unbalance me.

I was stunned—no _stunned_ isn't even the right word for it! It was a black wing. Only one wing but a wing still. _Where the fuck did this come from! This is the source from all that discomfort! How the fuck did Gast know about it!_ A million other thoughts jumbled in my brain.

"As I thought." Gast said in awe. He came closer to me and brushed the feathers gently. I purred in happiness. _Hold the hell up! Purred!_

"They are incredibly soft." He said to himself.

"They are extremely sensitive." I said to him pulling the wing closer to my body.

Gast smiled as if he had half-heartedly expected it, "Yes. Put it back now and then get your mother, your sword, and go home. She should be alright by tomorrow. Then you should come and take your necessary Mako shot to.. Come and meet me in a week. There are some clothes for you in the examining table back inside." Gast said to me, wonder still showing in his eyes.

_Ugh, yeah, sure! That__'__s a step! That__'__s something normal. Oh, that__'__s right... _"Um.. There is one problem in that. How can I put my wing back?" _I might as well put some use to it since I have it, _ "And I should take some flight lessons too I guess." I said to him emotionlessly...er, sort of. The wonder of me possessing a wing had already dissipated. I now approve of its existence. It might come in handy.

"Just focus on your inner being. There is a natural path in you where the wing goes. You just have to try to put it there. And I may be able to help you with the flying lessons also. Let's discuss about that when we meet next time. But you must _not_ tell this to anyone! Don't tell anyone about your mako eyes _or_ your wing! _Especially_ your wing. They will notice your eyes eventually, but nothing else they can notice. So promise me you won't, okay? Not _even_ to your mother." Gast instructed, the worry taking over his face. Gast meant business about it.

"Okay I promise." I answered to him. Now my only problem was how to put the wing back. I focused to my wing and tried to pull it inside of my back. It was moving slowly but it was moving still. Finally when 20 minutes had gone it was securely inside of my back. I felt it in there, but now it didn't bother me anymore. Nothing actually bothered me. I now knew why I was so different. _All this time and I never knew... Fate, you ironic fucker..._

xxx

In the clinic there were clothes just where Gast said there would be. I laid Tsurugi carefully to the ground and started to examine the "new" clothes. It was a SOLDIER First class uniform! An old model, but still! I watched it in awe. I checked the name tag in the vest. It said . _What is this? I never knew anyone named Rhapsodus. Maybe it's my fathers real last name. _In the vest collar was three silver stars also. There was also slacks, SOLDIER belt, socks, boxers and one shoulder protector/shield.I put the vest on and watched myself from the mirror. _It looks surprisingly good on me. Did my father look like me? _

"I see you found your fathers clothes. I'm sorry that I don't have anything else to give what would be even close to your size." Gast said and took a look of me.

_First the sword, then the wing, now the clothes! What__'__s going on!?_ I shook my head, nothing seemed real anymore.

"Vest looks good on you. But don't let anyone see that nametag. No one. And don't tell your mother that you know who your father is. I won't speak anymore about your father except some little things that anyone knows. But nothing else. Now. Put the slacks on and take your mother home. Then you should go to your sword drills. You can take your sword with you, but you have to tell them it's just a replica. Not the real thing. You don't have to ever sharpen her and you should be able to fight with them all. There should be some special moves in her. You just have to learn them." He said to me.

"Yes. I will. What if someone sees me with the sword and the uniform and carrying my mom?" I asked worriedly.

"Don't let them see you..Ok that was a bad idea. Hmm.. If they ask you questions don't answer them. And if the bullies come… Then use your sword. Not the sharp edge, the flat side is the right side in those situations. I'm sure you can use it without lessons. Well not well but somehow. I remember your father, he was a natural talent. I think you are too. Oh.. I have something else for you also." Gast said smiling and turne to the far left box. What ever it was he did find he left it to the table.

I put my old slacks and underwear to the trash can and changed to the SOLDIER uniform. It looked good on me. I really looked like SOLDIER and it felt nice.

"Now, let me help you with all those straps and belts." Gast said moved to put them on. He also put the sword holster in its own place on my new uniform. He took the nametag and silver stars away and put them in to my pocket. When everything was its own place I put the sword to my back. Not to the magnet which was also there but to the holster which was strapped to my back. It made sitting hard but it was worth it.

"Now to the thing I wanted to give you." Gast said and gave me a book. _SOLDIER Protocol _was the name of the book. It was base on SOLDIERs rank. First 3rd then 2nd and then 1st. I skipped the first two and went to the 1st class SOLDIERs section. I readed the part quickly and memorized it to my head so I could act like a real SOLDIER if I needed to.

"I thought it might help you with your little problem." Gast said smiling. I nodded him a thanks and took my mother and carried her away bridal style. When I was at the door I noticed Gast wanted to say something. I watched him with questioning look.

"You should take materia classes also. Maybe even some medicine so in time you administer your own Mako injections and deal with injuries. Don't use this uniform after this until you earn it. Not in public what so ever. Remember to come here next week. I don't have any other appointments. See you Cloud." Gast said to me with smile.

"Thank you Professor. I really appreciate everything you have done for me. Thank you." I said and waved my goodbyes.

xxx

I walked slowly. The uniform was nice on me. It felt like I really was in SOLDIER. I took the name tag and placed it with the stars to my vest. I was going to leave to Midgar in 8 months. When I had turn 14 years old. I had decided that ages ago. I just hoped that they would accept me there. I never wanted anything bad to happen. Now that I knew how to act it wasn´t difficult to be like this. I had the mako eyes, the SOLDIER body and the feeling of beeing enchanted.

I was in front of the school. People, meaning students and teachers were all out, talking, drinking coffee and having fun. They didn't notice me. At first.

"Look, look! It's a real SOLDIER!" Someone shouted. They didn't recognize me. I wondered why? Then again. I had the SOLDIER outfit, a buster sword, my hair and face were in blood and I carried Myra in my arms like a loving husband.

"He's a first class if I read his uniform correctly." John shouted. They all started running towards me. I didn't want to interact with them, but I knew that I needed to if I wanted to get away of this situation.

They all were happy as children with a lollipop. They were all talking about me. About mysterious SOLDIER first class. John was first to approach me. He looked me hero-worship clearly in his eyes.

"Excuse me.. But who are you?" He asked politely. That made some of my memories tingling. The answer came as even I wasn´t even talking. It just came from my mouth. The shocking thing was that I hadn´t spoke at all.

"I am Lieutenant General Rhapsodus, SOLDIER 1st class. What about you my boy?" I answered.

"John Ebony, sir" He answered to me. There were others around me and I wanted to get away from this situation. I knew John wouldn´t be done, ever.

"Why are you carrying Myra?" He asked from me.

"I came to visit to my wife and son. I just couldn´t afford the time to come earlier." I said.

"Strife boy you mean?" John asked. I didn´t answer. I released my wing and took off. Only couple of black feathers drifted down.

xxx

My wing had gone back to my back. I took my sword and laid it against the opposite wall. Then I quickly stripped, until I stared the vest. There was a specially made hole for the wing, which nobody without one would had not notice. I smiled sadly to my self, took quick shower and ran with my sword, holster, and clothes to my room. I placed the SOLDIER uniform vest, belts and other little things to a box behind my desk where Myra wouldn't find them.

I was pissed at her. She hadn't told me about my father and now I couldn't even ask anyone about him because of Professor Gast. I dressed myself with black t-shirt.. SOLDIER slacks were pretty much like every other slacks so it was okay. SOLDIER boots I had possessed something like four years already so nobody would suspect anything. I quickly placed all belts and straps like they were, put my sword to its holster and ran to my sword, materia and medicine classes.

_"Swayin to the rhythm of the new world order and _

_Count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums_

_The boogeyman are coming _

_The boogeyman are coming "_

_Keep your head down, go to sleep, to the rhythm of a war drums"_

I didn't make it to the morning classes because of the beating and Myra's illness so basically the school had already over for me. But because the drills and everything else I was here. I was happy, John's gang had already left the building. John however was in sword fighting class. I heard someone speaking about the mysterious SOLDIER and I smiled a little.

I arrived just in time to the sword class.

"Professor Gast said that I should come here and practice sword fighting." I said to our teacher, Mr. Wedge. He had also worked in Shin-Ra. What I had heard he was an old Sergeant. He took retirement after some odd mistake. He had come also at the same time as Gast and Myra.

"Yes yes Strife. I know that all ready. Gast called me an hour ago and said that you were coming. I never said anything that you should not come. So tell me about your sword and why you want to use it." Wedge ordered.

"Yes sir. This is a buster sword replica and I want to use it because I want to be in SOLDIER, sir." I answered to him.

"Strife come to the backroom." He ordered, his face turning slightly red. I didn't say anything, but followed him there.

"I know what that sword really is. That is not a buster sword replica. That's a real thing. So don't lie to me about it. What I don't understand is how you can even carry it. So explain to me. Gast said it had something to do with mako but refused to tell me anything more." Wedge explained, demeaning an answer.

I tried to stay calm to keep my eyes from glowing that frightening green, "Yes sir. My father was in SOLDIER. He was first class. And because of him I have Mako in my system. However, First Tsurugi is not an _'__it__'_. Its _'__She__'_! _She_ was my father's and now she's _mine_. I won't leave her." I replied furiously.

He snorted, "Noted. Okay then Strife. But be careful with her. I can see that she's not any kind of weapon. She's collection of six pieces right? Oh and by the way. John is actually using a buster replica. You can see the difference immediately with your eyes." Wedge told him. Leave it to the experts to know about swords.

"Yes she is. And I will keep my strength on a tight leash." I said him back when we were walking back to the training hall.

xxx

The class was interesting. First we went through basic stands, waves, moves, parrying, shielding and slashes. It was easy to me to do everything. I was a natural talent. At the end of first half I knew everything what we had learned by heart. It was an amazing feeling to be the top of your class. Grace was far from my movements but I knew them and I could use them. Ex-Sergeant said that the grace would come afterwards.

_It feels so good to be something now. Even though Father isn__'__t here anymore, at least he gave me natural talent. At least, he gave me something._

Then came the matches.

We were split in two groups. Ten people in each half and then he told us to get a partner and start to spar. In friendly way, I was paired with John. Who was the second best. In the beginners moves however. He knew some others as well, but he was far better in ugliness than fighting.

"Uuh Strife. I didn't know you were _that_ strong. How much your sword weighs? It must be too heavy for you. I have actually a real buster sword. Your's just a cheap replica Ha!" John picked on me. He had one black feather on a chain in his neck. One of _my _feathers. I almost laughed right there at his face.

"What´s so funny Strife? I saw a _real _SOLDIER today. He flew away but I was able to catch one of his wings. Did he visit you as he said he would? I doubt. You are such a wuss. I mentioned this to him." He said.

I laughed on harder. My sword was pointing to the floor and I was relaying it to keep my self standing. It was hard because I was laughing so hard. _Dumb ass. That was me you idiot. I will show this to you someday._

_His arrogance is becoming very funny. Dumb ass._

"I. don't. care. Could we just spar already or are you just all talk?" I reminded him. I still had the slight smile on my face.

He went red and started in fierce slash. I parried it. It went okay until he started to use some dirtier moves against me. I was defensive and he for offencive. My sword started to feel heavy. It felt like this had gone on forever. I used my swords flat side from up to down way and pinned John under my sword.

"Your sword weighs a ton Strife. Let.. Me.. Free!" John said. I was inch close of strangling him but I lifted my sword of off him and started walking towards Wedge. He came furiously from behind, I didn't have anytime to prepare. I noticed his attack coming second too late. His sword went straight throw. I watched the swords tip come through my stomach. The wound was bigger and nastier than the knife wound had been earlier. I took hold of the blade and pushed it back through myself. I held the tip in my hands and suddenly swung him and his blade to the wall.

I noticed a window open near the roof. Everyone watched either him or me. Suddenly I was furious. I was so angry that I felt like I was going to kill everyone/everything on sight. I was out of the door as quickly as possible. I fled to the clinic never minding the intensity that the blood was pouring.

I knocked lightly to the door. I didn't notice how I dropped and how Gast caught me and laid me to the examination table. I didn't feel a thing. _If this is how people die... Its wonderful. Now where are the angels? Or demons? Or are they even any? _

_-"Cloud.. You are your own Angel."-_

_"Stay with me _

_Safe and ignorant _

_Just stay with me _

_Hold you and protect you from the other ones_

_The evil ones _

_Don't love you son, _

_Go back to sleep"_

**A/N: So here it is.. at last. R&R means press the button :D Next chap will be up in a few weeks. **


	3. Chapter 2 OLD

**A/N: Here is new Chap to you all. Thanks to all who reviewed. And a very big thank you to my beta: Original-Botticella. **

**2. Abuse**

KoRn - Alone I Break

_"Pick me up _

_Been bleeding too long _

_Right here, right now _

_I'll stop it somehow "_

I woke up in prison. _What a.. ? _I thought I went to the clinic. I glanced down to my body. The wound hadn´t closed yet, but it had been cleaned up. It didn´t hurt so much, but I still wanted to make sure that it wouldn't bleed anymore so I decided that I would lay down where I was.

I started to recall what had happened. I was walking to the clinic and then everything went black. No one was around. The bullies weren't even out of school yet. I began to panic. My mother needed me. The worst possible things went through my mind. That my mother was dead and I was going to be some raped experiment. I couldn't free myself. My body ached and my head was fuzzy.

"Cloud? Are you awake?" Unfamiliar voice asked.

The abruptness of the question startled me.

"Yes I am." I answered. Some man who I had never ever seen came in to my cell and glanced down towards me. The low light allowed me to guess what he was—a guard—a Nibelheim guard for the prison.

"You have to stay here only today and tomorrow. I see you didn´t notice your braces. They are there so you can´t escape. I know your mako-force. I know you are not a weakling. You can have your sword back when you have spent enough time here." The unfamiliar man said to me.

"Why am I here?" I asked confused.

"Why, _Why_? You _still_ ask! You tried to kill John. But since you are underage and it was a combat situation we cannot keep you here more than few days." The man said.

"I fucking didn´t try to kill John!" I shouted, but my vision started to blur by the force.

He gave a snide face in disbelief.

"Okay you won´t believe me... Can I sleep now? Before I pass out?" I asked neutrally.

"Of course I don´t believe you! And yes you can sleep...For now. Have a nice day Cloud." Man said smirkin. He went back to the hall. I was happy to be alone. I tested my braces. They were tight but not too tight. They were clearly made to endure even SOLDIER's strength, so I couldn´t escape whatever the situation was. I decided to sleep a little bit more. Maybe next time I would wake up the wound had healed. Maybe next time whatever scenario this was would end.

xxx

I woke up when something cold was attached to my ankles. I didn´t struggle. Yet. They were just ankle braces. Maybe some of my visitors wanted more security. I was on my back, my hands were chained to the wall over my head and my legs were spread by the shackles. I glanced down to my body.

I was naked!

I didn´t have even my _boxers_ to cover me! I started to panic at that point. Then, John and some of his gang members, Willows included came to my cell. The man left me with the benign gang.

"Oh aren´t _you_ helpless? Just so you know Strife." John came close to my ear and whispered, "I am going to rape you and I will make you love every minute of it. Just to make your shame even more powerful." John said to me and started to strip his pants off. The other boys made lewd gestures and cat-calls.

"Boys. You are free to assistant. And so that you know... Be quiet. We don´t want someone to come in and see you in that state." John said.

His dick was erect and started to leak.

I was panicking, even an idiot would have understood that much. I started to struggle. It was pointless, but not hopeless. I thought that if I could get one of my legs or arms free that would be the end of it. At the time I was focused to my thoughts, John had moved my legs. They were now strapped to the same hooks than my arms, only higher. They left me open to everyone. I tried to yell, but no sound came. That was because of the collar, which I hadn´t even noticed before. It was tight and there was a leash also, which now was also hooked to the wall behind my head.

Shit, shit, SHIT! What to do? What to _do_?!

Whatever it was, it had to be quick. It won't happen unless you make it happen.

Then it came to me. All my restrains were hooked to the wall. If I could lift my legs a little my legs would be free. I doubled my afford to free myself. I noticed that lifting them off would acquire an excellent flexibility. Which I actually had. Myra had thought me Yoga since I was 8 years old. I pushed myself forward in the bed, so that my whole weight was on my arms. I then put my legs as high they could get and twisted my hips.

"Is that an invitation?" John asked me smirking. I had forgotten that they were even there. Which I quickly calculate as a mistake.

"So you had a crush on me the whole fucking time... This is surprise. Really..." John said and mock saluted me. Finally just when he was coming towards me, I got my legs free. He was on my range so I hooked the chain to his neck, crossed my legs and pulled. His face was starting to redden before any of the other boys understood to do anything. When John fainted, I quickly hit the other three boys with the chain; knocking them out. I unhooked my self from the wall and took the collar of. I took some of their cloths and ran.

Where is Tsurugi?? Come on baby, give me a sign!

I heard her. It was like a tiny whisper somewhere inside of my mind. I followed it to the end chamber of the prison. I found her just in time. There were guards that came towards me, rifles pointed to my naked back. I took Tsurugi to my hand and turned slowly.

"Prisoner! Drop the weapon!" One of the guards said to me. I started laughing. The menacing laughter. My eyes were all green and my pupils were slits. Suddenly I came serious. But the insanity was still visible in my eyes.

"Oh I don´t think I will." I said smirking. I attacked to them. How should 5 basic guards survive a SOLDIER?—or at least one with the capability? That´s not possible. In 40 seconds they were all disarmed, wounded, or dead. _Oh.. I made a new record.._ I started laughing again. It´s not like I thought that it would be funny, that wasn´t the thing. Once I had started laughing I found that it was hard to stop.

I was on the run again. I either disarmed or killed anyone that came in to my way. And I laughed the whole time.

This is actually very, very fun.

Was it the high? Was it the adrenaline?

Or was I born to laugh at carnage?

When I came out from the prison, I was covered in blood—head to toe. I had made a decision. Nibelheim was not for me. There was a landing pad near of the clinic. Today there should be helicopter; there was always one for medical emergencies. But first I should go home... My mother is waiting for me.

_"I'm a make it go away _

_Can't be here no more _

_Seems this is the only way _

_I will soon be gone _

_These feelings will be gone _

_These feelings will be gone"_

Imagine your mind. What kind is it? Is there flowers, sun, light? I never had any of those things. My mind was in darkness. At first I was alone in my mind, but then at some point, I wasn´t alone anymore. In the darkness of my mind was someone. It talked to me. Whispered things to my ears and poisoned my mind slowly. Myra, my mother was a light in that darkness. However, after John and her betrayal there was no light what so ever. I had grown emotionless. My eyes were always dull, they never betrayed any emotion because there wasn´t any.

A month went by as the inflammation healed. Constantly I was ridiculed. Constantly I was shamed. Still, I walked on—a proud future-SOLDIER.

It was the longest month I endured. Nightmares invaded my dreams—the one's I've killed from the prison became my enemies in my dreams—they _mock_ me! Madness seeping into my mind and soul. Sometimes I was tempted to set the town on fire and let it burn my fury away.

I refrained from it. I rather _fight_ madness than _be_ madness.

I trained for that moment to where I would leave this place and never return.

Myra was okay, the inflammation cured she was as happy as ever. She thanked Gaia every morning since then for her health. She noticed my emotionless behavior, but didn´t say anything. I sometimes read her diary while she was asleep or out buying groceries or working. There she wrote about me...

_Dear Diary,_

_Cloud has grown emotionless. It´s just like his father was always. He always was so emotionless. In work, and home. However, when he left that shell he was romantic. Cloud is exactly like his father. He doesn´t talk much, can hide his emotions and is already like SOLDIER. He could kill if he wanted to. Without emotion. He would be a very good Turk. I just know it. I want to protect him, but I can´t, despite my past I can´t protect him. I can protect myself because of my past. John and Willows came here few days ago. Said that if I don´t do what they say they will kill me. I took a gun from my pocket and almost shot them. I made a little display for them. There is that apple tree a few meters away. I shot few apples off it. Straight to the basket. After that they haven´t done anything. I fear that they have threatened Cloud, but I cannot be sure. I hope that he´s okay. I heard from Gast that Cloud is doing great at school. I somehow miss the old days. When I was still living in Midgar. My job was dangerous, but it was still like family. It was where I met G. Vincent was my boss. He was a good leader. He kept us united like a family. I miss him. _

_I hope my Angel understands how to love. I don´t know how to make him better. It´s like he´s his father too much. Like he has to be that kind. Well he always was very much that kind. Soon it´s Angel's birthday. He´s going to leave to Midgar. I know it. I know more things than my Angel can guess. I was so afraid after his Mako eyes. I don't doubt that Angel has a wing too. He has so many habits that indicate to that. He scratches his back every now and then._

_My fierce little Angel._

That night as I was sleeping, I couldn't wake up. A world opened and it was like looking through an hour-glass that had restarted. It was the same sand, the same hour-glass, just a different time.

It was all the same though.

xxx

When I came home, I went straight to the bathroom. After a shower, I went looking for Myra. She was in the garden.

"Myra." I said quietly.

"Yes Angel?" She answered and came towards me.

"Why don´t you tell me about _anything_?" I asked her as I sighed heavily.

"About what?"

I mentally fumed, she knew, "You _know_ what I'm talking about."

"It is not my making. I can´t control it. I promised not to tell you certain things and I am going to keep that promise." She said and walked in to the house. I followed her to the kitchen. She placed a cup of coffee in front of me. There were four presents in the end of the table. One with black paper and silver ribbon; a second with blood red paper and black ribbon; a third with blue paper and white ribbon; and fourth one with golden paper and green ribbon.

"Who are these from?" I asked her wearily. The madness inside of me was still there, but I didn´t want her to know that I had escaped from prison and all.

"I can´t tell anything more, but the golden one is from me." She explained and left the room.

Moments went by.

Eternity went by.

I started unwrapping them quietly. From Myra I had a locket with two pictures—one of her and one of some man, who I didn´t recognize. The man had light red hair and my nose and lips. He was handsom. From second gift, I got a belt. It was nicely made; it had to have cost a fortune. It was soft but I knew that it would hold until my days were gone. Then from third present, I got a book of LOVELESS. It looked nice. Then from the last one I got earrings. One with a wolf head, a ring on its mouth and the second was a sword with a tiny stone on it. I examined them with care. In the wolf head was a mastered heal materia and on the sword were a summon. Behemut summons to be precise. It was mastered also. I pushed them to my ears. They looked nice on me.

What did I do to deserve these things on my birthday?

Who was the man in the locket?

Why so many grand things given?

Would it be my last birthday?

xxx

"You have an appointment with professor Gast today am I correct? I know very well the effects of mako. Therefore, I would advise you to take it easy. Also, carry that sword of your always with you. Now go along." Myra said to me.

I mock saluted to her and took my leave. I had all ready packed my things. I took them with me. I arrived to Gast's clinic five minutes after that. He opened the door and gestured me inside without a word. I took my shirt off and went to the examination table.

"Now now... Today I want to show you how to administrate injections by yourself." Gast said to me.

I only nodded and rose from the table. Gast took a syringe and bottle full of mako.

"Take these. Put the needle through the plastic gap and fill the syringe." Gast commanded.

I did what he said.

"Clear the air from the syringe and put the needle through your vein. Push the Mako inside." He again commanded. I did just that. I found my vein quickly and pushed the liquid to it. The effects were imminent. I almost dropped the syringe. My effects to Mako were becoming worse all the time. I didn´t know why and Gast didn´t explain to me.

I started shaking violently and my eyes were glowing green. Then suddenly there was an intense pain in my head. I clutched it and drop to the ground. Suddenly there was only darkness. Then the memories came...

SOLDIER exam... failure... Sephiroth—madness... Zack—dead... Nibelheim... Sephiroth—dead... killing... Hojo... experiments... mako... weapons...AVALANCHE... Vincent... Angel.... Aerith—dead... Church... Kadaj... Geostigma... Shin-Ra—fall... WRO... fighting... 

Death—my own...

xxx

_"Now I see the times they changed _

_Leaving doesn't seem so strange _

_I am hoping I can find _

_Where to leave my hurt behind _

_All the shit I seem to take _

_All alone I seem to break _

_I have lived the best I can _

_Does this make me not a man? "_

When I woke up I was still in the clinic.

"Gast... I know you now..." I said coldly. My expression was stoic.

"What do you mean Cloud?" Gast asked me.

"You have a daughter... Her name is Aerith. She´s your whole life... Or at least where. I don`t know anymore. Did Hojo send you here to find me? No? I suppose not. I know everything. Every single detail again." I said manically. I started to laugh... That insane laughter. I found hard to stop it once I begun it. My eyes were glowing... Full of mako again. I lifted myself off the table and started to make my leave.

"How do you _know_ those things? _Cloud_ are you all right?" He asked worriedly. My laughter stopped to a wail. The glowing in my eyes substituted and I reeled.

"What did I say?" I asked wearily. The green in my eyes leaving.

Something snapped inside me and what I knew faded.

Gast looked at me in shock. His mouth slack.

"I should get going. My sword lesson is starting in 15 minutes." I said.

That snapped him out of his reverie. He handed me the mako and I left. Not questioning the somberness in his eyes. I put the Mako to my back-bag and started to make my way to the landing pad. On my way there, I started wondering why I was going there. Then it came back to me. The insanity, dead guards, escape.

Shit! I have to go to the school. I have to figure this out.

I came to the school in time. I noticed John and gave him a hateful expression. My normally stoic face was twisted in anger about what he had put me through—almost. We had moved to more complex moves. We were practicing katas. Basic kata only. The same they thought for Cadets. I knew it and I moved with grace. I was thinking and my body moved to autopilot- I had mastered that skill ages ago. I was lost in my moves and I didn´t notice as everybody else were looking at me. Sergeant included. I had moved to the next kata. It was taught to you when you were SOLDIER 2nd class. They all watched in awe as I moved with grace.

My move was suddenly stopped by Johns Buster replica. I acted by instinct. I swiftly upholstered one of Tsurugi's smaller blades and struck it. It met Sergeant's sword in half way to Johns head.

"Enough Strife _enough_! I didn´t know you knew those moves. I can´t seemingly teach you anything in here. You are simply too good. There´s Martial Art lesson in next door. Go there now. They may be able to teach you something. You are still welcome to practice in here though. Now move Strife." Sergeant ordered. Awe and fear in his eyes.

"Um... What did I do? I actually wasn´t paying any attention..." I said little embarrassed.

"What? You don´t know what you did? You just made a kata that is practiced when you are SOLDIER 2nd class and above. You must been practicing with someone somewhere. I´m sure of it. Well... then come here again tomorrow after the classes. From now on you are practicing hand-to-hand combat with the other class. Is that understood?" Sergeant repeated.

"Sir Yes Sir!" I said a made a perfect salute to him and went out of the gym. I glanced back and saw the Sergeants face which was full of wonder.

My ears picked him saying: "That boy is full of wonders. I have never seen anyone to give a salute like that in this little town..." That made me smile.

xxx

_"Shut me off _

_I'm ready _

_Heart stops _

_I stand-alone _

_Can't be on my own"_

I went to the combat class in 5 minutes. There was a new teacher. The old one had gone to Costa del Sol for vacation. It wasn´t sure when he was back.

"Sergeant said that I should come here for practice." I said to him.

"Yes yes. Strife is it? I have heard of your skills. Go and practice with Tifa okay?" He said.

"By the way, my name is Lewis." Lewis said to me smiling.

"Yes sir." I said. I laid my sword to the bench and went to Tifa.

"Hi My name is Tifa. Nice to meat you." She said coldly. I didn't know nor cared what her problem was. I took basic stance and so did she. We started combating. She was much better than I was. My thoughts again started to wander and I was moving unconsciously.

I beat her fair and square.

She was just flying until she met the wall and slumped to the ground. She lift herself up and moved towards me, hate showing in her eyes—or was it jealously?

The hits rained upon me, but I managed to either block or parry most of her attacks. It wasn´t too hard because I didn´t think it. Then I noticed that in her perfect shielding was a tiny tiny, tiny mistake. I striked in to that mistake. Then she was on the ground. I restrained her. Keeping her from making another attack.

"I win." I said to her with my cold voice.

Lewis separated us and Tifa left in a mad-huff. Lewis just shook his head.

"I think you can leave now."

I saluted and went to the bench to collect my sword. My worldly focus was coming back instead of the combat mode. I had noticed everything until now, but what I didn´t notice was the person who was observing me from above. My instincts warned me about a danger. I quickly took my sword and slashed back ways the same time that I was turning to face my opponent.

Sephiroth!!!

No other thought came.

He parried my slash and made his own. I noticed that all his moves were flawless. Every single move was made gracefully and it made me look clumsy in my opinion.

Our swords locked momentarily for him to say some words.

"Hello Cloud. I have been watching you. Professor Gast called me to come and observe you. I have seen how you do what you do and I think that you are holding back." Sephiroth said to me, as he continued to make so many complex, fast and sudden strikes at me.

I was getting tired and then it happened again.

I started to laugh... Again that menacing laughter which wasn´t going to stop. Sephiroth stopped moving and looked me wondering. One eyebrow lifted above the other.

"What is funny Strife?" He asked me.

My eyes went same as his. And they glowed brightly, but it wasn´t the usual mako green. No, it was silvery blue glow. A menacing glow.

My laughter stopped again abruptly and I took a good look of him. I started smirking.

"The _funny_ part is that, finally, I have someone who is worthy opponent to me." Sephiroth squinted his eyes, calculating what I was saying, "I know you Sephiroth. I know everything about you. Tell me: Has Jenova been speaking to you? She´s not your real mother you know. She didn't birth you—it was all in Hojo's scheme. A scheme to create the perfect _warrior_ and _body_ for _her_ to use!" I laughed harder, "And you _believed_ him! You _believed_ Jenova!" Something inside me started to break—like years of pent up emotion and strife.

"Stop it!" he hissed.

I continued as Sephiroth looked in mild-shock, "It´s funny how you think you can beat me. But the problem is that you can´t. I have killed you three times all ready. No matter how many times you come back from the dead." Mental-alarms started ringing inside Sephiroth's head.

My eyes sombered, he needed to know the consequences, "You killed _everyone_ who ever ment _anything_ to me! Because of you, Hojo _experimented_ on Zack and me for five _years_! You of all people know what that was like! Do you remember him?—Zack? You did stab him!—commanded by Jenova! Or did you _die_ when Jenova took over your body? You _died_ believing a _lie_!" I laughed like a madman, "_Your_ best friend—_my_ best friend! It all happened because you _believed_ a _lie_!"

My chest started heaving; my body mildly hyperventilating. I said words that I do not know the origin of—of where they came from.

A tidal wave of electricity coursed through Cloud's veins, and suddenly he wasn't Cloud Strife anymore. Like a switch finally being turned on, he realized was never Cloud Strife.

"What are you talking about?" his voice barely a whisper, "Yes, I know about Jenova!—but I do not feel dead! I have not killed anyone except those in Wutai! I wouldn't kill Zack!" Sephiroth shouted and attacked.

I parried and made my own moves at him.

"Neither Strife nor Cloud. That is _not_ my real name. What do you think I am? An idiot? You don´t even know your own _name_! If you guess _mine_ I'll tell you _yours_!" I said to him still smirking. And I attacked in a fury.

He made few defensive moves and came towards me.

"I have no idea what you are talking about Strife! What should I call you?" Sephiroth said to me coldly at a brief interval.

"Think Sephiroth. You're just scared to say it. Who am I _most_ like that is close to you?"

Move after move came from both parties. Sephiroth noticed bits and pieces of Cloud's fighting. Cool, calculating, guided by instinct, and not afraid to attack.

It couldn't be. It shouldn't be.

He paused, "Rhapsodus."

Cloud smiled, "Angel Rhapsodus. Yes that´s my name once upon a dream. Your dear friend Genesis, who´s going to AWOL in a matter of weeks, is my father. Isn´t that just absolutely wonderful." I said to him madness clattering in my eyes. He attacked again.

A deal was a deal.

"First of all... Your name. Haven´t you ever thought about your lack of a last name? That´s one thing. Secondly Jenova isn´t your mother. Hojo isn´t your father either. Vincent Valentine is. And your mother is Lucrecia Crescent."

Sephiroth's lips thinned. He heard about Vincent and Lucrecia before, but those memories are as hazy as summer.

"Your real name is Sephiroth Valentine."

Enraged, "How do you _know_ that all?! Even I didn´t know that Genesis possessed a _child_!" He said. He got his attack home—he was bending on emotion. He slashed my shoulder. Suddenly I stopped. He watched me with one eyebrow lifted, his chest heaving, and arm shaking.

The madness and mako glow in my eyes dissipated. I swayed a little.

The switch that turned on suddenly and without warning turned off. He was Cloud Strife again.

"What happened?" I asked weakly and dropped to the ground only to find that I was in Sephiroth's arms.

Darkness took me.

_"I'm a make it go away _

_Can't be here no more _

_Seems this is the only way _

_I will soon be gone _

_These feelings will be gone _

_These feelings will be gone"_

xxx

When I woke up I remembered hazy moments and intensity of the battle with Sephiroth. It wasn´t hard, but there were holes in the memories.

I noticed that I couldn´t lift my limbs, as if they were strapped down. I opened my eyes. I was in some kind of lab. There was two mako tanks on the further wall, as well as computers, two doors, books, papers and off course mako and other substances.

On my right was another examination table. Sephiroth laid there, his eyes are closed, and he had a concussion in his head by all the bandages. Not nice.

"Sephiroth! Wake up!" I groaned to him. No answer. I wanted to touch him somehow...

The wing!

I quickly freed my wing and started to tickle and pat him. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes.

"Angel?" Sephiroth said to me. I looked at him as if he was a little crazy. He noticed my wing but that was another question another time.

I didn't want to say anything about that though, "Sephiroth... How did we have here?" I asked him.

I was surprised that I could talk to him like that. It was probably because we were the same. Different sides of the same coin.

"I remember having you in my arms and started to take you to the clinic. When I got there I placed you to the examination table... After that I don´t remember anything. But I know where we are. We are in the old Shin-Ra mansion." Sephiroth explained to me.

"Thank you for the information. But... why are you here?—in Nibelheim?" I asked him wearily.

"Gast called me. He said that here should be someone SOLDIER worthy. At first I didn´t believe him, but after I watched and experienced your fighting it is certain. You are going to be a SOLDIER, and you are going to rise in the ranks fast. "He said to me. "Well, as soon as we get out."

I nodded, "Or at least try. I have some mako with me. That should give as enough boost to get away from these." I said to him.

"Yes. Wait a second." He said. Two wings sprouted from his back. He took the all-ready-made injection of mako from the table with his wing.

"We need that mako later on. This is much easier way." He said to me and injected me with the mako. It was terrible to watch I think. The pain was something which I really don´t like to remember, ever again. After all the aftershocks and effects I was fully boosted.

I opened my restraints and after that, Sephiroth's. He nodded in a 'thanks.' We started to leave the basement, along with our swords, but, again, the insanity rose in me. Or was it insanity?

_Let me out Cloud... Let. Me. Out! There is something that we have to do! We have to save Vincent! NOW! _

"We have to save Vincent." I said aloud. My face was expressionless, and my voice was cold.

"What? Why? Is he here?" Sephiroth asked.

_Yes he's here! Let me out!_ Angel's voice was so strong in me. The insanity was strong. I gave in.

"We have to. He is my friend. He is also your father, don´t you want to see him?" I asked from him.

Insanity, the memories, and everything had changed everything in me. My face looked older; the way I talk, walk, and act was different. It was then my insanity had a voice of its own, everything just changed.

The switched turned on again.

Sephiroth noticed that much.

xxx

_"Now I see the times they changed _

_Leaving doesn't seem so strange _

_I am hoping I can find _

_Where to leave my hurt behind _

_All the shit I seem to take _

_All alone I seem to break _

_I have lived the best I can _

_Does this make me not a man? "_

We came to the coffin room. There was four coffins, three of them had dead person inside. But the fourth was different. I didn´t waste any time, I opened it very carefully. Death Penalty was instantly pointing my face.

"Why have you disturbed my rest?" Vincent asked from me. I think he noticed my insanity.

"I wanted to give you the chance to meet you and Lucrecia's son—Sephiroth. That´s why." I told him. The gun haven´t moved even an inch. Cerberus came to his clawed hand and pointed to Sephiroth.

"How do you know that?" Vincent asked to Cloud.

It was then Sephiroth spoke, "I have been wondering the same thing. But we have to move before Hojo or Gast comes back. Are you coming with us or do you want to die?"

Vincent thought for a few moments.

"Don't believe Hojo. Sephiroth didn't die during conception. He told you that so you wouldn't interfere. Just like he killed Lucrecia to stop her from interfering with Sephiroth."

Then, he quickly holstered the guns, stood, and faced the two who disturbed his sleep.

I opened the door and I glanced back to them.

"Are you coming or not? I will explain everything later on." I said to them. They followed me out of the mansion.

Occasionally Vincent or Sephiroth would look at each other. Contemplating and processing that everything that they have possibly known about each other was a mere lie by Hojo.

On the outskirts of Nibelheim we stopped at a hill.

"Stay here. I don´t want to hurt either of you... I know you are both almost immortal, but still. Vincent, keep Sephiroth under some control, he will go a little crazy in few minutes, but it is only temporarily. Keep him sane like a father would." I said and walked away as I tracked a different route to the mansion.

They were both looking at me with stunned expression on their faces. It was about that time when Jenova would try to take over Sephiroth's body.

I wouldn't allow him to read the lies Hojo implanted in the mansion basement. Once I was in the mansions' front yard, I summoned Behemut from my earring materia and had him blast the mansion and burn the rest.

A few minutes later, I went up to the factory and repeated the process. The force was so strong the ground shook violently.

I heard Jenova scream in my head and I heard Sephiroth screaming also...

Their screams were so loud. The wails were breaking my soul!

The summon sapped my strength.

After minutes passed by, I heard nothing but the wind. Jenova was silenced.

I had enough energy to limp back to Sephiroth and Vincent. I was already ready to fall to sleep.

"It´s done..." I said tiredly and clumsily blacked out...

The hour-glass has reset. Sand pours to the bottom. The neck restrains the sand to a select few strays of sand. It all happens again and again.

_"Am I going to leave this place? _

_What is it I'm running from? _

_Is there nothing more to come? _

_(Am I gonna leave this place?) _

_Is it always black in space? _

_Am I going to take its place? _

_Am I going to win this race? _

_(Am I going to win this race?) _

_I guess God's up in this place _

_What is it that I've become? _

_Is there something more to come? _

_More to come... "_

When I woke up I was in Gast's clinic. I glanced my surroundings, but I didn´t find anyone. I was bound in the table again...

_Why do I always wake like this? And where´s Sephiroth and Vincent?_

"Good you are awake..." Gast said with his usual smile.

"You were asleep a long time... I would like to administer your usual mako shot. If that is okay?" Gast said.

_What the hell? Nothing of that happened? No it can´t be like that_...

**// Actually… It did happen... At least from the memories. You got your memories back. Or some of them at least. // **

_Who are you??_ I didn´t get any answer to that one. I was so confused. It sounded like Jenova. But it couldn´t be. At the same time that I had those thoughts, Gast had already started administered my mako shot. This time though, there were no side effects.

"You should go as soon as possible to your class... It starts pretty soon."

"Yes yes I'll go... I should go to home before I go there... At least so I think... How long have I been out?" I asked, shaking a little from confusion.

"A week... You are going to Midgar in two weeks, so you should at least go and get ready." Gast informed me and--

WEAPON... death... Mansion... Vincent... 

At that point I couldn´t identify the voice that at this time ringing in my head. It didn´t sound like Jenova. Gast must have noticed something because he was looking at me questionably.

"Cloud are you okay?" Gast asked from me worriedly.

"Yes, yes... Quite much... I should leave if we are ready." I said and started to make my leave.

"Yes we are. You are free to go." Gast said and opened my restrains.

I didn´t know it that time but Gast had actually performed some tests on me. They made me feel powerless, but I didn´t say anything because the mako was giving me an energy boost.

I left without saying anything and went home.

_Maybe Vincent and Sephiroth are there..._

I was thinking about my memories. I didn´t knew why I had two kinds of memories. It didn´t made any sense. _We were in a druk and Zack was saying something. Then I saw him dying. Then Sephiroth. I killed him. What is this?_

xxx

When I arrived, I didn´t want to see Myra. I thought that it would be irrelevant. She was always in the garden.

_Nothing happened. It was all the same the last I was here. I haven't opened my presents. Sephiroth never came. Vincent is still asleep. Am I crazy? Wait... Jenova is still alive!!_

Terror griped my being. No time like the present. I went straight to the kitchen, opened my gifts. I put the earrings to their right places and went to my room. I put the SOLDIER outfit on and my sword with me.

I went to the garden, Myra wasn´t there but I couldn´t care at that point. I looked at my memories about Vincent... There weren´t much of them.

**//If you want all your memories back I can make it so... but that will hurt//** Jenova was again whispering in to my ear with her poisonous voice, but I didn´t care about it. I opened my wing and flew to the mansion. My memory served me well and I knew how to go to the basement and to the room where Vincent was sleeping. I knocked to the lid of the coffin and opened it. Again Death Penalty was pointing to my face. I wasn´t scared.

"Hello Vincent. Had a nice sleep?" I said and smirked very Sephiroth-like.

"Who are you and why did you wake me?" Vincent asked coldly.

"I came to blow the place up. I didn´t want to destroy you with it. I will explain everything later, but now we have to go. Are you in Vincent? The father of Sephiroth?" I asked... Still smirking.

"Yes I suppose I am." Vincent said and rose quickly.

"If you want to see your son, come with me."

"He's dead."

"And you believed Hojo? The man who experimented on you and your son? The man who killed Lucrecia?"

A roar of emotions played in his eyes. "I'll come."

I sensed a barricade of monsters coming our way.

"There´s monsters coming to this direction. We have to leave now!" I shouted while we were running out from the mansion. We came to halls after halls until we encounter our first monsters. Vincent blew three of them before I could even blink. That leaved me one. I was battling with it. It was slimy with tentacles, but fast as hell. How do I always have the slimy, pink, tentacle fast ones?

I killed it fast and we started to run in staircase. There was some monsters coming from down and up. We killed the up way coming swiftly and came to a hall. The monsters quickly closed ranks around us and started to circle us. I was in defensive stance my sword drawn. We were back to back with Vincent.

**//Need a hand?//**

_I don't believe you! How can I hear you!?_

**//That's a shame then. You're both going to an early grave.//**

Vincent and I fought and fought. Still they kept coming. Where did so many come from? Did a monster zoo run loose? They came to us like flies. We were so surrounded it was suffocating. We moved two steps forward only to be beaten three steps back.

**//Are you sure you don't need me?//**

If I die now, that won't help Sephiroth reunite with Vincent and learn the truth. _Yes I would be appreciative for your help_...

**//You need to pay a price for this...//** Jenova whispered to me. I felt her smiling.

Suddenly my stance, character and everything changed. I was getting at quick phase length and mass, my hair grew and my eyes became cat like and green. Suddenly I _was_ Sephiroth. The sword in my hand wasn´t First Tsurugi anymore... It was _Masamune_.

**//Now kill them my child!// **

"Yes Mother" I answered and swiftly killed them all... I didn´t even break sweat. Suddenly I became wearily about my surroundings. My Sephiroth transformation ended. The only differences left were my hair, eyes, and skin tone. My muscles became more stone like and I swear that I felt ten years older.

**//Don´t think about the changes... That was the price you paid.//**

Vincent was looking at me as if I was a shrouded ghost from his past. He just stared.

"We have to leave now." I ordered. I never commanding or predatory. I was always the prey and everyone else were the hunters. But now everything changed—_I_ hunt. I moved too quickly out of the mansion.

Vincent was able to keep up due to the changes he went through decades ago. I found myself sympathizing with him. After all, we were both experiment due to Hojo.

"Vincent I think I should explain to you a few things. But for me to do what is needed, I first have to get a hold of my memories... I know more than what this life has brought me, but those past-life memories are hazy to me. And I need your help to clarify them." I said with a smirk evident on my face.

Everything was going to change... Eventually.

_"Now I see the times they change _

_Leaving doesn't seem so strange _

_I am hoping I can find _

_Where to leave my hurt behind _

_All the shit I seem to take _

_All alone I seem to break _

_I have lived the best I can _

_Does this make me not a man? _

_Now I see the times they change _

_Leaving us it seem so strange _

_I am hoping I can find _

_Where to leave my hurt behind _

_All the shit I seem to take _

_All alone I seem to break _

_I have lived the best I can _

_Does this make me not a man?"_

**A/N: So here it was. R&R please :D The next Chap will be up at fast as humanly possible.**


	4. Chapter 3 OLD

**A/N: I´m so sorry that this is so late. I had a really bad situation with work and college. So I simply didn´t have enough time to do this. Sorry.. Oh! And thanks again to all who reviewed and of course to my beta. ( I´m totally helpless with my english...)**

**B/N: Don't worry! Beta Original-Botticella to the rescue with her English speaking ways, plot bunnies, and grammar corrections!**

**3. Memories**

_Incubus - Pardon Me_

_"Pardon me while I burst_

_Pardon me while I burst_

_A decade ago, I never thought I would be_

_At twenty-three on the verge of spontaneous combustion_

_Woe is me_

_But I guess that it comes with the territory_

_An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity_

_I need you to hear, I need you to see_

_That I have had all I can take _

_And exploding seems like a definite possibility to me."_

We came to the basement of the Reactor. Where the Calamity - Jenova was being held. I broke the door to her chamber and went to her. Or rather, her presence.

"You said you could restore my memories.. How?"

**// I can´t. You have to do it yourself.. Ask Vincent to inject you with my cells and mako.. Your memories should come back. //**

"Vincent.. There´s vials of mako and Jenova-cells. Inject me with them. They should restore my memories." I said to Vincent. He looked at me like I was crazy.. But I couldn´t argue with that could I?

He came back in a moment and without saying anything went straight to work. He injected the substances into me. It was familiar feeling with the mako.. But the Jenova-cells. They were _absolutely_ horrid. First the feeling of mako which was like ice in my veins, and then the cells came like fire. It was a familiar feeling alltogether. They destroyed and repaired at the same time. The pain was something absolutely horrid. I didn´t even notice Jenova and Vincent looking at me. I was screaming my lungs out. Then the blackness took everything.

_"So pardon me while I burst into flames._

_I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games._

_So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame._

_Pardon me, pardon me... They'll never be the same."_

I was in a field of flowers. It was familiar somehow. And at the same time I didn´t recognize it.

"You came.. Everything is about to change and still you came." I heard a girl's voice saying.

"What? Who? How? Why?" I said panicking.

**Aerith.. Cetra...Memories... Past...Future.. Protect.**

"It´s the planet talking to you. That voice inside of your head.. I came here to help you. I´m not from your world. Not this world where you are now. I´m from the past, your past. You were sent to here to change the future. We want you to be happy. We want to give you rest. But that can´t happen until the world is safe. I will display all of your memories to you. Are you ready?" Aerith asked from me.

I didn´t have time to say yes or no. The memories came in flooding in my mind.

_**I was little some 10 years old or so. I was in front of town bar and people were bullying me. Mr. Lockheart particularly. **_

_**"Why didn´t you save her? Why did you tell her to come with you to Mount Nibel? She could have died and your are the cause of it all." He shouted at me.**_

_**He beat me until I was only bloodied heap in the floor. Then everybody left. My mother came and took me home...**_

_**I was leaving to Midgar.. The plane was here and all. I was ready. Nervous of course but ready still. I thought that the hellish time I had spent here would end when I reached Midgar and I could start again. **_

_**I was in boot camp and it was hellish. More hellish than Nibelheim had been. Instructors were nagging me because I was **__**little**__** and **__**lightweight**__**. The others bullied me because I just **__**sucked**__**.**_

_**But I managed..**_

_**I met Zack and Sephiroth and my life took more pleasant route. **_

_**We were happy. They were my only friends. **_

_**Though… **_

_**Sephiroth wasn´t my **__**friend**__**. he was my **__**lover**__**. **_

_**When the time came to take the SOLDIER exams, my whole world started to fall.**_

_**I had failed the SOLDIER exams. It took everything from me.**_

_**It was my **__**dream**__** and I didn´t pass it because I was **__**too little**__**. **_

_**Fuck little! **_

_**I was so depressed. Zack and Sephiroth tried to make me happier but they were too busy to actually care.**_

_**I knew they meant well. They were my dearest friends, and Sephiroth was the dearest of all to me. Not only did I fail the exams, I had failed them—I **__**failed**__** Sephiroth!**_

_**Then came the Nibelheim mission. **_

_**Everything went wrong. Sephiroth became mad and I had to kill him. It was all Zack had ever asked from me. And it was the hardest moment of my life—simply because I loved him.**_

_**For the love we gave each other—the **__**exact**__** love we fed each other with, it wasn't enough to save Sephiroth. It wasn't enough to save me. It wasn't enough to save Zack. It wasn't enough to save the village, it wasn´t enough to save the world from meteor and destruction. **_

_**His last words that I heard was "Don't **__**test**__** me!" Sephiroth, the man to whom I loved and had love me in return, had **__**never**__** spoken to me in such a tone. It didn't seem like it was him saying it to me.**_

_**Hojo. All the tests, pain and mako.. Everything just went away. Until I had mako poisoning and couldn´t do anything. All I could think of, is what a complete failure I am.**_

_**Zack saved me. We were on the run. Sitting on the truck. **_

_**"What are you going to do when we reach Midgar?"**_

_**Dying. The only person I had left who I cared for, my best friend was dying. In the rain. He gave me his sword and said that everything that was his was now mine. I should live. But how could I? Everything was my fault… All because I was a failure.**_

_**Pretending being Zack. Being a first class SOLDIER.. Everything just went...**_

_**AVALANCHE.. Barret, Tifa, Vincent, Nanaki, Aerith, Cid, Yuffie, Reeve.. All the people that wanted something from me. **_

_**Sephiroth came back and again I killed him... And myself at the same time. **_

_**GEOSTIGMA.. The disease. And Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo. Everything went to hell once again. I was used by Jenova and Gaia. Nothing was mine anymore. **_

_**My own **__**soul**__** was not my own.**_

_**Sephiroth came back a third time. And this time I died as well.**_

_**Gaia and Cetra saved me. They wanted the savior of the world should live to protect. Protect the lifestream. **_

_**All those years went by. All started to fade to darkness and grey.**_

_**I didn´t have anything left. I was already too old. All but Nanaki and Vincent were dead.. **_

_**I decided to kill myself. I couldn´t take it anymore. There was nothing left. But then again I came up with a problem. I couldn´t kill myself. I couldn´t die, By any normal ways. But somehow I still managed to get rid of my life.**_

_**And then I was dead.. And everything continued like it should. But it couldn´t. **_

_**Gaia was destroyed by Sephiroth. And Sephiroth was destroyed by Jenova. And everything came to an end…**_

_**Until now.. I was living again.. Gaia was living again…**_

_**I was reincarnated. The whole world is now resurrected.**_

_"Not two days ago, I was having a look in a book_

_And I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees._

_I said, "I can relate," _

_'Cause lately I've been thinking of combustication_

_As a welcome vacation from _

_The burdens of the planet Earth_

_Like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D_

_But thinking so much differently"_

I woke up inside of the reactor. It felt like I had been out for mouths, but really only few minutes. To go through your whole life was very tiring. I was like I remembered. I was fucking world saver and too old for any body. I was now thank full of the Sephiroth transformation. It had given me more age and better muscular structure.

"Again.. It´s happening again.. I´m sorry." I whispered to no one particularly. I took first Tsurugi, lying beside me on the floor and without warning, pushed it into Jenova. I heard her deafening screams inside my mind. My ears were ringing.

"You can live inside of me. That´s what happened last time. It´s impossible for you to die. And I as well. It´s impossible us to find the promised land and get there. Come with me Jenova. " I said coldly. My face was stone cold. Without emotion all together. My mind wandered back to the AVALANCHE days. And the days spent in the laboratory.

I placed my hand to Jenova's and I slowly absorbed her power and spirit inside of me.

I quickly silenced her voice. I will not allow her to possess me like she did Sephiroth. To do so will sign my death wish. A green glow surround me—it quickly absorbed into my being—creating a barrier to house Jenova.

"This is my body! My mind! You are no more than an inkling in my being! A fathom spirit locked inside me with _no_ freedom! You shall cause no harm to any blood relative or any other! _Silence Jenova!_"

And there was silence. The energy flowed in my Self. There was now calm. I turned to Vincent, who had a horrified expression—a hand on the holster of his gun. I smiled at him.

"Let's leave; there are too many memories here. What do you want to know? I promised to tell you everything." I said to Vincent while we were walking away from the reactor.

"How do you know me? Why don´t you fear me? Accusing me being a monster?" He asked with he's deep voice.

I smiled, how quizzical of you Vincent, you haven't changed at all, "I found you in my last life. So of course, I know you in this life. You were together with Cid."

"You were like a father to your son and to me—he still lives. It's a shame you believed Hojo in that regard."

"We never talked much, but we understood each other. The first time I found you, I didn´t fear you, I never saw any reason why I should. As for a monster? We are exactly the same. Minus Chaos and all.. But still. I have the same hate to Hojo that you have. He tortured and experimented on me for five years. You can guess how that went. After AVALANCHE we were too much the same. I didn´t grave any relationship and neither did you. Nobody could watch our scarred bodies without gasping. So we found each other. SOLDIERs have huge Libido.. So it´s no surprice." I explained to him.

His face was hard and scrunched up—as if he was concealing a great pain.

"However, after that things got worse. Your son, Sephiroth, didn't know about you or Lucrecia—he believed his mother was Jenova—a planetary parasite—that knowledge drove him insane. He tried to kill the planet twice. I had to kill him three times. You helped me kill him the second time. You loved him like a son, even though he tried to kill you and the planet."

Now there was no mistake in the somberness in his eyes.

"I should've taken Sephiroth." It was a bitter statement to himself.

"History hasn't repeated itself yet Vincent. Just keep that in mind."

We were out of the reactor. I had done what I had to do. Now only the last thing: Blowing up the reactor. We went to the near hill and I called Behemut, again like the last time. Only this time one thing was different. Jenova wouldn´t be destroyed, she was living inside of me. That helped in summoning because I could use her endless strength. The summoning and materia use was much easier than before. Maybe because my deeper connection to Gaia.

The reactor exploded quite nicely. I smiled, Reno would contemplate me if he were here. _That was quite flashy, nicely done spiky.._

"I need to go to Midgar in two weeks. Care to come with me?" I asked Vincent.

"I will come. I need to see my son. If you have lied to me about him.. I will murder you more cruelly than Hojo when I get my hands on him." He said venomously.

"I'm not worried then." I said.

We were going back home. Back to Sephiroth. The only problem was that I had absolutely no idea how to get in SOLDIER. The exams weren´t hard for me. The first test date was usually two weeks after the new cadets came in. I would take that and then.. I would be in. It wasn´t common for new cadets to take the exams but it wasn´t said that that couldn´t happen. It was just unusual. I knew that the instructors and sergeants would be amazed about me passing the exams like air, but I didn´t have the time to be there and study. I didn´t mind the thing that I was different. It was perfectly normal to me. And the thing was that I was now looking about twenty years old, with my muscles hard as stone an my face even harder. Then there were the scars. My left eyebrow had slight scar because of John. I was secretly happy about it. It made me feel like my old self again. Then there was the big one by Johns sword in my lower abdomen and back and from the last but not the least was the smaller one in my stomach.

xxx

_"Pardon me while I burst into flames_

_I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games_

_So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame_

_Pardon me, pardon me. They'll never be the same_

_Never be the same… yeah"_

The first thing I did before I left was cut my damn hair. Sephiroth might be able to fight with his hair down, but not me. It just wasn´t my style. It was actually pretty sad to see it fall in locks to the floor. In a middle of it I took a little of it and sealed it into an envelope. I would take something with me to remember of Sephiroth. The hairs were silky to touch and were glittering golden.

It was time to leave. I had packed all my things. Including my SOLDIER uniform and my sword. The basic hygiene stuff and clothes. I knew that the army would provide the basic uniforms, but I needed something else if I wanted to go below the plate. I also took some money with me. Only 100 gils. It wasn´t much but it would have to be enough. The flight ticket was 70 gils so it would left me 30 gils and by that I could afford to go once below the plate. Then I remembered that I would have salary. _Silly me of thinking money..._

The only problem with this was where could I keep my sword and uniform. Then I thought about Vincent. I needed to meet him soon.

I was in front of the town bar. I went there to meet Vincent before we parted.

"I know that you can find your way to Midgar. Could you keep my sword and uniform for me?" I asked from him.

" Yes Cloud. I will contact you at some time. Preferably, after you have gone through boot camp." He said, took my sword and uniform and we parted ways. I went to the plane bounded for Midgar. I found my seat quickly and put my things under it. There weren´t many with me in the plane. A couple of announcements later we were off.

The trip to Midgar went nicely. Because of Mako and Jenova I didn´t feel any traveling sickness which I was grateful of. It was unfortunate for some of the passengers though, grunts and groans everywhere. I felt bad for the toilet—perhaps it will retire after all the use?

In Midgar, I went straight to the Shin-Ra recruit office and signed the basic papers of me being there and the contract of working with them. After that is two weeks lasting boot camp time. All the recruits were merry fuckers. "Man, it's going to be great!" and all that optimistic bull shit. The next morning however, was a big wake up call to them.

Sergeant Loski was a loud fucker, "_Move_ you green pussies!" and "My husband's has more _cock_ and _balls_ than you pussies!" That was a wakeup call to all the homophobes. "I'll _drill_ you like I _drill_ my husband!" and if someone fell down they got: "If you don't _get up_ I'll _punch_ you in your _cunt_!"

When it came to me getting his vulgar mouth, it was, "You are the _best_ pussy out of _all_ of them! You got _balls_!"

And that compliment went straight to the higher-ups.

I knew that I shouldn´t shine but it was hard. I was ahead of them. In mind, skill and everything else. Including mako. Gast had informed Shin-Ra medics about my situation and I went to the labs to get my injections every week.

The bootcamp was easy piece to me. There were the exams to determine which Cadets we would come. S.P. Cadet was the highest. It was a SOLDIER preparation Cadet. Those were the elite of all Cadets. I made that part easily. I new the Shin-Ra protocol and code throw my heart. Then again I had the muscular to o the physical which I hadn´t last time when I tried this shit. Then to the written exam. It was only the basic code and some historics. Too easy to me, but not to the others.

After boot camp I made it to S. and it was easy to be there. That Saturday when our squad was formed and bunks made, I received a phone call.

"Strife here."

"Cloud, it's me." Of course it's you, right on time, "This line isn't tapped. Turk skills."

"You were always good at it."

"Where's my son?"

"First, are you lying down?" As in lying low.

"This isn't my first mission, cadet."

"I apologize. If you want to peek, the room is 1064 on the 63rd floor. Remember the building?"

"Yes, the M.E.O.H.C. building. And the doctor?" M.E.O.C.H. meant 'Military Executives and Officers Housing Complex.'

"Last I heard he is living in the basement number 5 in the S.M.R. building. You know he's a regular and a night owl. I _know_ you want to be messy, but please don't." the S.M.R. was the acronym for 'Science and Medical Research.'

"... It will be clean, I assure you. Turks know how to make people have _accidents_."

"When do you what to meet up?"

"I want to see my son first before I kill that bastard. I'll call again in a week. If I don't call come to Seventh Heaven in sector 5 the day after at 1 o'clock."

"OK, bye."

"Bye."

After that, everyone thought I had a girlfriend. It was funny actually because Vincent and I had been sex partners before.

xxx

It was our first sword drill time and I was jumping all around because of that. I knew because my light frame they would misjudge my power and skill. Oh well. Even though I had good frame, but I was still little and lightweight. They thought that because I wasn´t part of the group I was somekind of outcast, or nerd or something. I had only one friend.. Reno. It was actually a great fun to see how different and same from the old Reno he was at the same time. I liked him. Now he held some respect to the superiors.. In front of them, but if they were asses then he would talk shit behind their back. It was naïve but what could you do?

"I´m Sergeant Ebony and I will be your instructor the whole time until you are in SOLDIER, or to the Special Ops, or whatever is in your military future. If you miss one class you will be suspended, miss two and you automatically failed; no exceptions unless you have a note from the labs, and good luck with that. You are elite but not that much of an elite. Only Cadet elite I´m afraid. I will call your name and you answer it the same as you were told to do in boot camp." Sergeant Ebony said and he picked up his clipboard.

"Abbot, Oreo!"

"Here sir!"

"Abney, Yves!"

"Here sir!"

"Adams, Gabriel!" No answer, "What a shame!"

"Bailey, Weis!"

"Here sir!"

"Eberly, Dean!"

"Here sir!"

"Lanham, Mathew!" No answer. "Too bad for that fucker."

"Sinclair, Reno!"

"Here sir!"

"Strife... Cloud?"

"Here sir" I answered. His face was all screwed. I knew he was thinking about something nasty to kick me out. But that would not happen. I was too well informed about everything, thanks to my memories.

"Today we will start with sword practice. I will call on someone to demonstrate. Strife!"

"_Well, well, will you allow me to handle him?"_ Angel said inside me. I internally smiled. I willingly relinquished my bodily power to my other Self. My eyes turned a silver-blue and had the same cat-like slit similar to Sephiroth's. I knew that this would be some great fun. Since I had my memories back and Jenova inside of me I ha become somewhat predatory. Not defensive, no one would not dare to come close to me. I didn´t lash around, but people automatic thought so. It was some kind of animal instinct.

"Well, well.. Who´s here? Isn´t it little Strife boy... heh. Back to basics I assume? A lot has been said about you." He said smirking. He said it so quietly that no one else couldn´t hear him. It was fun also. I knew that everybody hated him in the class. And I knew that if Reno would hear, he would immediately tell to the higher ups.

I smirked back cruelly. Angel was thinking the cruelest way to do him harm, as demonstration of our power. It should be fun.

"So you didn´t get into SOLDIER.. How unfortunate. Well let´s get back to basics then. Want to have a sparring match?" I said quietly back to him. Still smiling cruelly.

"But sir, how do you know that Strife can fight? He looks like a girl, so obviously he fights like girl too." Some said smirking. I hadn´t paid any attention to the others. That wasn´t a mistake. I knew I could kill every single person from the room in a heartbeat.

Everybody including Ebony laughed at that.

"I can´t. However never under estimate your opponent. " Sergeant Ebony said still smirking. He was obviously waiting to hand my ass back to me like the old days in Nibelheim. Well that was not happening. I had developed some great advances and I knew that he would be no match to me.

He should heed his words more often. Angel wasn´t an _angel_ in a fight. I knew it. He was more cruel and ruthless and he preferred katana and I preferred Big bad-ass swords. He wanted to humiliate his targets and make the death as painful and cruel as possible. He was more like angel of death than any other thing.

"Strife! Take your favored weapon from the cabin!" Sergeant shouted. I went to the cabin and I was taking a basic practicing sword when he shouted again.

"Not the practicing swords Strife! The next cabin on your left! You idiot!" He shouted.

There were various weapons, Katanas, Wakisasis, Tantos, Busters, basic military swords, everything anyone could have or want. I examined few katanas until I chose black hilted katana. It was the best one of the katanas that were able to me to choose from. It had razor sharp edge and it had a nice range. It was perfectly balanced.

"What the hell Strife? I thought you would choose a buster.. Well easier to me to beat you. 'Cuz I know that you are not familiar with that weapon." Sergeant shouted me again.

I wasn´t good or familiar with the katana. But Angel and Jenova certainly were. Angel complained a little about allowing my hair to be cut, but at least it didn't get in the way. If I wasn't careful, people would assume I was imitating Sephiroth. Unintentionally.

We went to the mats and Angel made couple practice swings with the katana—getting a feel for it. Ebony's basic military sword was already at fighting pose. He had changed his weapon. It was no use using replica if you couldn´t lift the real thing. That was his problem. People would have laughed him out of Shin-Ra if he´d do that. People broke from the line to get a better look, but we couldn´t care less. All that was inside of our minds was the fighting.

We also didn´t notice a few extra people coming in to the gym. Angeal, Genesis, Sephiroth and Zack to be precise. They crept closer but we didn´t pay any mind to them.

I went to Sephiroth's basic stance... and leapt to Ebony.

The fight began!

xxx

_"Pardon me while I burst into flames_

_Pardon me... Pardon me... Pardon me_

_So pardon me while I burst into flames_

_I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games"_

**Sephiroth's PoV**

I watched as the cadet and sergeant charged each other. The Cadet somehow reminded me of someone... Who could he be? It started with a 'C.' Clo? Clow? Clue? Cloud? Yes that's right. Cloud. I heard whispers of an aspiring cadet and recruit named Cloud. Wonder if this is him. Cloud... Strife...? But where do I know him? Then I had a weird sense of déjà vu.

Sitting here, watching him. He seemed... different. A small image of Cloud using a buster sword was prevalent in my mind. Why was this Cloud having a katana? I watched anxiously. The sight of battle always invigorated me. I watched and analyzed closely. I noted whether he would pass to be a SOLDIER. It was _very_ pleasing to see.

Something was amiss. In the back of my mind, a whisper of 'danger!' emitted. It wasn't the danger to myself, but danger to the Sergeant. The more the fight went on, the more the whisper became a shout. Sephiroth was switched on.

In a matter of seconds, two swords flew into the air and away from the holders. However, damage was done, the Sergeant went down with a large cut across the abdomen. Sephiroth blocked Cloud from reaching his sword. Zack took Sergeant away from the mat and went to nurture his wounds like a mother-hen. He didn´t like the Sergeant anymore than any of us. But it was his nature to tend anyone and everything.

Strife was different than in the daydream, his eyes were glittering little bit of silver. Same kind of eyes like mine. _**//I'm in here.// **_There was that voice, it was small and faint. The voice he so remembered and recognized, his mother. It emanated from Cloud. /**/That's right, I'm **_**inside**_**--// **Then, without warning, the connection was severed.

Suspiciously I watched Cloud. Then, something strange happened, his stance changed, his eyes changed to an aqua blue and he came more focused about his situation. I sensed that he didn´t have the slightest of idea of what should he be doing.

Zack was finished curing the Sergeant with the materia and said, "Now cadets. This was the show we had always wanted to give. And with one of our third class SOLDIERs Strife here, everything went well. This is the power of SOLDIER."

"Class Dismissed!" Sergeant Ebony shouted. Everybody left including Ebony. Zack lend him over and had said something to him.

With my hearing I heard, "Where you _kidding_ back there?"

And the reply? "No, I wasn't."

xxx

**Cloud's PoV**

"This wasn´t any kind of _show_. Why are you here?" I said to them, without addressing any of them by their rank. There was just no way that even third class could beat any of these men.

Insurbonation!

"Why are _you_ here?" Sephiroth hissed, "I heard her! She has been silent for weeks now! I heard her just now! She came from _you_!" Sephiroth said to me. Everybody else was looking questionably towards us.

"Would you like to hear her?" I said unison with Angel. My eyes were blue and silver. Telling that we both were present. If they were pink also that would have signed that Jenova was also present, but not in control.

"I don´t think you can do that. You killed her, Angel." Sephiroth said.

"Yes.. We are both here. Actually we all are here. Would you like to see her? The creature that you called Mother so many times? The creature you _believed_ was your Mother?" I said again in perfect unison. That last part had some of Jenova's voice.

It was damnation as well as possession. Abomination!

"What are you talking about? Who are you talking about? Angel? Last time I checked his name was Cloud Strife." Zack and Angeal said in unison. They looked each other and went silent.

"Yes that´s my name." I said. My eyes were blue and my body language was blank. Not predatory, but not defensive either. Then my body language changed to predatory, my eyes became catlike and silvery as did my hair.

"Yes.. And my name is Angel.... Rhapsodus."

Genesis went wide-eyed.

My Cloud-Self came back, I started to feel light headed, too much energy being used at the same time, "Sephiroth, I promise I won't fail you this time. You'll know the truth."

It all faded to nothingness.

xxx

_"So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame_

_Pardon me, pardon me... They'll never be the same_

_Pardon me..._

_Never be the same... yeah."_

**A/N: So here is Chapter 3.. I hope you all like it. The next chap will be up in few weeks.. If I have enough time earlier. So thank you for reading. **

**B/N: Da Beta here! I have finished Beat-izing the chapter with grammar, spelling, and plot. And adding my own character, Sergeant Loski and his vulgar mouth. :P**


	5. Chapter 4 OLD

**A/N: Hellou again. So you are all propably wondering how Sephiroth knows about Angel and Jenova and everything. Well I will explane that to you now. It´s because he sees same kinds of dreams about Clouds life that Cloud. When they are seen in a "dream" they are really there and can control their own actions. Oh also one thing. I will always update on Mondays.. So the update date is always the same. I will inform you if anything changes.**

**Again thank you to all who reviewed and to my lovely beta: Original-Botticella. Thanks :)**

**4. Dream of a dream**

_Slipknot - Circle_

_"Give me the dust of my fathers_

_Stand on the face of the ancients _

_Bear the secret flesh of time itself "_

When I woke up I was in a bed, after the haziness of sleep relinquished I realized I was in a _very_ big and _nice_ bed. The rooms walls were painted red and the floor was black. The sheets I were lying in were the finest Wutaian silk. The bed was _too _nice. I had adjusted to the feeling of cold ground and Cadet beds. But it was nice and cozy. I snuggled a moment.

_This feels nice. Just... where the hell am I? This isn't my bunk or even in the barracks. Not that I'm complaining._

A foul odor went straight to my nose. I smelled myself.

_Damn, what a rude awakening. Talk about B.O. problems. _

I spotted two doors. From the first one was leading to bathroom. Just in time too. I _needed_ a shower. Badly.

I showered swiftly. When I left the shower in nothing but a towel, there was a SOLDIER 3rd class uniform set to the bed.

_Damn, how did that get there? I didn't hear anyone come in._

Then I went exploring the rest of the apartment. When I came to the living room Zack, Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth were there. They were in a middle of having their conversation, but I decided that I should interrupt them.

"Ahem..." It was loud enough for them to hear but not rudely. They all gazed straight towards me.

"Good to see you awake... Cloud?" Angeal greeted me.

"Thank you." And I nodded.

"Sit, I'm sure your hungry. There's plenty. Eat it before the Puppy does—there be none left."

Zack gaffed, "Hey! I'm not _that_ much of a pig! I just like _really_ good food!"

I grinned—so typical of those two. That was a surprise there. I went to sit with them to the sofa. On the coffee table was nicely made meal of small platters of duck, frog legs, fried squid, and piles of steamed vegetables and various sauces to dunk the morsels in—I helped myself gladly. Sephiroth poured a small cup of ice sweet tea and handed it to me—to took that gladly and drank a few generous sips. Delicious!

This is the definite work of Sephiroth's cooking skills. He was always good at preparing adventurous foods. And making them good to eat.

After a few bites...

"Would you like to explain to us what happened ?" Genesis asked to me.

I knew from his body language and tone of voice he was anxious as well and weary. Hell, I would be too in his position. _How do you tell the very people that they are all eventually going to die? How do you tell the one person in the world you loved them and they tried to kill you and their best friend? How do you tell that __best friend that they died defending you? _By being honest, that's how.

I placed by fork down and took a sip of tea, "Yes.. Gladly. Although, I encourage you all to remain silent while I explain. I know with what I have to tell, it will be difficult not to outburst, but please try."

They all nodded in responce. They all wanted to know the answer to the question of Cloud Strife.

I took a deep breath, "I know what is going to happen to every one of you." I turned to Father, "Genesis. Father. Do you remember Nibelheim? The woman you met there? I'm her son. And ´s hard to explane, but I´ll tell you everything witht the best of my abilities. Don´t ask me how I know these things, I just know. You are going to degrade along with Angeal. It won't be a fault of yours, just the man that created you two—Hollander. You won't just degrade in body but in mind—you two will be driven insane. That will be given incentive to Zack to oblige his promise to you Angeal—he killed you to save you from yourself and the rest of humanity. You on the other hand Genesis—you managed to escape—but whenever you did surface, Zack searched for you to complete his promise...

Genesis and Angeal were internally shaking, while Zack was going pale. Sephiroth had a pained look on his face, "However, I know a way to stop that from happening. It can and will be prevented." That calmed Genesis, Angeal and Zack to a degree.

Now to Zack, I turned my gaze to him, my face still blank. "Zack, you have always been Zack. The humanoid Puppy. I was your former best friend—and I still am if you accept me.. You always helped me out when I was a cadet—you embarrassed me more times than I care to count, but you meant well. You always carried a photo of all of us in your left boot—including your girlfriend Aerith—who is a Cetra. You always wanted to die protecting someone. Well, it came true, you died protecting me after we had escaped from Hojos lab.. Even though your life was cut short."

Then I turned to Sephiroth, the man I loved, "You Sephiroth, had a similar fate to Genesis and Angeal. Although, in part, it wasn't your doing. You were taught from an early age that your mother was Jenova. That was your belief. You went on a mission in Nibelheim with myself and Zack. While there, you discovered books that centered on Jenova and your creation. The knowledge drove you insane—you believed you were a monster like Jenova, and you fallowed her orders. It tortured me to know that I couldn't save you from yourself. You burned the village, stabbed myself and Zack, and indirectly caused us to be Hojo's new lab rats. You also indirectly caused Zack's death when we escaped. From that moment on, it wasn't you in your own body, but Jenovas mind controlling it.. From that moment on, I was the only one that could kill you. I killed you three times.." _..And every single time broke my heart little more, until I couldn´t take it anymore and I killed my self. _I continued the sentence in my mind.

"However, there is someone I want you to meet—he too, wants to meet you. He can tell you all about your creation and why Hojo wanted you to believe you were Jenova's son. And of course everything about your _real _mother Lucretia."

I resumed eating.

Genesis was looking sick and sad, Sephiroth was looking like he usual looked, calm, composed—although he could be having a storm of emotions underneath. Zack was looking shaky. Angeal was just staring at me like I had suddenly grown extra head.

"How... how do you know?" Zack asked.

"I asked you to not to ask.. But what has happened is happened.. What's happened once can be prevented when it comes back. I've been regaining my past life's memories, and history is repeating itself—so I have to stop it. For everyone's sake, I have to. The planet has given me a mission and I have to obey her wishes." I solemnly said.

"Has... anything... changed?"

"Only what I am causing to change."

"And that includes?"

"Everyone in this room won't suffer from folly fates."

The room was silent for a moment.

"Well any more questions? No? Good. I want to know what´s this SOLDIER 3rd crap. Why do I have it Sephiroth!?"

They were just looking at me like dumbfound idiots. I don´t think anyone had ever gave Sephiroth orders like superior. Which I certainly wasn't compared to him. I think that the order came from the influence of Angel and Jenova. They were used to be superior compared to everybody else. Then Jenova decided to interfere, and I let her. My hair was silvery again and my eyes were pinkish.

_**"//Explain it now!//" **_She shouted from my mouth. Jenova resided for the moment. They were all taken aback by the force of the voice and the commanding edge of it. Sephiroth opened his mouth and started slowly.

"It was the only way we could have explained it. The cover story for it is that you were in Wutai and you gained your rank in there. But from here on I can´t just simply promote you as I want have to take the exams or go to Wutai-This time for real. He told me.

My cell phone ringed.. **VINCENT VALENTINE **

"I have to take this.. I´m sorry." I said and answered to it.

"Speak." I said.

"Come with him to the place.. And take the others with you." Vincent said.

"Yes I will. Could you bring my stuff to me? I need them badly, I got a raise to my salary.." I said.

"Yes and have a good night with it. I know how much you like it." He said.

"Yes I do.. How´s your girlfriend?" I asked

"Taken care of. I proposed her. She´s moving away.. But accepted my feelings and the ring." Vincent said to me.

"I`m glad everything worked between you two.. Did you say my hellos to her as well?" I asked.

"Yes I did. I have to leave. See you soon."

"Bye"

I went back to eating and they all looked me again.

"Who was that?" Zack asked from me.

"Old friend. He wants to meet you all. Especially Sephiroth. Before we leave I could take care of your little problem. Angeal, Father come with me." I said. I had finished eating and went back to the bedroom. If I remembered correctly Sephiroth should keep syringes and needles in the top drawer of his night stand. I took one of them and pinned it straight to my heart.

As they all watched in shock I filled the syringes with my blood. It wasn´t normal looking. It held slightly greenish and orange tint. I took the syringe off and pinned a new one in. It was tiring and it hurt. But I was lucky with all the Jenova and Mako and G-cells inside of me it didn´t pose a threat.

I placed the syringes to the nightstand and went to my bag. I took another syringe, filled it with mako and shot.

"What are you doing?!" Angeal's voice was hard.

"I´m shooting myself with mako. What I did was very tiring and I´m still weak from that little display from earlier also I haven´t have mako in almost a week so I have to take my dosages often. That´s why. Take those two syringes, and shot yourselves with one—it'll reverse the degrading. Now excuse me, its starting to kick in and I´m not feeling too hot." I said with pain-laced voice.

I sat down when the shaking and muscle twitching started. My arms lost their power as did my legs. The mako had been laced with some other substance.. I crawled to my back and started to examine the bottle. Shit! Not normal mako to me. Full of everything else. Mako, J-cells, G-cells, S-cells, Some other substances I didn´t recognize.. _Shit_..

I took my phone and swiftly called to Vincent.

"Seph's apartment.. poison.. Cells...Mako...laced" I whispered weakly. All the others had left they knew how it was with mako. They thought that I would come to them when I was ready. It was kind of humiliating, To feel weak and powerful at the same time. It was horrid.

So much shame... My world once again went black.. _I hope I don´t wake up in an examination table._

xxx

_"Follow me (Follow me) _

_I've come so far I'm behind again _

_Follow me (Follow me) _

_I wish so hard I'm there again _

_Follow me (Follow me) _

_Follow me (Follow me) _

_All that I wanted were things I had before _

_All that I needed, I never needed more _

_All of my questions are answers to my sins _

_And all of my endings are waiting to begin" _

**Vincent's PoV**

"Seph's apartment.. poison.. Cells...Mako...laced" I heard Cloud saying.

_Why everything shitty always happens to him? Something which I´ll never understand_. I started moving. I needed to get to him quickly. I wasn´t sure that he could survive the cocktail. No matter how much Jenova he had with in him. I managed to get to Sephiroth's apartment in a matter of minutes. I went throw the window. I bet they all heard me, but I didn´t care. I saw Cloud lying in the floor, open phone, and bottle of mako beside him. I was just in the middle of examining him when they all busted in to the room.

"What´s happening here? Who are you?!" Zack shouted at me his buster in his hand.

"I´m the friend he talked about. Vincent is the name. The mako he shot is laced with something. He shouldn´t have used it. I´m fearing this has something to do with Hojo and Gast. Gast gave him that bottle of mako." I explained at the same time that I examined him. I must have looked like a vamoire or something. I didn´t notice no one else other than Cloud at the time. Sephiroth came beside me. He gave me proper mako and hot and cold towels. He knew better than anyone else did on how to treat these kinds of things, because Hojos experiments.

"I was told to meet you. Cloud said that you would be a person that I would most likely would want to meet." Sephiroth said silently. "I remember you now. All the dreams. All the suffering. All the lies. It´s nice to see you again. Vincent." Sephiroth said to me sadly as he looked Cloud. I looked at my son, _It is nice to see you again son. You've grown._

"We have done everything we can for now. Let´s go and have tea." Genesis said. Zack watched him strangely. Genesis posessed the calm of seeing to many wounded at the war and so he could lock his emotions far back of his mind and could do the right thing without emotions getting involved.

xxx

_"I know the way, but I falter _

_I can't be afraid of my patience _

_There's a sacred place where Razel keeps safe "_

**Cloud's PoV**

Cloud was having another nightmare. Nightmare of Sephiroth.

"You are nothing, A mere bug. I can´t believe you can managed to get into SOLDIER. A third class, but still a pestilent bug—and not even amusing." Sephiroth ridiculed.

"Please stop Sephiroth! Can´t you see I love you? What have I done to make you hate me?"

"You betrayed me. You sold me out to Hojo. You should have gone there. But instead you sent me! What the hell were you thinking?!" His lip curled and thinned in disgust.

"But I didn´t!" I pleaded, "Sephiroth I didn´t! I went there. I suffered in there!—at that place! I was there for days! Laying in that mako tank! Suffering cuts and injections every hour! Every second I was in pain!" Cloud cried streams of tears, "And still I did it for joy!" Cloud announced, "Because I knew that you would not be torn and experimented there! That I would be there suffering instead of you!"

Please, just understand.

"You are lying to me again Cloud! Still… Even if you weren´t... I would kill you still. For making me suffer!" Sephiroth yelled and shoved Masasume through Clouds abdomen.

All the while Cloud accepted it. He always did it for Sephiroth.

_A flash..._

Cloud woke up panting. He tried to lift his arm but it couldn't move at all. His vision was blurry but he heard voice murmuring near him.

"Subject-C has been seeing nightmares. Concept unknown. Subject- C has a high reaction to mako and J-Cells. An increasing of both is favorable. The use of a 20 percent Red J Cell solution is favorable also. If subject's strength is strong enough, subject is to be a candidate for a clone. The use of a 75 percent solution of S-Cells are permitted. Subject-C's condition is good. Continuation is permitted." Hojo muttered himself.

Panic rouse in Clouds mind. What the hell?? How did I end up here? Answer to the unspoken question became faster than he was waiting.

"Subject has some memory loss because of the combination of J-Cells and S-Cells. Subject is ready to go back to work in a week." His voice billowed, "Willow, Andrews! Take SOLDIER Strife back to his room."

"Yes Sir." Was the droned response.

Cloud could feel himself being lifted and carried. On the way to his room they crossed paths with Sephiroth. But Cloud didn´t realize this, being in the world of pain and delirium.

"Where are you coming from and where are you going to take SOLDIER Strife?" Sephiroth asked. Suspicion in his eyes.

The guards didn't even blink, "We were assigned by Hojo to take SOLDIER Cloud Strife back to his room, sir" Willow answered.

His hand twitched, "No you are not. Give him to me. And I want a full report why and how long has he been with Hojo. He messes with my SOLDIERs he messes with me."

"We are sorry sir but we can´t do that, sir."

Wrong answer.

"And why is that?" no SOLDIER or guard would refuse him, "Why are you refusing to report to your commanding officer?" Sephiroth asked tone of voice that subliminally said, `If your excuse is poor I´m taking action and that will not be pleasant.´

"We are under Professor Hojo's Authority, and we answer directly to him, sir." One of the guards flinched if the answer wasn't Sephiroth's standards.

Fate was on their side for the moment.

"I see, however, since I was not notified that some of my guards were transferring, you two are still under my control. Disciplinary action will be taken if Strife is not returned to me."

Fate was fickle.

The guards saluted and gave Strife up.

"Thank you gentlemen." He held Strife in his arms, "Is there anything about his condition that I should know?"

"We were told to not give him any potions and healing materia. Healing can´t be used on him without Professor Hojo's knowledge, sir."

"Is that so... Very well, your dismissed."

"Sir, yes sir" Willow and Andrews said and turned to walk back to the labs.

"What have you get into now Cloud?" Sephiroth muttered himself.

_The agonized pain with spotty flashes..._

Cloud woke up to the pain. Like roaches, the pain was everywhere. He screamed. He wailed. He cried. He took hold of his head and screamed. He yelled in his pain. Sephiroth woke up to the murderous screams. He observed himself. Did I scream? Until another scream broke the silent night. _Cloud! Shit! _

He rose from his bead quickly like the hounds of hell were after him. He came to the guest room door and quickly opened it. It was Cloud. He was holding his head and screaming in obvious pain. His body covered in a sheen of sweat and cold shivering. The General quickly hugged the shivering SOLDIER third class. He held Cloud in his arms and whispered comforting things to his ear. Not even that broke Cloud's pain and trauma.

"I saw you dead... Oh please Seph make the pain go away. Please Seph.. PLEASE!!!" Cloud pleaded.

"I´m sorry Cloud but that is something I cannot do." Even though he desperately wanted to.

Cloud stopped his screaming and started to sob. The tears traveled in the surface of his cheeks. Brilliant blue eyes watched the green ones and shoved only pain.

"Are you mad at me Seph?"

"No... . After I saw you in such state as you were yesterday... I couldn't be." He had to know why he was with Hojo, "Why were you in Hojo's loving care anyway?"

Cloud continued to shiver violently and closed his eyes, "I heard from Reno that Hojo needed to test some experimental drugs with a SOLDIER and considered you. I didn't want you to go. So I made my way to the labs and said that I would take your place instead. They were satisfied that they had someone to test on... And now Hojo wouldn't let me go because of my reaction to mako and some experimental cells."

Sephiroth scrunched his face with emotional pain.

"Why did you do that Cloud?" he hoarsely whispered, "You know that I can manage that easily and now you share the same fate that I do... Why Cloud?"

Cloud gulped loudly, "I was thinking that if Hojo had something else other than you, then maybe he would stop experimenting on you... It pains me every time you come back from having your monthly appointments with him. I was hoping you could live free, that I could take your place at Hojo's little lab rat."

Sephiroth started to shake.

"You idiot... Hojo is too controlling to let me go." That extinguished the hope in Cloud that he could live free, "Well at least we are together on this. Is the pain too much?"

At least they won't be alone.

"Yeah.. I´m.. going to black out soon if... I can´t get anythin' for the... pain."

"I can´t do nothing. I´m sorry. But.. At least you don´t have to go to the lab until next week maybe. It depends about Hojo. But I´m sure we are going to be there at the same time."

"That's little comforting. I think I..Want.. to..."

Cloud blacked out against the Generals chest.

"What am I going to do with you my love?"

xxx

This time I woke up I was back in the familiar room. I felt a little bit hungry._ What´s real and what´s not real? _I saw the finished injections on the nightstand._ I guess this is what´s real. _I went to the living room. Vincent and Sephiroth were talking about something. Probably catching up. Zack was sleeping, but even then his face was full of worry. I went to him and silently touched his face and whispered: "I´m here Zack. Nothing to worry about."

His face relaxed. Genesis and Angeal were in the kitchen. I noticed they had rings. _Told you so! _I went to them and silently took a seat beside them.

"Have you taken care of the degrading?"

"We were waiting for you to wake, since we don't know exactly what we are in for."

I smiled, "Alright. I´m happy that I did them before I took the laced mako. I know that Gast guilty to this. I should have guessed." I said coldly.

"More than likely Hojo put him up to it." Said Sephiroth.

"True."

"Yes.. Let´s go to the bedroom to take care of it. We were all very worried about you. Thank Ifrit that Vincent came and Sephiroth was here. By the way. Your quarters are ready for you to move in. Vincent brought your sword.. And Sephiroth gave you new Katana.. Well, not for you but to Angel. I know you can´t use it." Angeal said.

"Yes that´s true.. _When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end_

_The goddess descends from the sky_

_Wings of light and dark spread afar_

_She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting_." Genesis said. He was mad about LOVELESS. It wasn´t nothing new. I knew LOVELESS by heart too. I could quote it anywhere and anytime.

"LOVELESS act one." I said and leaded them to the bedroom.

I took the syringes and they both silently compiled and gave their arms to me. I first shot the cocktail to Angeal. His face twisted and he shake a little. But he had a very nice tolerance to it. So I wasn´t worried. His body started to repair itself nicely.

"The effects are immediate. The repair takes about two weeks. You feel better soon." I said reassuringly.

Next I shot Genesis. The effect was the same. Only faster. We hadn´t had the time to catch up. And we didn´t have the need to. We both knew that it was meaningless. He would be there to protect me and help me if I needed. I would be there to help and support him. Everything was going to be okay.

"Would you show me my room?" I asked. I wasn´t familiar about what kind of rooms SOLDIER 3rds had and where they were.

xxx

They all came along, except Zack who we decided to sleep more. We came to my door. There was a number on the door: 111 and plate that had my name and rank engraved: Second Lieutenant, SOLDIER 3rd Class Cloud Strife.

" Second Lieutenant is usually the most junior grade of a commissioned officer. Other way you would been with one other SOLDIER 3rd class, but you are an officer so I decided to give you a proper apartment. " Sephiroth explained.

"I´ve been promoted to Second Lieutenant?? Holy crap!" My childlessness came forth. It felt like my dream came true. I finally felt like 14 year old. Even though I didn´t look like one.

_Things are going to be different this time._

"You are in basic procedure in a week. You have to teach the cadets and lead your own unit. You will be given missions to the slums to deal with your group whatever there is. You can handpick them without any problems. And you are going to Wutai with Genesis little before the SEEs." Sephiroth said.

_Talk about a busy bee... I can't complain though. This is what I wanted my whole existence._

"Oh... So can we go in now?" I asked. Sephiroth just gave me two cards to my apartment.

"Any ranking above you can enter your apartment. The second card key is a spare." He silently explained.

I blushed lightly. My feelings to him were always present—or rather, making themselves known.I gave the other card to Vincent who silently thanked me. I opened the door...

"This is unbelievable!" I said happily. It was most emotion I had displayed after I came here.

I guessed that Sephiroth had painted and decorated my apartment—I always suspected that if he wasn't an army general he would be a interior decorator. And yes, an apartment, not just some dirty room with four other gross boys. A large, brown, leather sofa, a glass coffee table, a big 50 inch TV in the living room. The walls were painted a grayish light blue—ummm... misty. The kitchen was grey painted also and all the appliances in it was black and silvery—contemporary. There was a small, oak colored dining table for 4 between the living room and kitchen. My bedroom was exactly the same as Sephiroth's. except for the color of the bed spread—dark blue. There was a small office, with a _functional_ computer!—with a guest bed.

It was _fabulous_! The whole apartment screamed 'Sephiroth's fashionable functional apartment design!'

"Thank you Sephiroth." I said. I was smiling. They all saw it.

"You are very welcome. We should go to practice. Also your classes are starting in few hours. We should probably inform you how to teach the cadets also and the curriculum." Sephiroth said.

"No need. I was the leader for AVALANCHE back in the day, so it´s not a problem. What should I teach to them?" I asked as we walked away from the apartment.

"Combat, shooting, sword fighting, martial arts. Everything. You are now transferred to Ebony's class. They will know you and you will be their whole life. As their leader they will trust you. And don't be afraid if they get out of line, simply discipline them." Angeal cut in.

"Ok.. When do I start training them?" I asked.

"Tomorrow at 0600 hours."

"What about my group for missions."

"Well basically, the cadets are your group. You can pick which ones go on which missions and such. You can also recommend a cadet to Special Ops or SOLDIER. Just speak to Tseng or Sephiroth about it." Genesis said.

"Yeah I will.. Well see you all. Have a nice time practicing." I said.

Sephiroth was the only one left in the room.

"What is it Sephiroth?"

"I need you to be honest with me. My past life's memories are hazy, and I need you to confirm them. I didn't want to bring it up since it is personal."

"Alright."

"When you were describing my past fate, you said 'It tortured me to know that I couldn't save you from yourself.' What... what were you implying?"

My face turned somber, "We were together." That was a bomb-shell to Sephiroth. "It tortured me more than Hojo's experiments that my love for you wasn't enough to keep you."

Sephiroth turned away. His face hard and sullen. Cloud could see that many thoughts were racing through his head.

"I blamed myself that I didn't love you hard enough."

"Stop it!" Cloud faced him again, "You did love me hard enough! No one loved me _half_ as much as you! I just!—I _just_! I just wish I could tell you _why_ I did it! I forgot the reason _why_!"

I cupped his face, "Sephiroth, I never blamed you. Not once. You don't have to ask for forgiveness—I love you too much to hate you. And besides there´s nothing to forgive."

_"Follow me (Follow me) _

_I've seen so much I'm blind again _

_Follow me (Follow me) _

_I feel so bad I'm alive again _

_Follow me (Follow me) _

_All that I wanted the dreams I had before _

_All that I needed I never needed more _

_All of my questions are answers to my sins _

_And all of my endings are waiting to begin"_

**A/N: So here it is. I hope you will like this one also. It came up faster than I thought :S I usually don´t write this fast. Next chap will be up.. In a week or so. Thanks for reading. :)**

**B/N: I turned Sephiroth into an adventurous eater. If you have never tried fried squid you are missing out!! It brings back childhood memories—not the squid part, but what the squid tastes and texturally is like to me. It looks like Cloud is quoting Aerith! (er, sort of)**


	6. Chapter 5 OLD

**A/N: Hi all! So here´s Chapter 5 to you all. I hope that you like it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and of course again to my beta: Original-Botticella. So about speaking:**

Anyone speaking normally

_Clouds (or other PoV) thoughts (maybe flashback)_

_**//Jenova speaking//**_

**Angel speaking/Chaos speaking**

**Planet speaking**

**B/N: Beta here! I just wanted a warning that there is **_**not**_** a lemon, but some nice fluffy, comical lime instead. Think of it as a precursor for events ahead. Seph is **_**sooo**_** naughty!!**

**5. Normal?**

_30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill_

_"What if I wanted to break_

_Laugh it all off in your face_

_What would you do?_

_What if I fell to the floor_

_Couldn't take all this anymore_

_What would you do, do, do?"_

I cupped his face, "Sephiroth, I never blamed you. Not once. You don't have to ask for forgiveness—I love you too much to hate you. And besides there´s nothing to forgive."

I slowly reached to him. I looked at his full and masculine lips. I closed my eyes and kissed him—as if his mouth was bruised. He kissed me back, but with unpainful zest. Immediately, he began taking control of our kiss, which I gladly granted—I could never get enough of his warm mouth against mine.

His tongue swept along my lower lip and teeth. Begging for entrance that I gladly allowed. He explored every single spot in my mouth and our tongues danced like there wasn´t a tomorrow. Our moans traveled in each other's body. The sound and vibration caught and released back.

Our arms encircled around the other, as if to mold our skin together. Our beings drummed to one simultaneous beat. That beat drummed in our hearts and our loins. The musk from our scents became a pungent sensory essence. Never did I believe I would have this intimacy again. Especially, with the only soul I _ever_ loved.

A few minutes later we had to stop and stop for air. We inhaled our scents in the air. We were both blushed and panted. Even with SOLDIER stamina. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and buried his faced against my neck—placing soft butterfly kisses there.

"Would you like to continue what we once were? I don't _want_ to fight you." He breathed into my ear.

The act itself flamed my heart, but the question rang in my head. I too, buried my face into my love's neck, "I don´t know. The memories are here—there so real. But, not yet. Their's so many things to do. Let's be _man_friends for the time being. But don't forget that you'll _always_ be the 'Love of my Soul.'" I breathlessly said. By the sound of his voice, I knew he was disappointed. But, he knew I was his 'Love of his Soul.' And that will never change. However, he knew in his heart that if we were to go to that level too soon, and if _that scenario_ happened again, it would devastate me. It would devastate our relationship to our Souls.

He wanted to prevent me from feeling like a failure to him at the end of the day.

"Yes, of course. We well move at that phase when you are ready. I can be patient." He said and pulled me into an embrace. It felt wonderful to have Sephiroth back in my arms and his arms around me.

It felt so secure, that I believed we will be OK at the end of the day. And everything that will happen in-between.

"I think I should go to bed now. I have classes to teach tomorrow and some sparring to do. I promised my friend Reno a duel." I said smiling.

"Yes, Cloud. Will I see you tomorrow evening? For a... get-together and share time? At my apartment? It's on me." He asked smiling as well.

That was typical of Sephiroth. A "get-together" at his apartment. He always thought, "dating" was a juvenile term for "teen-social disaster." To him, "get-together" and "sharing time" is a more mature term for adult "dating." He also preferred the term "manfriends" instead of "boyfriends" simply because we both weren't _boys_. We were rock solid _men_! Even though I _technically_ wasn't a man yet. Although after a chat with Reno Shin-Ra would have a 22 years old SOLDIER 3rd class in service. And basically after my transferings I was looking like a 20 year old. Not like 14 as my age said. I needed to make a new identification card to myself. And I needed to visit in Nibelheim. I wanted to see my mother.

"Yes. We will see each other then." I said

We briefly kissed, a testimony to what would come, and we parted ways.

xxx

Teaching Cadets was a lot harder than the instructors admitted. I had to discipline five rowdy, boys. Two of which had to be sent to the higher-up for further action. They all seemed weary of me actually being a SOLDIER that was "undercover" the whole time. However, I told them that if they had a problem with that, they can take their complaints to Sephiroth. That shut them up. They might not be that much afraid of me, but they shit their pants at the thought of _complaining_ to Sephiroth—the 'No Bull-Shit General.'

It was weird somehow when everybody addressed me by my rank. I was lightweight and small for a SOLDIER and still they didn´t make any fuss about me. They had heard I had survived in Wutai so it gave me some respect. Also me being friends with Zack, Angeal, Genesis and most of all Sephiroth surely helped about it. They hadn´t see me fighting except at the "demonstration" but soon even that would be out of way.

A mission was coming up, and I had to prep. I called three Cadets to meet in a Conference Room to inform them. When I found the room, I was already tired. Barely even noon and I was tired. I went in without knocking. I found Reno lying on one of the lounge chairs—ready to fall asleep. I went to him and said—well enough to rouse him:

"Wake up Sinclair!"

"Bah!" she shrieked. The three of them saluted.

"At ease. We are going mission in to the slums in few days. I'm leaving you three in charge of sending out the information to the other Cadets in the class. I´ll give you the details immediately after I find them from my piles of paperwork." I said. "Sinclair, I am recommending you to the Turks after this mission. If you accept."

"Sir! That would be no problem yo!"

"Then you are going to have to prove to me that you do what to go to the Turks. That goes for the rest of the Cadets. Inform the Cadets of that as well. If they want recommendations, they have to prove themselves to me and the respective organization. Understood?"

"Sir, yes sir!" they saluted in unison.

"Good, dismissed. Sinclair wait."

"Yes sir?"

"I'm afraid I wont be able to make our meeting in the gym today. My schedule does not overlap yours for that to happen. Perhaps some other time. But there´s something else I need to ask from you. I know you can hack to Shin-Ra files, correct?"

"Oh. Well, sir, some other time yo. And of course I can do that. Why, yo?"

"As you very well know, I´m not some unercover SOLDIER. I came in Shin-Ra at the same time as you did. Sephiroth has changed the Wutai thing and all, but false identification is going to be problem. I need you to correct my birthday. I am 22 years old. Not 14 Thank you. So I need you to change that so I can get a real identification that woun´t couse suspection."

"Okay I can do that.. But what will I get from it?"

"Do you have any idea of what is a nightstick?"

"Actually yes. They are very hard to come by, and I have wanted one my whole life, yo."

I took a box from my bag and handed it to Reno. It had a shining new Nightstick in it, It had a carving also: _To Reno from C._It was handmade from Damascus steel with three materia slots that contained electrisity, heal and Esuna. It was very expensive. I was lucky that I had had a healthy raise to my salary, but it had still costed a lot.

"Thanks! I´ll take care of it in a heart beat and I don´t even remember the thing" Reno said smiling as he was fussing over the Nightstick.

"Good.."

"Thank you, sir!"

"You may leave."

"Sir!" he saluted and left as well.

Now, it was paperwork time. Classes in the mornings. Paperwork in the afternoon. Un-fucking-believable. At least I had a two hour break in the afternoon for lunch and possible practice. And "work" ends around six.

Even 3rd class had huge amounts of paperwork, at least the officer class and I was newly promoted Second Lieutenant. As a Cadet in my past life, I never saw what was so disgusting about paperwork, until they gave it to me. Such as the life of things.

On my way to the mess hall, I was given a message from Zack saying that my paperwork was waiting me in my apartment. They didn´t want to grant me my own office space, yet—too young and inexperienced to be granted on. I had too little time as it was, so I couldn´t run between spaces all the food in the mess hall for the "Junior Commanders" and "Junior Officers" were better than what they fed Privates and Cadets, but it still wasn´t especially good. I took my food from the rack and went to the far end table. I saw Tseng there. Eating alone as usual.

"Hello Commander. May I sit here?" I asked carefully.

"Yes you may Second Lieutenant." He said and continued eating in silence.

"I want to recommend one of my Cadets to the Turks. Reno Sinclair that is. He has everything needed to be one of the best. And most of all he has the passion." I said to him. I assumed he knew about my case. Nothing could be hided from the Turks.

"Yes, I have heard him, we were already studying him, but with your recommendation I can arrange the test in a matter of weeks. I send you the papers when I´m ready." He said again. _Shiiiiiit_. More paperwork. I´m already drowning on it. And I haven't _seen_ it yet!

"Yes. Thank you Commander. You'll receive it by the end of the month after a mission in the slums. A Test-Run if you will." I said.

"That's thoughtful of you."

"I like to be through in who I recommend."

"A good quality."

End of conversation.

We continued to eat in silence until he left.

**Well, well... He´s an interesting person. A Turk you say? **

_Yeah. I think we should go to practice. My lesson starts soon. _

**Which one of us will fight? Me or you? **

_Don´t know.. Wanna draw a stick? _

**Haha. Nah. You fight. I´m tired. If you need me, call. **

_Yes.. Of course. _

xxx

_"Come break me down_

_Marry me, bury me_

_I am finished with you"_

I came to the gym with both of my weapons with me. I needed all the trust I could get and beating other SOLDIERs helped to increase that very nicely. Sergeant Ebony was there as were some Privates and Cadets. They all just saluted me, I waved at them dismissingly. I was getting used to the feeling of being in upper hand and all superior. I went straight to the sparring mats and left my new katana to the rack. Some 3rd and 2nd class SOLDIERs were watching me. Until one of them approached me.

"Hi there, my name´s Kunsel, SOLDIER 2nd class. I heard you are Zack's friend. Care to spar?" He asked from me.

"Yeah, I am and I was just looking for someone for a good spar." I said to him.

I could beat Sephiroth so many times, so Kunsel couldn´t be a problem. But I couldn´t show too much talent either. We went to the mat and took our starting positions. We slowly started circling each other. I noticed that people were coming to watch us sparring. This can go badly. Or, it can boost the confidence of others that I am capable.

I didn´t want to harm any outsiders. Even as this was just a friendly sparring match we could lose our control. Me more than him. If I went berserk I didn´t think that there were anyone that could have stopped me. I had to hold myself back. As usual. I observed flaws in his shielding and attacks. There were none present. It could go differently though. I was just starting to strategize when he attacked up way sweep to my head. I swiftly rolled out of its way and went all in for defensive. I could continue like this for days.

I thought of letting Kunsel to tire himself up. Eventually he did and in that exact moment I attacked. I went for his legs and he jumped over me. In that moment I kicked him and he flew away from the mat. I just stood there. Something was wrong. All the people shouting around me. I heard them but I didn´t hear them. I knew they were shouting by the shape of their mouths and the 'hoorah' motion.

It was something else...

**Shield your mind!!!**

_Wha?... Aarrrgggggghhh!!!!_

The pain was intense. If Angel hadn´t protected his side of our mind I would have most likely died. Angel was Jenova's and I were Gaia's fighter. We all were kept together, they all helped me to achieve my goal. The only thing was that when Jenova and Gaia were fighting over me I was nearly dying from the intensity of it.

Gaia solely wanted possession of me. Any diluteness in my being and she has fits. From time to time.

I started running. Not to my own quarters... To Sephiroth's. I´m sure he heard Jenova—as long as I was mentally distracted she can sneak through. And if Zack was with Aerith he knew also. They could warn the others. They knew that I was coming. I reached his apartment in few minutes. The pain was getting stronger if that was even possible. The door opened and I fell straight into Sephiroth's arms. He placed me to the sofa. Zack, Angeal, Vincent and Genesis quickly came to the apartment also.

"What´s wrong?" Angeal asked. Zack looked like he was in a verge of tears.

"Gaia and Jenova are fighting _inside_ of his mind! Their fighting for _possession_!" Sephiroth informed them.

I panted like a out-of-breath dog on the sofa. I was hot and cold at the same time. Pain and bliss cursed throw my body. Then the darkness came...

"Cloud!!!"

xxx

_"What if I wanted to fight_

_Beg for the rest of my life_

_What would you do?"_

I was back in the flower field. Aerith wasn´t there. There was something else. The earth was grey and it grumbled. Suddenly Angel was standing beside me.

"It´s strange. They don´t want to stop. I don´t know why they are fighting anymore. Neither one can possess you fully." Angel told me.

Then it came back. I was on my knees. Even in here the pain was intense. Shout rang in my ears.

_"Cloud? Cloud! Are you alright?"_

_"Of course his not alright!!"_

_"Do something!"_

_"I can´t!"_

"STOP IT!!!!!!" I cried loudly.

Suddenly in the field were two other people as well. Jenova I could recognize easily but Gaia.. She was the most beautiful creature ever. Some scars were visible on her skin, but still she was beautiful and young. She was a perfect representation of the earth.

The perfect bronze colored skin. Grass colored eyes and hair. Her eyes were large and had such intensity they could look through you. The hair itself was wild and tick like bear fur. In her hair were bits of leaves—some old and brown, some flourished green. Several vines wrapped around her arms and legs. She wore a light brown leathery dress. Around her was a belt made from teeth from several carnivorous animals, bright beads, and shells as decoration. Her small feet had no shoes, but there were an ankle bracelet with shells on them and when she walked, they make a _clink-clink_ sound. On her back was a bow and a bag of arrows. On her hip was a dagger. They were simple and functional with a deadly purpose.

"What are you fighting over?" Angel asked from them as he supported me.

"I want Cloud in relationship with Sephiroth. It would do him some good. I truly think so." Jenova said.

I didn´t knew her motives. It was strange. Normally she would be like poison, but I couldn´t sense any bad intentions at her. Why would she be on my side?

Jenova then sneered, "Gaia says that her _Protector_ should be alone. That is for the best interest of everyone that he´s alone—leading a solitary life of duty solely to her. He needs to act clearly, and the disturbances of human emotion clouds his judgment. Ha! A more _binding_ aspect than the Cetra I say! She´s childish _and_ naive. _Jealous_ of course too. She wants you Cloud all to herself. She wants you to be her right hand and muscle. She doesn´t _understand_ human emotions—even though she has had eternity and past millennia's to figure that. First she made you two fall in love and now she doesn´t want that you two are together."

"I _want_ to be with Sephiroth, _aarrggggghhh_-!" I screamed again.

The vines around her wrist became a short whip with sharp thorns. The sharp _pop _resonated across my face—blood poured freely. The planet was punishing me from my lack of care towards her.

"_I_ have given you everything! _I_ give you strength! _I_ gave you that burning love!—_Your_ passionate being! _I_ gave you superior intelligence! _I_ allowed you to be born again! How _dare_ you _defy_ me!"

"To hell with you! And to hell with Jenova and Angel! I have withstood pain before, I can stand it now!" I heard myself shouting.

The world turned red.

"You will be punished." Resonated through my head.

Then the flower field crumbled and I was back in Sephiroth's sofa, screaming my head off. I don't know how long the pain went on. But by the end, I was having convulsions. My eyes were blood-shot. My ears were ringing. My nose bled. I couldn't control my bladder. My throat and lungs were on fire because of the screaming. I had bruises from the convulsions. My muscles burned from the lactic acid build up.

When the pain subsided along with some self control, I couldn't move. My mind was in shock from the sensory overload. All I could do was breath. Sephiroth quietly cleaned me and switched my clothes to clean ones as I was out.

xxx

_"You say you wanted more_

_What are you waiting for?_

_I'm not running from you_

_Come break me down_

_Marry me, bury me_

_I am finished with you"_

"The planet doesn´t want me and Seph to be together." I panted, my voice was hoarse from the screaming and it cracked here and there, "It brings me great pain to feel Jenova and Gaia fighting. I already feel Gaia's pain. The Cetra just feeds me World's pain. Like I´m some shithole. It makes me break. But this time, it was Gaia producing the pain because I wouldn't side with her. She was punishing me." I said between sobs. I was crying now. The pain was back. Shin-Ra and the people using mako. That was the current reason for the pain right now—not because of Gaia's punishment.

I cleared my throat, "Jenova actually protected me. She was on my side. As was Angel. I don´t know if I can be _me_ anymore. If the pain comes too intense I have to give in to Angel." I said again. I was in Sephiroth's warm embrace. He murmured some soothing words to my ear and made soothing motions.

"Are they shielding your mind?" Vincent silently asked. He accepted the situation and I knew that he would be here to help me all that I needed.

"Yes for now. As you can see from my eyes. They are all present. The planet, Jenova, Angel and me. They just don´t have the power to _do_. They can only watch and react. They don´t want to tire me too much. Gaia was so _angry_ at me." I explained. I wasn´t sobbing anymore thanks to Sephiroth.

"Well, if you need sort of vacation, could Angel play your part?" Angeal asked. My eyes turned silvery.

"Yes... I can. He´s already very tired. But he will keep up extremely well if he has to. There are no restrictions to his powers. The only thing I don´t get is that what Jenova is after. She doesn´t get any advantage of this union between Cloud and Sephiroth. So what could she be after?" Angel asked from us all.

"That´s one enigma of it all." Genesis said. Then he quickly took LOVELESS out of his pocket and started reading.

"What did you figured out my love?" Angeal asked from him.

_"As the war sends the world hurtling towards destruction_

"_The prisoner departs with his newfound love_

"_And embarks on a new journey_

"_He is guided by hope that the gift will bring bliss_

"_And the oath that he swore to his friends_

"_Though no oath is shared between the lovers_

"_In their hearts they know they will meet again_" Genesis readed.

"That´s LOVELESS. Act three. How can that help us?" I asked.

"It speaks about what was in the past. There was war. You two departed. And now you meet again." Genesis explained.

"So it is true... " Zack said.

"What is?" Me and Sephiroth said in unison.

_"Look in my eyes_

_You're killing me, killing me_

_All I wanted was you_

_I tried to be someone else_

_But nothing seemed to change_

_I know now, this is who I really am inside"_

xxx

"Ah. Nothing. I just... it was like something inside of me said that. Not me. And the thought just disappeared." Zack told us.

"Oh well in that case.. It´s familiar to us all. Because of Hojo's and Gast's experimenting. But now, why don´t we eat? Could someone please help me on the kitchen? No not you Zack. I remember what happened _last_ time.." Sephiroth said.

"I can help. If you _remember_ I´m not a bad cook. You taught me. It won´t be a problem." I said.

Sephiroth chuckled, letting the hazy memory pass, "Just something simple. Some vegetables with noodles and sauce. Nothing _adventurous_ tonight."

"I can cut the vegetables. Zack would you like to come with us? I could probably teach you how to chop them without chopping your fingers." I said smiling.

"We well come too." Angeal said. We all went to the kitchen and Sephiroth just told me which vegetables to use.

Carrots, peas, asparagus, cucumber, corn, onions, tomatoes. Almost everything what you can ever imagine. I took them to the counter, took few different sized cooking knifes, cutting boards and small plate.

"Now look Zack. Look _carefully_." I said. I used my SOLDIER infused speed and quickly all of the vegetables were cut equally sized cubes and slices. The pain was still in the back of my mind so I was slower than usual. I didn´t think they noticed.

"Show off." Angeal muttered quietly. But we all could hear him with our hearing and we laughed. I started roasting the vegetables. On low heat so they wouldn´t burn. Sephiroth was in middle of making sauce. It looked _fabulous_. Just like _everything_ he graces. In a matter of minutes we were all eating and having a conversation with each other. It was nice and easy situation. We all felt fairly normal for change.

xxx

It was a shame that I would much rather deal with _paperwork_ than what earlier events brought on. Now tomorrow I was having twice and much _paperwork_ to deal with. _Paperwork_ should be a swear word. Everyone had already left and it was just me and Sephiroth and _dishes._

"You don't have to worry about today's paperwork."

"Do what?"

"I gave them to someone else today while you were drilling this morning. I... wanted you over early." He actually _blushed!_

I kind of did too. "You didn't have to that."

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and huskily breathed into my ear, "What kind of _man_friend would I be if I didn't help you?" Now he nibbled on the earlobe.

"_Ahhh_ it would seem like... ohh... favoritism." My legs were jelly at this point. Sephiroth had a fetish for licking and I always seemed to be involved with it. Not that I'm complaining.

Now he was flicking his tongue in my ear, "Not if I told them you had errands for me."

My dick felt like it had a few _errands_ to do!

Then, his left hand slid down my spine—fingers wide—between my _ass_! His first two fingers poked through my pants to where _my opening was with accuracy!_

"Wait!-Wait! Stop!" I took two steps back so I could actually breathe.

"Too heated?" he said breathlessly.

"A little." Even though I wanted to say, _'You poked me!'_ Unfortunately, I must have lost some brain cells because I then said, "You were accurate there."

_Oh-my-fucking-GOD! Kill me NOW!_

"It is good to know that I haven't forgotten."

_I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die._

"Can we just _end_ this conversation!?" I was _going_ to die...

"I'm sure you remember some of my _wild_ areas. _Especially_ one in particular--"

"Shut the _fuck_ up!"

And he just _smiles_! I can hear Angel and Jenova _laughing_ in the background! And Gaia was _groaning_ in displeasure—her fingers in her ears so she wouldn't have to hear.

"Whenever you are ready."

Time to get back.

"No 'shag-machine' tonight. You get the couch and you won't have any _lotion_ to do the _motion_."

xxx

_"Finally found myself_

_Fighting for a chance_

_I know now, this is who I really am_

_Come break me down_

_Marry me, bury me_

_I am finished with you, you, you"_

I waited for my Cadets to arrive. While waiting, I thought back on last night with Sephiroth. I couldn't help but chuckle. The look on his face when I threatened to take his lotion was priceless. He rarely, if ever, made a mocking sort of face.

"_So Cloud, want to get together tomorrow night? Just you and me this time."_

I was probably the few people who ever heard him purr. If he wasn't born a man, he'd probably be a good cat—a ferocious and sensual cat. His heart was filled with content and happiness if he purred. And that morning when he was going down the hall to his office, I _swore_ I saw a skip in his step.

When the clock was at seven I immediately called names.

"Abbot, Oreo!"

"Here sir!" He looks like a fair kid. Maybe a little younger than I am. However, he should build up his stamina fast.

"Abney, Yves!"

"Here Sir!" He´s no SOLDIER material, but a good sharp shooter.

"Adams, Gabriel!" No answer, "Has anyone seen him? He wasn´t attending last time either." I asked.

"He was on our room-" Reno was cut off by an opening door. Gabriel hurriedly ran in and took his place in the line.

"Thank you Reno. Now Adams where were you?" I asked coldly. I saw some cuts and bruises. Not nice. It were the signs that he was being bullied. I have to get him to open up to me. Or maybe to Zack..

"I fell down the stairs. I´m sorry that I´m late, sir." Adams said.

"Noted. Stay after the class." I said.

"Sir, Yes sir!"

"Bailey, Weis!"

"Here sir!" Here´s a good materia user. I can see it in him. Not much of a martial arts fighter. Possible SOLDIER.

"Eberly, Dean!"

"Here sir!" He´s average about everything. He'll be alright in all the fields. If not, then maybe future Sergeant.

"Lanham, Mathew!"

"Here sir!" He was absent last time. _What´s his problem_. Possible bully perhaps? Well if he is then Shin-Ra army doesn´t want him. He will be sent to Wutai and taken care of by me or someone else.

"Sinclair, Reno!"

"Here sir!" I forgotten the papers. Shit.. Well next time.

"Did you inform others about the upcoming mission?" I asked.

"Yes Sir, I did. Want to hear my opinion about which should be in which group and how?" Reno asked from me.

"After the class Sinclair." I said commanding.

"Yes sir!".

"What can you do with sword?" I asked the class. Again, Reno answered.

"We are in the middle of sword fighting class one, sir."

"Good. Then today I will not teach you anything new. Get into pairs and spar. And friendly spar only." I reminded them.

"Sir, Yes sir." They all answered to me and did what I told them to do. I circled around them, correcting mistakes as they came forward.

"Eberly! You are not protecting your left side at all. Put your hand here." I guided him.

"Thank you, sir."

The class went forward just like that. I corrected when I could.

Around 11:30...

"Okay. Class dismissed. Sinclair, Adams don´t leave yet." I shouted.

The class saluted and left. I walked firstly to Reno. I gave my clipboard to him and told him to voice his opinion about my decisions.

"Sir, as far as I know they are correct. What about the groups, Sir?" He asked.

"Three groups of three. On group one are the best fighters, on group two are possible SOLDIER and Turk candidates. You can lead them. And on group three are everybody else. I´ll lead that group so they will be safe and give them some courage. And I hope that you can keep your group safe. I will attend special studies with you. I´m free at Tuesday evenings and Saturday mornings. Are they good times to you?" I asked from Reno.

"Yes Sir, they will do, yo. So we´ll see each other then, yo. Have a nice day, Sir." He said and mock saluted towards me. I laughed and waved at him dismissingly. He had slipped few papers to my pocket as well as my new identification. It was nice to know you had _someone _on your side.

I waited to address Adams after Reno left. The door shut. "Now Adams. What is the real reason that you were late? I´m not stupid and I´m not blind. I can make it an order if that helps?" I said warmly but firmly.

"I...um... sir?" He struggled. He wasn´t sure which opinion was the best one to take. To stick with the story or to tell everything.

"You are supposed to trust me, on whatever comes into your way as your Instructor. I´m here to help you. I´m not like Sergeant Ebony. You can tell me anything and eberything, I´m not going to judge you. I want to protect you, all of you." I said to him.

"I... I´m sorry.. I can´t tell, I don´t want to lose my life... sir." He said shyly. _No suprice there. But who would do this?_

"It´s okay. Can we at least check your injuries? I know there´s something going on, and I don´t like it at the least." I said

"Oh.. well- I suppose, Sir." He said. I see so much of myself in him at that age. I should know what to do. Maybe Zack knows. He helped me out. Or maybe Angeal? I knew he didn´t have options. He was goign to come with me and treat this silently or go to infarmary and do this by the hard way.

"Well let´s get going then." I said. He followed me. I didn´t want to take him to the infirmary. It wouldn´t do anything good if he was bullied. I decided to call Zack. That was the best course of action. And the most difficult.

"Fair speaking." He answered.

"Hi it´s me. I was wondering do you know any good medics? I have... someone who needs medical help and as I know what to do. So, do you know anyone who could attend him? Unofficially I mean."

"Um... Yeah. One guy owes me. I could call him to check your little flower. What´s his name?"

"Adams Gabriel Come to my apartment with your friend." I said.

"Is he being bullied?" He asked.

"I think so. I don´t know if _it_ is involved. I know who might be possible though." I said.

"Okay we will be there in five." He said and hung up.

We were on my apartment door. Gabriel looked me questionably. I opened the door and let him go in first. He was neat obviously. He left his boots by the door and left standing.

"I´m off-duty so you may call me Cloud. As I will call you Gabriel. " I said..

"Um... sir? Cloud?" He said.

"Would you like some tea? Soda? Anything?" I asked warmly.

"Um... Just tea please." He said. He blushed a little. I probably would have done the same thing in my "younger" years.

"Sit down." I said to him.

He was scared. I didn´t know why and it worried me greatly. I was happy when a knock on the door was heard. I went and welcomed Zack and his friend inside.

"Hi, this is Captain Miquel Sanches, 2nd class. And here´s Second Lieutenant Cloud Strife, 3rd class." Zack said.

"Well where´s my "unofficial" patient?" Miquel asked from me.

"On the sofa. Drinking tea. You can use the master bedroom, it has bathroom on it. Feel free to use it." I said.

Miquel collected Larry with him and went to the bedroom. Zack and I went to the sofa, drinking tea.

"So what´s the situation?" Zack asked.

"He was missing on last class. And now he came late. Said he had fallen at the stairs. Which can´t be true. His wounds are also too un symmetrical to be from falling stairs -believe me I know. There are elevators, which are easier and faster. Unless he was pushed." I said quietly.

"Yeah. What a mess. Any suspects?" Zack asked.

"Yeah there is one. Lanham, Mathew." I said darkly. After a few minutes, Miquel came back to the living room. I didn´t see Adams with him. The facial expression on him would have been funny if the situation wasn´t so serious.

"He was raped." He said to us.

"WHAT??!!" Zack and I said in unison.

**A/N: So here it is again. I hope that you liked it. There will be major Seph&Cloud Smex in next chapter.. I promise!!! I´m sorry about the lack of yaoi to this point. I was just so consentrated about the major plot so I sorta couldn´t place it anywhere... Sorry.**

**B/N: Go ahead! Thank me! Betcha can't wait for the next chapter! I got you going with a little lime. The Fluffy Lime Bunnies made me do it!! 8O**


	7. Chapter 6 OLD

**A/N: Here again. Thanks to everybody who reviewed. Thanks to my beta: Original-Botticella. Sephiroth is now mine.. Or at least he likes to hang with me.. It´s all because I feed him with Chocovanillastrawberrycookies.. With Vanilla sauce. He was sent to me after was fortunate review.. I can die happy now.. Not that I will.. I will live forever! With Sephiroth :)) Thanks to my beta: Original-Botticella and all of you who read, reviewed. Thank you :)**

**6. Growing**

_30 Seconds to Mars - The Mission_

_"I open up my head inside_

_And find another person's mind_

_I'm gonna take this chance I've got_

_I run denying as we speak_

_Hiding my face among the weak_

_Some say their day is on the way"_

"He was... raped." He said to us.

"WHAT??!!" Zack and I said in unison.

"How is that _possible_? Did he tell you about it?" I asked in shock. Though I was not surprised, it had almost happened to me in here too. Zack saved me that time. _Could we save Adams?_ Miquel handed me the medical record of Adams. I quickly read it through as he continued explaining the situation.

"He didn't tell me anything. He is sleeping now. I know the physical symptoms. I think that it would be best if he could live in yours or some else's apartment who is strong and trust worthy." Miquel said.

"He can stay here or in Zack's quarters. Only, I don't have time to keep an eye on everything he does. And right now I need to deliver some papers. Excuse me." I said coldly. I knew how and what I would do. I quickly sorted and filled the papers that I had to deliver to Tseng, Sephiroth, and Reno. First to Sephiroth. I knew Zack had taken my cue and would take care of the boy. Sephiroth had done a good job with the paperwork. It was just that of course they paired up and made little paperwork which piled to my desk. I also needed to do evaluations of everybody in my group. The thoughts of the boy's rape filled my head. It reminded me of so much that I went through as a cadet. Men like that had no honor and did not deserve to be in SOLDIER.

Time to give the boys a wake-up call.

I quickly went to Sephiroth's office. I didn't knock, I knew that it was pointless, he would sense my presence.

"What's wrong Cloud?" He asked. I slammed the papers to his desk. I was furious and raging. My eyes were like blue fire.

"I'm going to sort out what´s wrong.. I fucking hate this.. I'm going to make it end.. Call Zack he will explain to you. I'm sorry. I'll see you later tonight." I said throw gritted teeth and went to the Commanders office with the rest of the papers. I opened the door without knocking. I knew that Tseng noticed the state I was in. I just quickly gave him the papers. Then took one paper more from my pocket and gave it to him wordlessly. It was the medical report of Adams. I had written the suspects name down to the paper also.

"Can we deal him?" I asked. Tseng was the master in torturing.. And I wanted that scum pile to suffer. And suffer he would. I knew what they did to people in Wutai what they indeed caught. And if that didn't work. Accidents happen. If nothing more of an accident then friendly fire to the back was always a nice option.

"Yes I suppose so. Let´s go and get him while we go to speak with Reno." Tseng said and we left together.

"Let´s send him to Wutai.. A little capturing won't do anything bad. I know what they will do to him. And no one will pay the ransom money.." Tseng said peacefully

I smiled wickedly.

Not even Turks allow rapists into their ranks. They have more honor than that.

xxx

_"Into the wild_

_I'm with a mission_

_Over the hill_

_Come here with me_

_Into the wild_

_Into the wild"_

We came to my groups room.. Everyone were there. Except Adams but that wasn't a problem. We went straight to Reno.

"Here are the papers I told I get to you. This is Commander Tseng. Leader of the Turks. This is Reno Sinclair." I told them.

"Nice to see you 2nd Lieutenant Strife, Commander Tseng." Reno said politely.

"I leave you here to talk about your future. I need to get my paperwork in order. Reno, I will change the group as Lanham is sent to Wutai.. Let´s speak about the new group on Monday. Bye Reno. Commander." I said.

"Dismissed 2nd Lieutenant." Tseng said. I saluted at him and went to my own apartment.

xxx

Life was good so far, it has been at least three months since _that_ moment. And about a month in a half sense Sephiroth and I have been 'together' as 'manfriends.' We haven't done anything heated yet. Just… the really good stuff. I don't have to be that cold person that I am outside of our world. It's wonderful to have what I have lost in my past life. What a good time it has been. Gabriel had been given the opportunity to be Zakcs pupil. He would be a great SOLDIER one day. I just knew it. He was also living in Zacks quarters and they were living happy life. I suspected that they had something going on as they almost always were together. Or then Zack was being an over protecting mother chocobo, which was nothing new.

There were times when our time was cut short, due to missions. He is the General after all. And I still have to prove myself to a degree. Although last night was particularly good. We became our comical and seductive selves that was rarely seen outside of closed doors. It's funny that outside those closed doors I was the level-headed, by-the-book Lieutenant, but in the arms of Sephiroth, I was a clumsy and low-blush-factor young man.

"_You can never blush enough for a tomato Cloud." _He told me once after a particular mess up with spilling my drink over my crotch.

It was weird and heart-felt at the same time. My musing however, was cut short when another load of paperwork came. I still needed to train. Needed to go sword classes.. Angeal taught them and Zack was my partner. I knew all of the moves but I needed to go so I wouldn't make anyone suspicious.

The paperwork felt like endless mass of brain killers. Yes brain- not _pain_killers.. Which I still needed almost daily. The planets pain and anger didn't decrease—though it was leveling out, and I was tired all the time. Back in my AVALANCHE days I needed various medication. Due to my already high mako count I couldn't use most of the mako-based medication. And everything else was expensive. Of course when we had saved the world we were all rich. But that wasn't the case back in the days. I had antidepressants, pain medication, various kinds of other medication which were used by case only. The list was endless. My bathroom at Seventh Heaven. The mirror cabinet was full of medicine. It was actually very funny. Tifa always had the urge to yap at me about it.

"_Everyone will think you're a druggie or a dealer."_ She used to day.

A headache was coming my way. It was the _reading_. It's strange because I love to read. It was one of the few hobbies that didn't involve physical activity and helped me relax after a hard day. Unfortunately, it was the sort of story that causes you to fall asleep. I actually read everything they gave me. It was a waste of time, but I was too much of a perfectionist to not to do it. When Hojo had fucked up me in his lab, I got Sephiroth's personality. Little less of hate and irritation and from Zack I had few gestures and memories from them both. It took me a long time to sort everything in my head. I had to go to the medicine cabinet and take few painkillers and relaxants. They made me lose focus and strength but were worth it. I trusted the planet or Jenova to warn me about any threat coming to my way. The headaches came from Sephiroth too.. He always had a headache after boring meeting or at the end of a paperwork filled day. So I had it too. Also the perfectionism which was Sephiroth's boosted my own and didn't allow me to leave anything. I had to do it. Shit I fucking _hate_ this!!!

**I could do them for you. **Angel offered.** I'm not that bad at it. I have seen through your's and Sephiroth's, and off course, Zack's memories. So, I think I can handle it for a while. So you can have a brake. Sleep or something. We are all worried about you. If you don't stop doing everything and being everywhere you will go crazy. So could I?**

_Well okay.. Just.. Wake me up when it´s close to five o´clock so I can meet Sephiroth. I have lab appointment tomorrow also..._

**I will take care of everything.. Just rest already**.

_Yeah… Thanks._

xxx

**Wake up!!!! **

"Wha?" I said sheepishly. Talk about a biological clock.

I can feel Angel huffing at my awkward sleepiness state, **The paperwork is all done. Now go to Seph's—our muffin-bun kitten. You can check the evil paperwork in the morning. Now go already! ** It was obvious that Angel was perturbed at doing paperwork throughout the day.

"Hi! Hi! Gomen Gomen. I´ll just go." I said again. Angel didn´t said anything more. I left my apartment and ventured to Sephiroth's.

Danger!

I crossed paths with John.. It was scared. I was still so sleepy so my reflexes weren't doing anything yet. I hated the sleepy mummy state I was in the first five minutes of waking up. I thought that Gaia had have me a great weakness. He passed me and saluted. I went past him like he was air.. And suddenly my head was in the wall. My reflexes were working less accurately than before because of the mix of painkillers, relaxants and head injury. Oh _great_. This was actually _it_.. I've had enough of these situations. I didn't get my train of thought to end before a new hit to head and abdomen were given.. The beating just continued until I was grouched on the ground and had various cuts and bruises. Also my head was bleeding _nicely_. Head wounds always bleed like a bitch..

My strength was gone. Planet had taken it with her insane pain feeder nature. And all the paperwork too. And when Angel was in charge that took strength also. Everything took something from me. Everybody wanted something. I was too tired I didn't want to concentrate on anything. The pain from the beating wasn't anything when compared to planets pain. And the planet wasn't going to save me this time. I could beat Sephiroth but not John. What a _loser_ I can sometimes be. That's just me, a super emo, loser who can't wake up properly and downs pain killers.

I felt myself lift from the ground.. Then, being carried. My consciousness was shifting on and off. Time to time. I couldn't use Angel's or Jenova's power either. I didn't want anyone else to know my secrets.. So that was also out of the question. _Time to wait for that moment when I can be the one to get back. John, you just made the worst mistake you could possibly make. _I was tossed and it felt like I was falling for a long time. Then the stairs. It wasn't a nice bumping down when you have stairs hitting you. I guessed that this was some random staircase that was out of use.. By the lack of light. Or was something wrong in my eyes? I couldn´t know. My mind faded to blackness.

I can't take it anymore...

xxx

"_High above the serpentine_

_I cross below the well-worn lines_

_Entangled in a missing memory_

_I've had an oversight_

_I formed this sword that will give rise_

_To something some new world is here to seize_

_Into the wild_

_Into the wild"_

When I woke up I still were in the stair case. I glanced around of me. I couldn´t say what time it was. Normally my inner clock was always on time.. But when a blackout happens my biological clock kind of re-sets..

_Sephiroth is probably worried.._

I started getting up until the pain hit me. It was my ribs that had the problem. When I see Vincent, I'll let him take a look. He can fix me in few minutes. Breathing was hard also. It took me forever to get up and going and when I finally was moving. I needed to show no weakness. On the hallway that Sephiroth's door was, were couple of Cadets on guard. Patrolling like always. It was nearly never that one could meet guards here. Because of Sephiroth and other 1st and 2nd class SOLDIERs. They could take almost any kind of intruder. Because of their better hearing and eyesight and other senses they were also much more alert that normal cadets.

"Could I have identification please?" One of the three cadets asked from me. I didn't want to show any weakness in front of them so I swiftly got my card and gave it to the cadet.

"Here you go sir." I heard him say.. The identification was the one that Reno had gave me earlier. It had become very useful to have it. I was just about to leave when other of the cadets asked:

"If it´s not inappropriate to ask.. What´s happen to you, sir?"

"A little mistake at the gym. Sparring." I quickly dismissed. They politely saluted at me and I slowly walked to Sephiroth's door when they were out of sight.

_What do I say to him??_ I knocked at the door and I heard the Cadets speaking far behind:

"Did you _notice_ all his wounds? How tough he must be!? I don't want to be on his bad side that's for sure."

"I heard from a class 3 that he's an instructor and that he´s really nice _and_ understanding! That's hard to come by. And they said that if we have any problems we should go to him.. His _nothing_ like Sergeant Ebony."

"But he just came from Wutai and got promoted to 3rd Class and Second Lieutenant! That´s _so_ cool!"

**Heh, at one point in time you sounded just like that. Fawning over the General. Now, you have more of a reason to **_**fawn**_** over him.**

_S-Shut up!_ I practically blushed at that thought.

I knocked meekly. What a way to revert to that old self I once was. Sephiroth opened the door with worried expression on his face and pulled me to a hug.

"Please Sephiroth. Let go." I pleaded him with pain-filled voice.

"What happened?" He asked as he gestured me to come in.. Which I gladly did and went straight to the sofa. I ignored the question.

"Is Vincent here?" I asked quietly..

"No.. He´s with Angeal, Genesis and Zack next door." He said to me. I got up from the couch and went out of the door and to Angeal's apartment. I knocked and Sephiroth came in with me when the door was opened. Zack pulled me into a SOLDIER like hug which nearly killed me because my ribs. He noticed something sharp on my side. It pinched him in the arm. He pulled away from me as I held myself up from his uniform so I wouldn't fall again. Zack's expression changed as he felt my ribs.

"Vincent!!" He shouted as he and Sephiroth dragged me to the couch to sit as Vincent came from the kitchen.

"What´s the matter Zack? Angeal and Genesis are showering and the meal is almost ready.." I already panted at that point.. I was painfully aware.

"Look at Cloud." Then he turned to Cloud, "What _happened_ to you Chocobo?!?!" Zack panicked. He was such a mother chocobo. I didn´t answer to the question and Vincent immediately came to me and shooed Zack and Sephiroth out of the way.

"Get me the First Aid kit, some hot water, bandages and a high potion." He ordered. He sat beside me and started to take my uniform from me. I winced at the effort, but complied. It was only the upper ribs that were broken. SOLDIER belt effectively shielded lower ribs and abdomen. Vincent didn´t ask any questions.

Zack and Sephiroth came back with all the stuff Vincent asked. He started to clean the wound.

"Why haven't this healed already?" Vincent asked.

"Because Gaia is still angry to me about earlier. But she will accept it at some point." I said quietly.

"I need to set two ribs.. Sephiroth please hold him still." _Ohhh great_. "On three. One, two, THREE!" Vincent shouted as he set one of the ribs to it´s real place. _How I always end situations like this one? At the whole time I have been in here I have broken at least 20 bones already.. I'm fearing the upcoming missions and Wutai. At least for now they haven´t been that bad..._ As I was in my thoughts I didn´t even notice Vincent setting the other rib. My body tried to buckle out of Sephiroth's hold, but I didn´t made any sounds except some gaps as it was suddenly easier to breathe.

The pain was nothing beside the planet's pain.. I wanted to laugh which I actually did in fact. It was the same hollow and haunting laugh. Somehow manically. Then it got me. _It´s not Angel who's the maniac. It´s Me!!_

They all looked at me strangely. Then Vincent hit me on the neck. To the pressure point to be exact. I immediately went looking my mind to the darkness.

My last thought was, _Passing Out: My Motif._

xxx

"What has happened to him?" Angeal said. He just came from the kitchen with Genesis and saw Vincent hitting Clouds neck.

"He came to my place. He was late and I was worried. Now I'm fearing who could have done this to Cloud? And if there isn't anyone; what did happened?" Sephiroth wearily said.

_Cloud always seems to be at odds with trouble._ He thought.

"Those are the few questions which we are all wondering. Maybe we should test him? He's sleeping now." Genesis said.

"Yes that´s a good idea. I´ll go and see if anyone knows anything about what happened." Zack said and left. Vincent was already drawing blood and starting to test it.

Vincent had sensitive taste buds that can detect chemicals like any forensic machine—only it was more human than machine. He's been around so long and tasted so many chemicals he can detect it without making mistakes in his annalistic tongue.

Even though the sight of him squirting blood into his mouth wasn't _slightly_ mortifying enough for the seasoned SOLDIERs nothing will ever be. Even if it _was_, they didn't show it.

After a few minutes.

"Sooo," Angeal began, "What can you detect?"

Vincent faltered slightly with a worried expression—bad sign, "He has been taking medication. Three times more painkillers than normal humans can handle. And some relaxants and anti-depressants. And there´s trace of few other medicines as well." Vincent said quietly. "It's so mixed up and concentrated it's hard to tell." Another bad sign. If Vincent's oral senses couldn't tell you the exact chemical compound, then nothing possibly could.

"What does that mean?" Sephiroth and Genesis asked in unison.

"It means he was unable to defend himself during the attack. Even a child would have beaten him. I think it´s the paperwork, or stress in general. Possibly from headaches and sever migraines as well. More than likely due to what he has gone through the past month or so. With this much concentration, he probably has had many sleepless nights as a side-effect. Has any of you seen him sleeping?" Vincent asked.

They all said no.

"The only time we see him sleeping is if he is passed out like he is now." Angeal said. Genesis and Zack nodded their head.

"He has slept at my place few times. Although... He said I looked pretty and peaceful when I slept and that he liked to watch me sleep." Sephiroth said softly. He was blushing a little. The 'pretty' part caused a small snicker from Zack.

"This isn't funny Fair." Angeal said warningly. Zack knew when to sober up when around Angeal. It was a serious situation when it came down to Spiky's health habits.

"He hasn't been sleeping every time since he came here. Almost three months ago. Does he eat?" Vincent asked

"Every time we cook, then, yeah. But I have been getting the picture that he eats because of politeness, not because of hunger." Genesis said.

"He eats always. Though, when he´s injured he eats when he's hungry, not because he needs to." Angeal said.

"He doesn't have favorite food. And he can basically eat anything." Sephiroth said.

"So. Not eating or sleeping properly. What's next?" Vincent said.

xxx

I woke beside Sephiroth. In his bed and within his arms actually. The position was nice and I felt safe and loved. He woke up after I pressed more firmly against him. His hands held me more tightly and securely. Like he was afraid that I could vanish to thin air.

"Are you all right, my love?" Sephiroth asked in a quiet voice that held more love than anything I had ever heard. I just listened to his voice and didn't pay any attention to his words. I purred a little. It was a skill that came from Sephiroth. Well not a _skill_..A _reaction_.

"I assume that means yes." He said lovingly and pressed his chin to my locks of golden like hair. It was surprisingly soft. Even if the unruly spikes looked like they could kill a person if necessary. His calm and steady breathing sent shivers throughout my body.

What a good way to wake up. Better than any alarm clock.

I kissed him gently and gradually the kisses became more heated as our morning erections started working together against our better will. I switched our places so that I was under him. He gently bit me from my neck. It felt heavenly. The way he bit and licked reminded me of wild cat. A dangerous and seductive cat. If his own purring was any indication.

Suddenly our clothes were gone, our hands roamed another's bodies, and heated kisses were shared generously.

I want him so bad. I felt so _sure_ that we are going to be bound this time around.

Our fates were going to be better.

I had enough of waiting.

I want him to take me in the glow of the morning sun.

I breathed harshly after the kiss, "Now, right now."

Then he stopped, gazing at me in a passionate and loving question. Oh yes, you heard right.

"Are you sure that you want this? In here, you are still a virgin. And I am not a small man."

I chuckled, wrapped my arms around his neck, and breathed seductively into his ear, "I know you're not a small man. I know how to take you, remember?"

I made him hear my feet spreading on the sheets to expose myself.

He practically trembled, "Your wish is not a wish anymore." He said and took the lube from top drawer beside _our_ bed.

He opened the cap and kissed me to distract me.

"No, please, let me feel it—let me _see_ it."

He was more than happy to oblige. He pushed me by the hips so that my shoulders rested on the headboard and gave me better stability to open my legs.

He re-lubed his fingers, gently petted my entrance, pressed, and then slip in as I relaxed. Oh, it felt _so_ good. I practically gasped at the sight and sensation. As it pressed further, it swirled and the lightning bolt of pleasure as it brushed against my prostrate.

"Oh _fuck_!" I squeaked.

Sephiroth only smiled that contented and loving smile. I smiled right back, and begged him to continue.

Then, his second finger came into the picture as it joined the first, and they scissored together inside me. A small, wet sound came when they spread and came together from the lubrication. Then, the third came into the play... my hips were practically bucking against the fingers, wanting them deeper. I burned with the need to have him. I noticed that he wanted this feel as heavenly as it possibly could and so he wanted to prepare me properly. When the fourth finger came into the play I was already panting and writhing as it was.

"Fuck... _Seph_..."

He gave me that wicked look. Oh _shit_...

He started with my neck—nibbling lightly—and he went south. Harshly biting my nipples—making me cry out. Licking down my abdomen until he reached it—

"Ohh! SEPH!" His beautiful lips encased the head—his tongue darting around the sensitive urethra opening. He sucked hard and pressed my button hard. I practically screamed. I breathed and panted hard to keep up with my pacing heart.

His free hand _firmly_ took hold of the shaft—pumping slowly but firmly. All three combinations sent me over board. My hips bucked harshly and firmly—wanting to get more of that mouth. My moaning and panting filled the room. Sephiroth gave a smug expression of enjoyment. He firmly held the base—holding off my orgasm. I practically turned into a _wild beast_ with frustration. It wasn't until I calmed that he let go of the base and removed his hot mouth. That mouth was rose red from the work. He then returned to his former position—looking above me.

The fingers were withdrawn and I whimpered to the sudden loss. He shushed me and slowly placed himself to my entrance. His body draped over me like a sex-blanket, and also like a cat for the ambush—the _rush_! His jutting piece of man-meat lined up perfectly with my entrance. Then he pushed in gently. I rolled my eyes and gasped that soon I would swallow him whole—he would be so _secure_ within me. Inch by thick inch went straight in _agonizingly_ slow. My hips moved from impatience, but his strong arms held me securely from hurting myself.

Then, I felt his pubes tickle my balls. He was all the way in—all ten inches was now securely seated within me. I let out a relieved, loud, animalistic _groan_ at the realization. Sephiroth growled , and his body became a lust filled knot. It was the heavenly feeling of being full. I knew I was tight... I had always been that way—even after so many months of making love in our past lives. I knew that he was in heaven right now. I wanted him to feel _me._

He gave me few moments to accommodate his presence. Then, he wrapped his arms tightly around my torso and he _only_ moved his hips in a relaxed and easy pace to and fro. I felt it all, even the tip as it slid deeper within me. His lower stomach provided enough friction on my thrumming penis and stimulated my balls to make me shake. It was too _good_ from both ends.

Our lips encased. His tongue in tune with his increasing thrusts. My arms and legs held on to him tightly—the heals and fingers digging into his skin—making him cry out jaggedly. We locked eyes—the light in them brightened from the colors from the sun and from his own lust and love. It was love all over again.

It wasn't enough.

"Fas-ter... Se_ee_phh.. GAH! harder.._please_!!"

He took faster and harder pace suddenly. Just like I knew he would. It was heavenly. In every thrust he _banged_ my prostate. The pleasure was overwhelming.

"Oh_hh_, you feel—so—_good_!"

"I know—_Oh_!—You too. Ah!"

Then the world began to drown out.

The existence of the world narrowed to just us—in our small private moment of mutual love. Our souls became reunited.

Then, it happened.

Then we both came. He inside of me and I on our stomachs. The sheer heat made me _burn_.

We both sighed and basked in the post-orgasm glow. In sweat, scent, flesh, and cum. Never happier.

We stayed locked until our hearts slowed and our breath calmed. We locked eyes again and pure contentment and love _glowed_ like the fucking sun. He nestled his face on my neck and I on his shoulder as he slowly pulled out. I shivered as the last inch came out and that allowed his cum to flow from me. I blushed at the sensation.

"That was so _good_. Thank you Seph." I breathed lovingly into his ear.

I could feel him smile. "I agree. Now we should get ready. Your mission starts soon. " Sephiroth said to me.

I blushed a little at my sense of timing. I didn't care after a second, he carried me to the shower. Good, because I felt too good and sore to get up.

xxx

I was running actually limping veeery fast in the halls. Looking for my group with folders on my hands and at the same time checking that everything was in order. I needed Reno to get the mission papers.

_I have to get my own secretary._

My phone rang. It was Vincent.

"I have news. I need to see you immediately."

"I'm on my way to see Reno. He´s at training room 3. Can you get to the observatory without anyone noticing?"

"Yes. See you there in five minutes." The line went dead. I hate when he does that.

I ran faster. I came in to the halls where more people were absent. Those who were below my rank and actually recognized me saluted and those who were above me in rank didn´t watch me saluting while I was running.

When I finally made it into the training room Reno and Tseng were already there. Reno saluted me and I saluted to Tseng.

"Here are some more papers. I just finished them. I need to get going. Reno inform everyone that Zack Fair is coming with us." I said to Reno.

He saluted with a "Yes sir!"

Tseng dismissed me and I went to the observatory upstairs. Vincent was already waiting for me there.

"Cloud. I found some documents. I advise that you will sit down while I explain. Sephiroth is coming here as quickly as he can." Vincent told me.

"What is it? I'm not that weak that anything you found would hurt me anyway." I said to him.

"This will take everything to a new level. There´s scotch on the table.. Feel free to use it." Vincent said to me mildly. I sat down and took a drank from my scotch.

"Now.. I found some documents that will as I said earlier change everything. As you know many of us have their original memories back. Sephiroth is depressed because of it, I'm satisfied, Zack´s happy and Angeal and Genesis are mystified. So I created a theory. If our memories are here.. All the documents have to be here too.. What I did find about you was shocking.. Your memories... Almost all of them are false.." Vincent said carefully.

"What do you mean by _false_?" I asked angrily. Angel, Planet and Jenova were all in a stage of confusion. They didn´t know what was happening. They had all the access in my head, memories and thoughts so they were all quick scanning it for mistakes. They didn´t find any.

"I used a memory recognition technique so that everyone would regain their memories of their past lives during the last month or so. At least in part. What I found was that—everything you told us—does not add up. There's their memories—which is more alike—than yours—which is totally different.

"I did some research on resurrection and reincarnation—only on a global scale. Since the planet has multiple memories due to the Lifestream, it needs a single set of memories to be born from. Even if it is repressed-false memories or real ones. The rest of the Lifestream's multiple memories are left intact or deleted but not replaced. So, this world was based on your memories—false ones.

"Now that you know a part of the truth it won't change what this reality is but... You will more than likely gain extra memories when I unlock those hidden truths from your memory." Vincent told me.

_How can this be possible?_

"Slowly I've pieced the memories and events the way people remember them. You actually were a first class SOLDIER—a lieutenant-General to be precise. You were raised in the Shin-Ra mansion with _Rufus_ and your mom. You were tested all the time—very much like Sephiroth.

"Genesis _is_ your father, he gave you to the president Shin-Ra to protect and to become a better SOLDIER than he ever was. I told this to him. And he was stunned. But he remembered. Your characteristics are also too much of Sephiroth's. There´s a reason why to that also. They are not some scratches from Sephiroth's person. They are all you. Zack started using _your_ moves. Not the other way around. All those lab years in Nibelheim. They were true. Only. It wasn't Sephiroth who went mad... It was you."

"I... It can't.. It.. ca-n´t.. be..." I was hyperventilating. I couldn´t do anything. It was too much.

Suddenly all my real memories where coming to my head. Me killing Sephiroth 3 times—yes that was true—he was on Jenova's side. Only he was trying to save the humans. I wasn't _part_ of it.

_It was the Planet that told me to get rid of humans so that was what I did._

_Why did she want to destroy the humans?_

_Was I not human?_

Sephiroth came in and saw the stage I was in.

"Breathe Cloud.. Breathe!!!!" He shouted.

I couldn't—I wasn't—I'm not—Everything is false. Except my love to Sephiroth. We got married before the incident. We had adopted a child—Marlene—that was her name.

"_Papa Cloud, when is Papa Seph comin' home?"_

"_When he gets done with work Marlene."_

"Gaia_ he works all tha' _tiiime_!"_

We had everything. And then, the planet--

Sephiroth came to my side to hold me up.

I looked at him with pain filled eyes, "Seph, where's our baby girl? Where's Marlene?" before I passed out.

**A/N: I'm sorry that this took so long and that the chap is so short. I´ve been having nighmarish days at work.. I'm sorry :P**

**B/N: Phew! All done! Don't worry I've lengthened it and added some lemony-goodness to the original. Along with other stuff—ya know—the usual. Mommy likes to clean up the mess you children make! :-)**


	8. Chapter 7 OLD

**A/N: Thanks to my beta: Original-Botticella again. I just got a new apartment and work is doing great so I have more time to write this to you. Thanks to all of my readers, reviewers etc. Critique is something that I miss so please press the button at the end of this chap.. Please? It's not too much trouble. I'm as lazy as you guys are so I know that it's hard to do. But pleeeeaaaseeee review. Thanks :) Also give me pointers. I want to develop as a writer and your feedback helps in that greatly. **

**7. Looking At The Truth In The Eye.**

_Korn - Tearjerker_

"_Well I wish there was someone,_

_Well I wish there was someone,_

_To love me._

_When I used to be someone,_

_And I knew there was someone,_

_That loved me."_

I looked at him with pain filled eyes, "Seph, where's our baby girl? Where's Marlene?" Before I passed out.

My consciousness was sifting in and out.. _I need to practice.. It's the only thing which I have left.. Anymore.. Like past..I need to be the planets weapon.. This time for real. No more mistakes. _I heard the planet purring happily to my declaration.

I was being carried.

"Sephiroth. Release me. I need to practice." I said to him coldly. The pain was inside of me. Sephiroth noticed this of course. He _knew _me better than anyone else even ever could, and that was one of my great weaknesses.

"No my love. You are not strong enough yet. You do not understand. I'm taking you home. We will discuss about these things and then you can do what you want." He said to me lovingly as he carried me through the corridors.

My cold mask started to crack under the pressure of information. I started to cry.

"Where is our baby girl? Seph? Where's Marlene?" I cried. I could just see her face—hear her voice—

"_Papa Cloud, look what I made for you!! And Papa Sephy! Look! It's a picture of all three of us in a yellow flower field! Look at our smiles!"_

"I'm going to look for her. I want to be with her as much as you do. Now rest my love." He said slowly.

XXX

I was in our apartment. Sitting on our sofa. Everyone was here.

"So.. I'm not.. Me?" I said quietly.

"No, I know what you are thinking right now. You are thinking about your past. About not being a human. It is true but you'll have to stand it. First of all. Your sword. You are normally using a katana. As am I.. We should go to train and see what you actually can and cannot do. But for now. It is pointless. When you are going to slums in to your mission with the S.P. Cadets, Zack and Reno tell them to find Marlene." Sephiroth ordered.

"Who's Marlene?" Zack asked.

"She's our daughter. Our little baby girl. Your are an uncle Zack." I said silently with pain-laced voice. I thought about how everything I had or have had was taken from me. First my freedom, them my memories, then my body and mind, then my heart and emotions, then my loved ones and last of all.. My will to survive. There really wasn´t much left.

In a very Zack-like fashion, "Thanks Chocobo!! Wooohoo!! Uncle Zack's here to save the day!" He shouted happily. Sephiroth and I silently smiled to each other. Zack was always enthusiastic about things. It gave us hope. If someone was to find Marlene, Zack would.

"I'll discuss about Jenova and the planet later. Now I really need to go, I have some business to take care of."

"What business? Can we come?" Zack said.

"Not so fast!" Vincent said to us.

"What is it now Vincent? Haven't I had enough of bad news already?" I said painfully. _Everybody is always expecting something from me or wanting something from me. Soon there isn´t anymore what I can give._

"It's not about that. After the attack or incident or whatever you want to call it. I tested your blood. Why are you taking so much medication? Do you even know what you are taking? I abstracted various kinds of serious and strong drugs out of your blood! You are taking too much of them. Anyone else would have died. And secondly: Why aren't you eating or sleeping? Yes we know about it. I have been watching you. I know that you take valium in order to do certain things like sleeping normally, although you don´t need the sleep.. You are being in mindless drug induced state most of your time! It's not good for your health." He explained to me.

Vincent always worried about everything. He was calculating and manipulative fuck-tard half of the time. He taught that the world savior should be healthy to in order save the world. My health was no indicator about saving the world. Gaia, Cetra and Jenova would keep me alive- No speaking of Hojo- if it came to that. They could not let me die. So I could severe my head and get entombed to acid and that would not do the job. Believe me, I tried. It´s hard to response to everything. If there was something going on the world, The Cetra would keep me informed. Okay it was good thing at the battlefield, but in every day life, it was tiring.

They all looked rather worried. _What should I tell them" _I didn't expect any answer. My face was as blank as my head.

**Just tell them about your "AVALANCHE" days and how it became a habit. And reassure them that you won't do it again.**

I guess they deserve that.

I did exactly as Angel's voice suggested.

"Back in the AVALANCHE days I took a great deal of medication. I know it´s not good to my health and I reassure you that I will not do it again. It is just that I have become accustomed to the rations I take them so it is not as risky. Besides I can´t die. Believe me I have tried." I said to them in a dark voice.

"It is still not good to your health to take them. And what about your sleeping habits and your eating disorder?" Angeal said visely.

"I know it is not good for me to take them. I promise I will not take them unless I have a medical reason to take them. About my sleeping habits.. I don´t sleep because I can´t sleep without valium or other drugs. I.. have nightmares about my past, future and everything. Everyone here has been in Hojos loving care, so you should know. I distaste the idea of sleeping and seeing only nightmares that make me even more tired than I was, then waking up to my own screaming or to that I have killed someone. I.. Have very bad reflexes at the mornings. This has happened before. And I really don´t need the sleep. Hojo made sure of that, the mako that is inside of me fuels me endlessly as does Jenovas presence. Then to my `eating disorder´as you call it. It is the same thing. I don´t need the food, really. You are correct about me eating because I think about your emotions. And off course because the food tastes good, but beyond that I rarely eat because I´m hungry. The mako induced sleep which I seem to fall when I´m injured seems to take great portion out of my stamina. So there is the explanation of my behavior." I told them.

They all were much less worried, but Vincent was still suspicious. As ever. I could actually tell things from his stoic expression. It was same thing. If you have looked in the mirror an changed your emotions and readed your self, then it should be easy to do that to others. And besides Sephiroth was as stoic than he was, I was even more of a one.

XXX

"_As I sit here frozen alone,_

_Even ghosts get tired and go home,_

_As they crawl back under the stones._

_And I wish there was something._

_Please tell me there's something better._

_And I wish there was something more than this,_

_Saturated loneliness."_

It was going to be a surprise. For Sephiroth... and Marlene. I didn't want any of them to come to spoil the surprise. Shopping for little kids and a picky husband was hard work. All her activities, hobbies, clothes, and toys—right down to her favorite foods. Some of it was just over priced bullshit, but absolutely necessary for the World's Most Perfect Little Girl! _What about her?_ She indirectly inherited Sephiroth's cleanliness, vouch for food, and the love for knowledge. (He won't admit it, but also the knowledge of hair-care). As for me? All my complete and utter mellow-drama _bullshit_ that Sephiroth _cannot_ resist!

As for the husband? Well, that's for the imagination. My inner fashionesta-homosexual was coming loose. (Sephiroth was guaranteed to _love_ the outfit). It was fashionable! Sensational! And absolutely _expensive_... Shopping for a robust, crude, dirt-phobe, and dead-beat sexy man was even harder than for little girls. It had to give his body the coyness of his rock hard abs! The presence of that hard-core man-meat. But most of all, his ass had to look good, and utterly spank-a-licious.

As for myself? Nothing but gorgeous and family friendly.

Nearly 3,000 gil went straight down the drain, but _well_ worth it! I'm sure Sephiroth won't mind helping to foot the bill. Now, how am I supposed to lug this stuff and rearrange the office in time before Prince Charming and King Meat-Skewer comes home from slashing paper work?

Simple, you run fast and drink your _Gatorade_!! Umm... _electrolytes_!!

By the time Sir Butch-Leather-Pants-a-lot came home, I, poor Sir Uke-Spikes was _exhausted_. Getting filled with electrolytes was damn hard work.

Sephiroth stopped dead in his tracks. His super-cleanliness-senses were tingling! All of Cloud's office was now in disarray in the living room

"Cloud, why is the office in the living room?"

"Oh, _that_... Well, you see—it's just going to be a surprise!"

He hates surprises, "What _kind_ of surprise."

I couldn't help but smile, "Something for the two people I would gladly lay my life for."

Sephiroth raised his eyebrow and went straight to the former-office.

"Holy shit!"

I only grinned, "Marlene can't just _sleep_ on the couch."

Then he looked at me, oh shit, it's that 'how much did you actually spend' look.

"It wasn't much I swear!! I'm sure you can help foot the bill! It's all for here!"

"How _much_?"

I chocked a little, "3 grand?"

All he did was _sigh_.

"I'll deal with it just this _once_."

"She needs a place in _your_ apartment too Sir!"

I _knew_ he would recognize that voice! It was the voice of pleading 3rd class lieutenant, who is ready to serve to the death, but all euthuastic about it at the same time. In english it meant that I was going to seduce him to get me what I wanted.

"Are you sayin' that to _me_ Lieutenant?"

"Well, sir, our sex life will be reduced from the presence of a child. And their's nothin' wrong with her having two rooms; Zack _can_ baby-sit her."

I suddenly became immobile; his serious eyes locking me into position. They glowed a sensual green. My favorite.

"And Lieutenant, what do you suggest since our sex life will be reduced?" His breath becoming hot against my ear.

I grinned, and breathed just as hotly, "Let's not taint her room, sir."

What happened after that was a big blur. I remembered the taste of strawberry syrup, semen, and sweat. And he turned into the General while love making. It felt the same as his private self, only he knew where to touch and touch it hard. No gimmicks, no slow-down—_fantastic_!

It was nice having desert before dinner. Especially when it was a silver-haired meat-cake you were serving up.

XXX

Appointment day, and I had to go on a "rescue" mission tomorrow. It better not be anything serious.

It was creepy in the labs as always. I wasn't scared only little bit mystified. I went in from the door and surprise, surprise, Hojo _and _Gast were both there.

"Cloud. How nice to meet you again." Gast said to me nicely.

"As well professor, as well." I said back. I wasn't going to say anything about the tinted mako or about the other test that made me want to die. Surprisingly Hojo was there._ I thought that Vincent had taken care of him. Or then this was just a cheap copy of him. Who could know?_

Take off your uniform and go to the examination table." Hojo ordered me.

I did as he said without complaint. Gast fastened the restraints around me, and Hojo took various kinds of mixtures and medications from cabinets and laid them into a tray.

Gast started by giving me mako, then some more J-cells, S-cells and G-cells. The mix was _horrible_. I were sure that if I wouldn't been restrained I would have lashed out of the examination table faster than eye could see. Then everything went black.

"_Making spinal nerve analysis.."_

XXX

"_And I wish I could feel it,_

_And I wish I could steal it,_

_Abduct it, corrupt it, but I never can._

_It's just saturated loneliness._

_Does the silence get lonely?_

_Does the silence get lonely?_

_Who knows?_

_I've been hearing it tell me,_

_I've been hearing it tell me,_

_Go home."_

I was laying on my belly. It wasn't a nice position to be. I grunted. Immediately, I heard Hojo's voice cackling beside me.

"Now now. What we find was the most interesting thing yet. You may go now." He dismissed me. I got up and glanced my PHS. 7 hours passed!

I went to the mirror on the other side of the room. I was full of cuts again. There were needle marks on my arms and stamp like marks everywhere else. And my back hurt. _A lot_.

I started to put my uniform back. I swayed a little.

"_No giving up!" _I heard Tifa's voice encouraging me.

I left from the lab and came to the lobby. No one was there. _That's odd. _I thought until I glanced the clock again. 4 AM! _Shit!_

Talk about time rushing by! Then, I saw it..

There was grand piano at the lobby. The memories..

_**I was teaching Marlene how to play piano. It was a wonderful time. Before I had at my younger years before coming in SOLDIER, I played the piano a lot. There was those times when at my apartment after coming from tiring mission I went straight to the piano and just played.**_

I didn't even notice before I was sitting before the grand piano. I opened the lid and started to play. I played the moonlight sonata. All of the parts. I, II and III. It was such a beautiful piece. So lonely, haunting, taunting. But extremely beautiful.

"_**I love coming home and you're playing. Nice to have a free concert. I would prefer it for you to play something not so sad. I thought I made you happy."**_ Sephiroth used to say—almost teasingly.

I liked the III best. It was so fast, like fighting. It was intoxicating. I was so keen on my playing I didn't understand there were people watching me.

I just continued. Sonata in A (Turkish March), It was such an easy piece. And I loved the lightness of it. It was kind of happy piece and the same time it wasn't. But it was light. And receptive. Like all of the kata.

"_**That's what I love to hear."**_

"_**Play some more Papa Cloud!"**_

Then Valse - Op.64 No.1 - in Db (Minute Waltz).. Light also. But nothing like easy. It sounded easy but it wasn't even close to being one. When that was over I closed the lid carefully and straighten up. Until now I hadn't noticed that there were watchers.

Sephiroth, Vincent, Zack, Kunsel, Rufus, some secretaries, Genesis, Angeal, some Cadets, Tseng, Reno and others who I didn't recognize.

"I. Um. I'm sorry for ." I tried saying.

"Bravo.. That was wonderful. I hope you can attend to the Gala next week?" Rufus asked me. Sephiroth silently nodded behind him.

"Um. Yes? Yes sir." I said.

**Calm down!**

"**I would be extremely happy to attend to the Gala sir. Next week you said? It's wonderful. Would you like me to play there also, Sir?**"

"Yes if that's possible." Rufus said.

"**Yes. I'm most content that I'll be there and I promise to play, Sir. Just next time. Any requests, Sir?**"Angel asked by my voice.

"Not now that I know of. I'll make a list or something to you."

"**Thank you, Sir. May I go now?**"

"Yes. Dismissed Strife as all the rest of you as well." He said. And we all left.

XXX

We were again at Sephiroth's apartment. I needed to sleep few hours before I went to the mission in slums with Zack and my group.

"Get some sleep Cloud." Sephiroth said. I just nodded to him and went to have a shower.

After that I toweled myself and winced few times when I was toweling my back. I hoped that Sephiroth didn't notice. But that was false hope. Off course, he noticed.

When I was on my way to the bedroom to have a nap he stopped me and examined my back.

"Is your back okay?" Sephiroth asked.

"A little bit of pain has never killed anyone." I said.

"Yes it has." Sephiroth said and went to get coffee on for the morning. I had only one hour to sleep before getting up. And today I was tired. It wasn't normal for me to be tired, but I needed to sleep sometimes.

When I woke up after that brief catnap, Sephiroth had already made food to us and there was coffee at the table.

"I need to go by my own apartment. I need some papers." I said.

"It's okay. Remember to take at least few back-up weapons before leaving." He said.

"Yeah I'll do that." I said smiling. And then I was on my way, to my first mission.

XXX

When I got to my own apartment I immediately went to the computer and started hacking to Hojos files. They were like bizarre notes from time to time without any indicator about who and what was done which for. I didn´t find what I was looking for, until I remembered that in this life I wasn´t Hojos labrat. I was a SOLDIER for fucks sake. I hacked to my own files and checked what they had done to me.

They had opened my back and examined my spine and placed some more Jenova cells to repair the damage which had came from Johns sword. Then a bit of mako to seal everything up. Then some more cellular tests and of course more mako and cells. _Does the torture ever end?_

They had find out that I had more mako and Jenova cells in me than I should had. They had made a point about it to my file. I would need mako more often. I was happy that I could administrate the shots by my self. And if I couldn´t do it I could go to the hospital wing. They administrated the mako there as well.

_Time to get going. _

I took the finished mission papers and left.

xxx

I waited in the gathering room. I was in a traditional SOLDIER 3rd uniform and katana flashing in my back. My hair was in a leash that didn´t alloy it to run free, so that it would not been so much of a problem if there would been an attack at us at some point. Zack was standing beside me. His own modified sword hanging on his back. It was actually pretty nice. Next to Zack was Reno. He had been promoted to a Turk Trainee. So he was leading one of the groups.

They all were now here. After 5 minutes of waiting.

"I'll say which group you'll all will be at. First, group 1. Which is my group. Abbot and Bailey. Gather around there. Then group 2. Which will be led by Lieutenant General Zack Fair SOLDIER 1st class. Be nice to him and listen to what he says. Adams and Abney you are in that group. Then group 3. Which will be leaded by Reno, a Turk trainee. Eberly and Lanham you are in this group. Listen also what Reno says. Nobody messes with the Turks understand? So be careful." I said with a smirk.

"Now to our objective. There are many criminals and anti-Shin-Ra groups down there. If you see any. Kill them or capture them. It's either way. Then to our other objective. Each of you have a photograph in your packages, yes?"

"Sir, Yes Sir!"

"Good. Now the girl's name is Marlene. She's about six or seven. I want you all to pay attention to what I say. There is a reward to anyone who finds her or gives us information about her whereabouts. If you find legitimate information or if you find her and bring her to me, you will be personally rewarded."

"Sir, is she a criminal?" Eberly asked.

"No. She's not a criminal. She's.. She's.. A very important person's daughter. So I want you to find her. And keep her safe. And if anyone of you harms her anyway. I'll promise you I will personally make it happen that you wish that you have never ever even born! Is this clear?"

"Sir YES sir!" They all chanted.

"Good. Now lets go. And remember your SOLDIER honor!" I shouted and we all took off.

XXX

_At the slums.. _

"Shit! Lieutenant! Are you all right sir?!"

_Who's voice is this?.. Yeah the mission. I protected Marlene and my group._

I picked up myself from the ground. Marlene still safely in my arms.

"Yes, yes. I'm quite fine. I just didn't expect that." I breathed. _God it hurts._

Marlene was unconscious. I gave her to Abbot. He was mostly unharmed. I took my katana again out off the harness that is was and turned around only to find several people guns in their hands coming to our direction.

"Stay behind me at all times. Especially you Abbot. I don't care what happens to us. She's the only one that needs to be safe. Is that clear?" I said behind my teeth.

"Yes Sir! Watch Out!"

The warning came almost too late. The bullet scratched my left arm. It wasn't as bad wound as the others that I already had. I sliced the next bullets. And then I was just a whirlwind. I took the gunman's down under 30 seconds. A new record.

"_What happened in there? Is everything alright?" _I heard the radio saying. I was swaying a little. This battle had been around almost three hours.

_SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!_

"What do I answer to them, Sir?" Bailey asked from me.

"Say that everything is alright and tell them to meet us at the gate at sector 6." I said.

"Everything is ok. Meet us at the gate at sector 6." he said to the radio.

"_Understood. Over and out." _I heard Reno and Zack saying.

XXX

When we reached the gate they all were there already. Zack was supporting someone at the same style as Bailey was supporting me. It came no surprise that one.

"Did everything went well?" I hear Reno ask from Zack. They clearly didn't know that we were here.

"Yes. We captured one. And killed a few. You?" Zack asked.

"Killed more than few. These are ready for the SOLDIER exams. They have good portion of skill." Reno said.

I noticed that my hair had slipped out of its bonds. The gold glittered in the night. It was actually quite beautiful. _What the hell am I thinking. _

I saw movement on the rooftop. There was sniper head pointing straight to Zacks' back. I quickly threw Bailey over my back straightly to Abbot so they went down and at the same time shielded Marlene. I started running my SOLDIER induced speed. It would be hard to get there this fast.

"Zack! NOOOO!!!" I shouted at the same time as I collocated with him and I felt something hitting to my unprotected back. We both went down and in seconds, the chaos was there. Reno shot the sniper man who was on the rooftop. There were shouts everywhere and gunshots was heard. The enemy came at us and I took them on with open arms. I knew everything would be allright. Me and Zack took care of them, all thought that awarded me a new injury. I bullet wound to my shoulder.

Zack took me into a hug that was resigned to hold me up without me getting hurt too badly. Then he laid me to my stomach said.

"Do we have a medic here with us?!" Zack franticly asked Reno.

"Yes. Him." Reno said pointing in my direction.

"He's the only one who knows what to do in situation like this one." Reno continued.

My group had came closer. I watched them silently at my vantage point.

"We need to get him to medic." I heard Zack saying. Then I sensed that I was carried back to Shin-Ra.

My consciousness was shifting in and out of my dreamily like state.

"It. It's not. Hurting. Any. More." I said quietly. There was no pain. My mind made it seem bad.

"Shh. Be quiet Cloud don't tire yourself. And don't you dare to get back to sleep!" Reno said to me.

_Blackness._

"What do you mean you can't heal him normally?" It was Sephiroth's voice.

"I found.. Marlene. Is. Is. She here?" I said slowly.. I wasn´t sure that I had said that out loud or if it was just my imagination.

"Just be reasonable. If you don't heal him. Then I will."

I managed to understand that High potion was fed to me. Then the coolish feeling of being healed. I shouted. It felt exactly the same as the geostigma did. It absorbs all the healing materia and potions and it still doesn't heal.

"We suspect that there was some kind of poison in the bullet and knifes."

"Is that so? Well DO something about it! Use esuna or something!" I heard Sephiroth shouting at the medic. It was horrid. I opened my eyes. I was at the sickbay. At the emergency room to be exact. There where various kind of machines hooked to me. Basic life support, blood, medicine tubes. The list was endless. My heart monitor was beeping slowly. Until it rose as I woke up properly.

I think I made some kind of sound as now only sound in the room was my heart monitor and my soft breathing. I moved my head slightly. Not a good idea.

It was terrible to speak throw oxygen tube. Actually impossible. I started panicking. IT was too hard. The air was too dry. My lungs worked just fine. Or so I thought. I took hold of the tube by my left hand that was less damaged and got ready for the pain and the hardness of breathing on my own, until I felt Sephiroth's hand grip my hand.

"Let go of it Cloud."

I just looked him with pain-filled eyes.

"We need to get him into surgery. You can see him after it." Some medic said who I didn't see here.

"That's okay." I heard Sephiroth saying. His hand took my smaller one and took it away from the tube.

His lips, those perfect lips came close to my ear and whispered, "I'll see you soon, my love. Marlene is with Zack. Try to persuade Jenova, Gaia and Angel to heal you as fast as they can okay?" He said so softly that even I had difficulties to hear him.

I brushed his hand in a mean of understanding then I traveled to my mind.

XXX

"_Cause the freaks are playing tonight._

_They packed up and turned out the lights._

_And I wish there was something,_

_Please tell me there's something better._

_And I wish there was something more than this,_

_Saturated loneliness."_

I was in a familiar flower field. Angel was there as well. I was lying on his lap. He was brushing my hair which was now longer and Sephiroth like. It was spikier at the back but above that it was exactly like Sephiroth's.

Jenova was standing before us with Gaia. They were both beautiful. And they were at my side now. Gaia had forgiven me even though she was still angry at my decision. Now that I had my real memories that is.

"I'm sorry. Your wounds and changes are present here as well." Angel said to me.

"Wounds?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah. You were shot at the back, Scraped by bullets, knifes and some Wutaian made a mess with your ribs which weren't really healed even before properly." Angel explained.

"Sephiroth ordered me to ask you. Could you heal me? They need me soon, Marlene. I want to see my little girl soon." I sobbed.

"Shh. Cloud. _Shhhh_. We'll take care of everything." Jenova said to me. She had this motherly tone on her voice. And I knew that Gaia couldn't stand that at all.

She crept closer to me. Took my head in the gap of her hands and concentrated. Mako was flowing fierily inside of me as did the cells which were inside of me as well. It was burning.

Then, I was back on my bed. The tube in my lungs and many others were all in me. My heart monitor was beeping as there weren't tomorrow and I couldn't get enough air.

Sephiroth was standing right beside me. He was shouting another medic to come. I was trashing badly.

The medic came and quickly took the tube carefully out of my throat.

"Are you alright Cloud?" They both asked from me. I was panting but my heart was calming down slowly but surely. Then it hit me. There was still pain, but it was as evident as it had been back before. Then the planet's pain rushed to me by Cetra and everything blacked out for nanosecond.

"Your eyes are glowing too much, why?" The medic asked from me.

"I..."

"There weren't any complications in the surgery. Everything went fine. We should examine your wounds. You shouldn't be up or even breathing on your own. Even Sephiroth couldn't be up this fast." The medic said.

I quietly lifted myself up from the bed and went standing. When I moved there wasn't almost at all any pain present. Except for the planets pain which I was familiar enough.

The medic lifted my shirt and started unwrapping the dressings. Then he gasped.

"How can this be possible? There's no wound. Only a scar. It looks like you have gain this wound months ago!" The medic said in awe.

"He has unusually high amount of mako in my system. It's because of Nibelheim. He's from there." Sephiroth explained for me. My mouth was as dry as a desert. It was because of fear. Hojo already knew about my high Mako count. It would be dangerous to be close to him. I too big mako administration and I would slash to every direction.

"Well then. Strife you are good to go. You SOLDIERs are robust creatures." The medic said and started taking all the medical supplies and tubes out of me. Sephiroth gave me my uniform. The medic was ready and I quickly dressed myself.

We left side by side and went straight to Sephiroth's apartment. Which was as good as mine now.

Immediately when we went inside Marlene was running towards us.

"Papa Cloud, Papa Sephy! Welcome home! When I saw you, I knew _you_! I knew I wasn't dreamin'!" She shouted cheerfully and gave a big hug to us both.

"She has been waiting for you to come back. She gained her memories and has been looking for you in the slums a long time." Zack explained at the same time from the kitchen as he was making dinner.

"Papa Cloud! Papa Sephy said that you have been hu't. Is every'hing ok'y?" She asked from me.

"Yeah everything is okay my lovely. I have a present for you. Can you wait a second as I change clothes and then we will all go and get your present?" I asked her with a smile on my lips.

"Yes. Thanks Papa Cloud!" She said, Hugging and kissing me and went happily to sit in Sephiroth's lap. It was somehow strange to see someone sitting in Sephiroths lap. _People hided from Sephiroth they didn´t went and sat on his lap_. I laughed at that thought

I went to our bedroom and took white suits and white dress shoes and half long white jacket with silver embroidery at the hem. I also took a Wakisasi and left it to my belt. It had a white and silver hilt and white sheath. It was very nice looking but as deathly as any weapon maybe even more so.

When I got back to the living room they all looked at me with awe.

"You look a full lot of Rufus... " Sephiroth said me.

"The dinner is ready when you get back. Have fun guys." Zack said to us. I took Marlene by hand as did Sephiroth and we left quietly.

We stopped to my apartments door. I had prepared this before. Actually immediately after I remembered Marlene's existence and meaning in our lives. I pulled the key from my pocket and we all went in.

"Now baby girl. Stay here with Seph okay? I'll visit in the other room so I can get your welcome back present. " I said to her sweetly.

She only giggled, "Yes Papa Cloud." She said and allowed Sephiroth to lead her to sofa and to his lap.

I went straight to my wardrobe. From there I got a very big present box. It was pink and had silver and gold dressing in it.

I went back to my living room where Sephiroth was telling some kind of story to Marlene.

"And then we went to a cave. There was a beautiful mako spring inside. It was so clear it was like a mirror. And it was so bright that we didn't need flashlights. It was most perfect shade of green and blue." He told her with a soft voice. Oh, I remember this story—it was a healing spring mission—one of his first missions as a young boy.

He stopped and looked at me. She did as well.

"Marlene, honey. Here's your present." I said and laid it to the ground. She immediately came and started opening it.

Inside of the big box was a beautiful pink little girls dress, it was handmade and the most expensive Wutaian silk. Then there was a _big_ Moogle doll which Marlene hugged and set aside. Then to the best part. There was a long black box. In it was a necklace. It was silver on the other side and gold on the other side and it had small green and yellow stone on the both side. It was a handmade locket. Inside of it was Sephiroth's picture and mine.

"Thank you Papa Cloud!" She shouted and ran to hug me. I lifted her up and hugged her tightly. I loved her more than life. We both did.

"Why don't you go with Sephy to get dressed." I said lovingly.

"Yes, Papa Cloud." She said and ran with her precious dress, locket and Moogle doll to my bedroom.

"There is an attire for you to wear also in the bedroom. It's a black suit. There is also a wakisasi for you in there." I said with a smile.

He started walking towards my bedroom with a smile on his lips. In twenty minutes they were ready and came out. Sephiroth had entirely black outfit. A basic suit under and then black half long jacket with silvery outlines. The wakisasi I had gotten him was black and had silver dragon on it. He was looking fabulous. Then again Marlene. She was like a princess. She had the locket in her neck and she looked sweet. I bet that where we were going all the lady's would be all over us and her mostly.

"Where are we going Cloud?" Sephiroth asked me silently.

"I'm not going to tell. It's going to be a surprise." I said with a smile. He only sighed and Marlene smiled at us happily. We took hold of her little hands and started walking slowly towards the elevator.

At there were few cadets patrolling and they asked our identification. Off course we were both known along the Shin-Ra army but it was system that was recommending to check everybody's identifications at anytime. And any recommendations were as good as orders.

"Oh. General Sephiroth, sir, Second Lieutenant Strife, sir and of course the little Miss." The cadets chanted us.

"Tell us Cadets. What do think about our attire?" Sephiroth asked with a smile. It was uncommon to Sephiroth to smile. It was that kind of nice smile. True smile. That almost made the Cadets speechless until they were smiling also.

"Well. Both of you gentlemen. I mean sirs look absolutely fabulous and little Miss here is like a little angel. She's adorable with the Moogle doll." The other cadet said with a smile.

"Oi Sephiroth. Don't scare them." I said with a smile on my lips.

"Thank you mister." Marlene said shyly. Then our elevator came and we went in.

"Have a nice evening sirs, miss." The cadets chanted again. But true and smiles gracing us.

XXX

We were at the front of Shin-Ra building. It was a little bit windy but it was nice and warm summer evening. We were truly happy.

"What are we waiting for?" Marlene asked.

"You'll see soon enough darling." I said with a smile. She wasn't impatient, she just wanted to know.

The limousine which I had ordered came around the corner and stopped straight in front of us. It was white and stylish and obviously expensive.

"Cloud. You _got _to be kidding me. Are we going to some kind of Shin-Ra ball?" Sephiroth quietly murmured to my ear as we were going in to the limo. Marlene was like she was living her big dream. We both knew that we could never deny anything from her. She would always have everything.

"_No_. We are not going to Shin-Ra ball. That's next week. Vincent promised to keep Marlene safe." I said quietly to Sephiroth.

The limo started moving and I opened a side box which had campaign and two glasses in it. I gave Sephiroth a full glass knowing that it would not get him drunk in anyway. And to Marlene I had Cherry Soda. It was her favorite.

And the we were in front of the Midgar grand theater. It was playing LOVELESS. It was limited to 1000 seats. And I had gotten us a V.I.P seats. The limo door was opened by the theater personnel and we eased our way out. We were standing at the red carpet and the magazines were here to photograph us. Marlene was enjoying the attention full heartily.

Knowing the media, the stores were going to run out of Moogle dolls.

We went in and straight to the upper theater which was limited to V.I.P personnel only. There was a bodyguards and few theater employees to check our identifications.

"Have a nice time, Mister Strife, Mister Valentine, Miss Valentine." He told us smiling and let us in. It was a nice little cabinet. Only three seats were available and they were in the front row. On our back was some guy named Enrode and then there was President Shin-Ra with his son Rufus Shin-Ra and wife Lady Albreda Shin-Ra.

"It's nice to see you here Cloud, Sephiroth. And who is this little lady?" Rufus asked from us. We all bowed to him.

"President Shin-Ra, Vice-President, Lady." We chanted with smile.

"She is our daughter, Marlene Valentine." Sephiroth said smiling.

"Nice to meet you Miss Valentine." Rufus said and took hold of our daughters hand and kissed it lightly. Marlene curtseyed gracefully and said:

"Nice to meet you too, Vice-President Rufus Shin-Ra." She said with a smile. I looked her in awe.

"And who is the little creature with you Miss Valentine?"

"Mr. Moog is his name. And he is very pleased to meet the son of the President."

_When did she learned the etiquette and all the important people and their ranks? And when did she started to pronounce correctly? _

**Sephiroth has been telling her. She also can and does read a lot. **

_Oh._

It was like she had gone from being 6,5 years to being 16. It was surprising.

**She also remembers her past life. Duh. Of course she would know the etiquette of the rich.**

"Well have a nice time, all of you." Rufus told us and we took our seats and the play begun. It was fabulous. Marlene was like shining little sun of her own. I knew that she would love LOVELESS. It was so nice play after all.

Then at some point I was starting to feel nervous and I placed my hand to the hilt of my wakisasi. I felt like being watched and aimed.

Then it happened. Someone started shooting darts at us. I reflected and took some of them. Sephiroth was shielding Shin-Ras and Marlene. We didn't know who they or him/she was targeting but they were good. Then they were gone.

"Are you all alright?" Rufus asked silently.

"I'm fine. Cloud, Marlene?" Sephiroth asked.

"Marlene's fine." I said as I took the three darts that were in my flesh out with a hiss.

"Cloud. You are bleeding." Rufus pointed.

"Give me the dart." Sephiroth ordered. I gave him one. He sniffed it once before he placed it to his pocket.

"We have to leave. I'm satisfied that the play is all most over." He said and took hold of my hand. I didn't understand what for he did that. I was just fine. There wasn't the burning sensation of poison, the wounds were clean, and they would soon be healed.

XXX

"_And I wish I could feel it,_

_And I wish I could steal it,_

_Abduct it, corrupt it, but I never can._

_It's just saturated loneliness._

_And the bath water's cold_

_And this life's getting old."_

We took a cab in front of the theater and made it back to the Shin-Ra main building. It was then when I started to get little bit hot but that wasn't an indicator about anything. As we took the elevator to the floor 66 Sephiroth made a call. I don't have any idea to whom he was calling.

"Could you come to my apartment? Yes that it correct... Yes... There was an attack at the theater... We don't have any clues who was behind it and what did they wanted... Cloud did...No... Yes you do that... Yes, see you in five."

Then we were at our floor. Sephiroth took Marlene and carried her, so that we could move faster.

"Is Papa Cloud okay?" Marlene asked at her nervous tone of voice.

"I do not know. But we will take care of everything. I promise." He said.

"Okay. But remember you promised!" She said seriously before getting comfortable and started to sleep.

We didn't confront any Cadets of anyone else for that matter. When we reached Sephiroth's apartment he went swiftly in and closed the door after I got in.

"Go rest at the sofa." He ordered me with his "General Sephiroth- voice." Only when he was terrified or in need of it he always went to the General Mode. It was actually fun to watch. But it wasn't when he was using his authority against me. We were _married_ and had a _child_ for fucks sake! I did as he told me. His sofa was big and comfy but not too much so. At the same time, Sephiroth took Marlene to sleep in her own room. He had modified the guest room to her room. There where toys and new clothes and all the Shin-Ra protective technical devises that he could get. He didn't want anything to happen to our precious daughter.

Sephiroth and I stayed on the couch together through-out the night. Both of us taking shifts during the night in case of an attack. Unlikely for a highly secured place, but it pays to be prepared.

When I awoke, Sephiroth was already up, making breakfast and coffee.

When I came close he said, "Good morning. Marlene can sleep in, she isn't enrolled in school yet. We need to decide on one."

"I agree."

There was knock at the door and Sephiroth went to open it. Vincent and Angeal came in and straight towards me.

"You wanted to get them into this mess also? I'm just fine!" I said a little bit angrily. They all ignored me. Vincent started to get my jacket and shirt off of me. I never did change clothes from last night.

"I'm sorry that Zack and Genesis couldn't come. Genesis is in Wutai and Zack's teaching Clouds class." Angeal explained.

"It is all right. So Vincent. Found anything yet?" Sephiroth asked.

"I just got him out of his clothes. Where are the wounds?" Vincent asked seriously.

"There's one in his back and one in his chest and left hand." Sephiroth said flipping pancakes.

Vincent took my arm and started to inspect the wound on it. He licked the wound twice then he made a face and turned towards Sephiroth and Angeal.

"The wound is not severe. It should heal nicely. It will leave a scar. But to the point we were speaking earlier. It's not as severe as we feared. It's--"

"_And I wish I could feel it,_

_And I wish I could feel it,_

_And I wish I could steal it,_

_Abduct it, corrupt it._

_And I wish I could feel it,_

_And I wish I could steal it,_

_And I wish I could feel it,_

_Abduct it, corrupt it._

_But I never can,_

_I never can._

_Never Can,_

_Never Can,_

_Never Can."_

**A/N: Here's the Chap seven. I hope that you enjoyed. To the next time. I am starting a new story also. It's called "Scattered" and it will be a slave fic. A different one of that kind. It doesn't have any connection to this story though. This will not go on hiatus as I write the second story. Scattered will be updated Wednesdays. And this on Mondays. So R&R both of the stories if you would be so kind.**

**Thanks to all of my readers and to all who reviewed and thanks to my lovely beta: Original-Botticella. **

**B/N: Original-Botticella here! Phew! Got this as quickly as possible. My exams are coming up and I have ass-loads of essays to finish or get started on. Wish me luck! Oh, and by the way, Marlene in their previous lives was ****not**** the result of mpreg. She's ****adopted****! Got it? Good.**

**A/N2: Oh and there are other things too.. Cloud got the Sephy hair back when he was training.. Before the lab apointment. Sephy is taking care of the new hair. And it´s doing good.. **

**I´m not out of ideas yet, but if there´s anything you want to see or read or any ideas then R&R or mail me or something about them. I will take them into the story at some point. So be no afraid. There is also "Ask anything from Logoht"-weeks now. From this chap to the next one. So remember to R&R. Thanks to you all :)**


	9. Chapter 8 OLD

**A/N: Hellou all. I want to thank you my lovely beta: Original-Botticella and my readers and all of you who R&R. Thanks. **

** So to the point. This chap is all about Wutai and memories and it´s looong. It took me forever to get it done. I´m going to write somethings again when we reach chapter ten. I´m not satisfied about everything. So there will be changes, but it won´t change the big events. It´s all about giving you more information about things. And some new chapters will come along the way. It would be good if you read these new chapters as well.**

** Have fun reading this you all. I hope you enjoy. And remember to R&R. It really means a lot. And I will answer to every single R&R, I promise! So do it. Thanks.**

**8. When the sky isn´t Cloudy anymore.**

_The Smashing Pumpkins - Blank Page_

_"Blank page is all the rage_

_Never meant to say anything_

_In bed I was half dead_

_Tired of dreaming of rest_

_Got dressed drove the state line_

_Looking for you at the five and dime_

_Stop sign told me stay at home_

_Told me you were not alone"_

So many things happened at the time. Well now. There was the attack at the theater, we found Marlene, me getting hurt pretty badly, the planet and Jenova, Vincent. Everything. I never had the time to do what I came here to do. I didn´t have time to practice, or sort my memories. I didn´t know what was true. Who am I? That´s the question of the day. What´s true? What has happened to me and what has not? What is this? Those questions were something I needed to find answers.

I was so sure about everything. On the outside I mean. I was _the _Second Lieutenant, SOLDIER 3rd Class Cloud fucking Strife. That was who I was. But that was only the outside. On the inside I was so unsure about everything. I didn´t know what to do. What should I do?

xxx

Vincent took my arm and started to inspect the wound on it. He licked the wound twice then he made a face and turned towards Sephiroth and Angeal.

"The wound is not severe. It should heal nicely. It will leave a scar. But to the point we were speaking earlier. It´s not as severe as we feared. It´s..." Vincent said.

"Yes. What it is?" Sephiroth sounded annoyed.

"It´s something what we called at our time... _GEOSTIGMA._" Vincent said slowly.

"No. It can´t be!" I shouted frankly.

"No... I won´t let it be true. I can´t. They can´t put me throw this again. Last time was enough. I can´t stand it again. I won´t. This ends now!" I shouted and started running towards my apartment. I ran fast. I came to my apartments door, I opened it and closed it carefully. Locking all the locks that I had on my door. People could think I was paranoid but I didn´t care.

I went to my bathroom and started to inspect my skin then I traveled to my inside world.

xxx

**Sephiroth's PoV**

Cloud had ran away so fast that any of us couldn´t even understand it before he was gone and the apartment door was sealed again.

"What is Geostigma?" I asked. I wanted to know what hurt Cloud so I could deal with it. I didn´t want anything to hurt _my _Cloud at any way. It would give me a perfect cause to break havoc and break Shin-Ra for once and for all.

"Geostigma. It´s a symptom of alien matter infesting the body. The body tries to eliminate it, but over compensates. Inside our bodies as a current like the life-stream, that current is what fights off any level of intruders." Vincent explained

"What do you mean by intruder?" Angeal asked.

"The Sephiroth gene. Jenova's mimetic legacy. Call it what you want." Vincent answered.

"But in this world there can´t be Geostigma. All of Jenova is inside of Cloud now. Except which is in Laboratories. And all of the Mako and J-, G- and S-Cells are going to go to Cloud, Genesis, Angeal or to me. So there can´t be anything left of the false Legacy of Jenova. And as Cloud told you Jenova is also in his side. So that can´t be true. Unless the Planet has someone who has the geostigma ready and wants to get rid of Jenova. How long time Cloud has until the Geostigma starts to show?" I asked.

"I don´t know. I´d say he has few days. But geostigma is slow virus. It doesn´t move quick. It takes your energy and tries to get the Jenova out and the two known cures are different. The first one is the way that Jenova is taking control of you and your body. You are a mere bug, a puppet after that. The other is the healing water, which off course don´t exist in this world. We need to go and see Aerith. She will know what to do with Cloud, like always. So the body starts attacking itself. It´s the same kind of disease as AIDS was at the start of 2000. No cure available and it takes your power and leaves you unprotected to all other kinds of illnesses. Then even if you got something as cough. It could easily kill you." Vincent explained.

"So. What should we do now? Why did Cloud react like he did and what is he going to do?" Angeal asked.

"I don´t know. That wasn´t Cloud at all. Geostigma has caused him great sadness and pain before. Much more than I did at your past. So what would I..." I spoke my thoughts out loud.

"He has been very depressed. I can see the symptoms. He has taken the medication. All of it. It doesn´t matter what he promised to us. He wants to take his life I think. But I can´t be sure. He can´t think rationally. That´s the cause of his sudden change of doing things." Vincent said sadly.

"Well then we can´t allow that to happen can we? So let´s get going and stop this madness." Angeal said. We left to find Cloud. We couldn´t allow this to happen.

xxx

_"Blank page was all the rage_

_Never meant to hurt anyone_

_In bed I was half dead_

_Tired of dreaming of rest_

_You haven't changed_

_You're still the same_

_May you rise as you fall_

_You were easy you are forgotten"_

We came to Cloud's door. Vincent tested the key and the electric lock showed us green, but the door didn´t move.

"Has he gotten any new locks recently?" Angeal asked us.

"I didn´t notice anything last time I visited here. But he´s kind of paranoid about certain things and I´m sure he wants to have all the security possible. It´s because of Marlene I think." Vincent said.

"Do we need to brake the door down or can someone pick the locks?" Angeal asked.

"I´m sorry but I don´t have no idea of how to pick locks. I certainly aren´t going to break throw yet. It would be wise from us to try calling him. He had his phone with him." I said.

"I can pick any locks that comes to my way. But still it would be wise to call Cloud first." Vincent said.

I took my phone from my pocket and dialed Clouds number and waited. From the apartment started the unfamiliar tune.

_Beautiful, You are beautiful__._

_As beautiful as the sun._

_Wonderful, You are wonderful__._

_As wonderful as they come__._

"Well that was a surprise." I said.

"No. Not really. That what he´s thinking about you. I´ll try calling him. If he would rather answer to me." Vincent said and dialed Clouds number. There was a different tune this time.

_The world is a vampire,_

_set to drain._

_Secret destroyers_

_Hold you up to the flames._

_And what do I get,_

_from my pain?_

_Great desires!_

"Okay. _That _was a surprise. Well. He don´t want to answer to me. Or he can´t. Why don´t you try Angeal?" Vincent said.

Angeal nodded and then dialed Clouds number. Again different tune was played.

_Close your eyes_

_Until the sunlight dies_

_In your head above thousand stars_

_Throw the darkness_

_you can see a light_

_and they steal your light _

_your heart is this in mine._

"He´s not answering to me either." Angeal said. He didn´t comment the song choice anyway.

"Okay Vincent. Pick the lock." I said.

Vincent immediately went to the door and started to get doing whatever it was he was doing. In few minutes the door was open and we walked in, closing the door as we passed.

"Cloud! Are you in here?" Angeal shouted. He didn't get an answer. We started exploring the apartment. First kitchen then the guest bedroom then master bedroom. Until I remembered that Cloud had a bathroom attached to the master bedroom. We went silently in and found Cloud laying on the tiles. There was some blood and black goo coming from his mouth and his right arm had some black goo also.

"The geostigma has defeated him. It shouldn´t move this fast. Cloud is the strongest person I have ever known! He shouldn´t be this easily defeated." Vincent with neutral tone.

"What can we do about this?" Angeal asked.

"Just tuck him into bed. I´ll talk with Sephiroth about the treatment and how to get contact with Aerith." Vincent said. Angeal lifted Clouds lithe form from the floor and walked to the bed. Me and Vincent went to the living room and Vincent started immediately make coffee to us. It had been a strange day.

xxx

"So. Is there a cure available?" I asked silently. Aerith was coming over. She was right on her way and Angeal was going to get her in to the Shin-Ra SOLDIER area, without nobody noticing too much about anything.

"Aerith has some idea, as always and that´s about it. We can´t do more than wait. If his condition is going to worse we must get him to the infirmary or to the labs. I´m sure that Gast and Hojo have something about everything. So we don´t have to worry too much. I just wouldn't want that Cloud would suffer again in the labs. He has never come of that fear. He isn´t even Human. At any rate I mean. It should be impossible for him to be sick like this. He´s a Cetra, has many different Alien cell on him, Too much Mako and Drugs pumped to him everyday and above all he´s a WEAPON. So it´s impossible." Vincent explained.

"He´s. a WEAPON you say?" I asked wearily.

"Yes. I know about only because of our AVALANCHE days. How are you else expecting him to hear the planet and have all that power in his palm without even realizing how powerful he can be?" He said again.

"Yes. Well I have wondered many times how he beat me in the reactor. It was so strange. And they said he wasn´t SOLDIER material. There isn´t anything else in him than SOLDIER material." I said.

"Yes that´s true. He´s completely emotionless all the time. He has to force his emotion to unroll all teh time because else they would be locked inside of him all the time. He did that a lot when we were fighting against you. He never smiles. It´s like he has nothing to smile for. He thinks he´s alone and that he has deserved everything bad that comes his way. He´s afraid to love. He loves you. Unconditionally. He´s devoted to you and only to you. He would do anything for you." He said.

"How can he think that way... I have never seen him complaining. Never. He just accepts everything as it had been decided long time ago that all the misfortune would come his way. He doesn´t fight against it. I´m afraid about what happens when he goes to Wutai. If the same things happen that happened last time we might lose him forever." Vincent said.

"What do mean by happening? It´s not like Cloud will change. He´s fragile, but not in that way. He can do things that are out of our reach." I said vaguely.

"Yes that is true. But back in our AVALANCHE days. He became cold. Cold towards everything. The same like cold that you are famous for, but stronger. People are afraid of you. Back in the days when Cloud was cold. People were terrified. They left him alone. That is the only thing he has ever known. Now he has you and all of his friends, but I doubt that he has us all at the end of the war. And now the GEOSTIGMA. It will make him very cold towards everyone. He doesn´t want anyone to get hurt. So he will run away. That´s his way out. It always has been." Vincent said.

There was a knock on the door and I opened it. It was Aeris.

"Where is he?" He asked silently. I have never seen her miserable but still, now she was.

"At the bedroom." I said and went with her to see Cloud and Angeal.

Cloud was laying on the bed, Angeal was wiping his face. There was the black goo everywhere. Cloud appeared to be in great pain. He was wreathing around and Angeal had to keep him down at times. Suddenly as we stepped in his eyes opened and he clearly looked at me.

The sound that came forward wasn´t his at any point. His eyes were greener than anything I´ve ever seen. There was a hint of blue in the mix.

"**WEAPON****...****Danger****...**** Life****...**** Emotion****...**** Bad****.**** Weapon."** Was all that came forth.

It was the planet speaking to us through Cloud. After that he went completely slack and I run forward to check that he was alive.

"This is bad. The planet said that Cloud is a WEAPON. Her weapon to be exact. He hasn´t been allowed emotion and being with Sephiroth is bad. He can´t have any emotion. It´s dangerous because then he might not do as the planet says to him." Aerith said as she came and started to heal Cloud from GEOSTIGMA.

"Is there coming anything where he has to be before Wutai?" She asked.

"There is a Shin-Ra party coming in two days. He promised to be there and play there." Angeal said.

"I didn´t know that he could play." Aerith said.

"I got him a grand piano. Didn´t you see it in the living room?" I said.

"No. I was worried." She said.

"He should be fine now. When he wakes up in few hours everything should be okay. This was a planets way to remind him what is to come if he doesn´t play with the rules of the planet." Aerith explained to us.

"Does this happen often?" I asked.

"All the time when he doesn´t do what he has to. He don´t have the right to have emotion. And he needs his emotions. Gaia doesn't understand this and is reminding him." Aerith said.

"Yes..." Angeal said. Aerith said us goodnight and left. Vincent was sitting in front of the piano playing some nice and warm tune.

Angeal and I took coffee and sat on the sofa to wait.

xxx

**Clouds PoV**

When I woke up I was in my own bed. I listened a while. There were there other people in my apartment. Someone was playing the piano. I listened to it and recognizing filled my mind. _Waldstein the third movement__.__ So pretty. _I started dressing. I didn't bother to clean up. It didn´t mean anything anymore. There was no meaning in everything. I don´t care if my memories are something they aren´t. I needed to be. Cold.

I took my SOLDIER uniform and my katana and went to the living room. Vincent was playing piano and Sephiroth and Angeal were sitting on my sofa listening and talking quietly.

I went to the kitchen, took a cup of coffee without spilling any. I drank it swiftly then took some tea and went behind the piano in front of my window. The sun was rising. It was pretty. I looked at it and suddenly there was a sudden emotion surging forward. _NO! I have no right! _I told myself and swiftly took the emotion and locked it away. Deep inside of my heart.

Vincent was finished at playing and I took his place in front of the grand piano. There was notes on the rack, but I ignored them. There was also a list of what should I be playing in the Shin-Ra gathering. I looked at it and started playing the first one that was one the list.

**Shin-Ra Ball **

**Music by Second Lieutenant Cloud Strife.**

**Pieces Played:**

**-Moonlight Sonata I,II, III**

**-Pathetique I, II, III**

**-Les Audieux I, II, III**

**-Waldstein I, II, III**

**-Hammerklavier I, II, III, IV**

**and many more.**

It was nice to let your emotions to music. I couldn´t express them anymore. I wasn´t even human. Why should I, a mere weapon of the planet allow the closeness of other humans? There was no reason. Again there was only one goal. Protect the planet. Get promoted in SOLDIER and do what is in my power to change things.

When I had played all the pieces witch were in the list I moved back to my room. There was box.. Buried in my closet. In there was a one black chocobo feather. I took it and watched it for a while. I was thinking of placing it to my hair, but it seemed that if I did, then there would be endless mass of questions about me and my feelings and everything. It was ages old Wutaian way to signal that there was nothing left. Nothing left but death, which I wasn´t alloyed. In Shin-Ra there were maybe ten people who actually understood the meaning.

There was Tseng, Vincent and few Wutai veterans. But there it was. Now that I had it on me there wasn´t a way to take it off. It would stay until I would fall in a battle or when the world was over and even then there wasn´t a way to me be dead. I would start again and again until I had accomplished my mission. That was all.

I ventured back to my living room and took my sword from where it laid against the piano and left. Vincent, Sephiroth and Angeal followed me to the training grounds. When they looked at me they found nothing. I was cold. People ahead of me just turned away. They feared me more than Sephiroth. Sephiroth would always protect the people and I would always protect the Cetra and Gaia.

I had more power than anyone in this world. I could change everything if I wanted and no one could do anything about it. It was a harsh truth but it was truth. We came to the training grounds and I was so emotionally empty that I didn´t care who I sparred with.

I glanced back and saw that Vincent was nowhere on sight. Sephiroth and Angeal watched me and I could see that they were afraid. I didn´t know and didn´t care to know why. But the thought that even those people who actually knew me were afraid of me made me feel lonely. I just wanted to escape to Wutai, fight the war and come back maybe a little more than what I was when I left. Maybe I was even alloyed little bit of emotion after the war. Then I would have done my part.. Or at least a part of my part.

I saw Zack sparring with Kunsel. I watch them fight. They looked like they were dancing. It was beautiful, but I knew that I could best them both if I wanted to. There were also some Turks, Reno and Tseng to exact and some cadets and all classes of SOLDIERs. Tseng was teaching something and the other SOLDIERs and Cadets were watching Zack and Kunsel fight. Zack spotted me in the heat of battle and said something to Kunsel.

"Oi, Cloud! Care to join?" He shouted at me. I knew that Zack wanted to grow my respect in the ranks. The sparring match would be a perfect excuse to do just that. I knew that Zack had told almost everybody who cared to listen about his _chocobohead _(Which basically meant me) who had been trained by _the _General, by himself. He was proud of me even in times when no one else wasn´t.

"Yes." I said with my eyes empty of any emotion. I wanted so bad to give Zack a encouraging smile that I felt as my heart was ready to explode by the force of it. I just pul back from the feeling and then hit it and it retreated.

I went to the sparring mats, sizing my opponents. I noticed that Sephiroth and Angeal had also shifted closer to watch the match. Also Tseng had stopped teaching and was gesturing Reno to go and watch with him witch Reno did happily. I knew he wanted to get Reno understand the meaning of this match. That I was sparring here right now because of a certain reason.

I took my katana to good two hand grip and went to the other end of the mat.

"Two High Ranked SOLDIERs against 3rd Class. Isn´t that unfair?" Someone shouted.

"It´s unfair only to Zack and Kunsel. Watch and learn." Came reply from Angeal. He was right. If I wanted a good fight I had to go against at least four others and even then I didn´t have to use all the skill I had. That was something what I wasn´t proud of. I didn´t want to misuse my power. I didn´t want to kill any of my comrades or friends just because I was careless. It had happened before..

Zack and Kunsel were plotting something. Kunsel was fighting with to short swords and Zack had his usual Buster sword. They came at me like one man. I parried them and took a go for offensive.

The fight lasted good two minutes, first one to go down was Kunsel. I used a roundkick to kick both of his weapons away from him, then I dropkicked him out of the ring. He stayed down. I was very good at kicking people. I knew it was because I was so small, and that people always underestimate me. It was fair and I used it to my advantage in every fight.

Zack came at me after that with all that he got. I just parried and then out of nowhere landed a blow to his head. He dropped to the mat and didn´t get up.

"That´s impossible!" The unknown voice said again.

_"He´s going to Wutai again."_ There was so much talking around me and I ignored it all. I turned my gaze to Sephiroth who was talking with Tseng. I heard them..

_"Somethings wrong with him." _

_"Yes.. I am aware of that."_

_"I saw absolutely no emotion in his eyes when he hit Zack." _

_"Normally he wouldn´t hit him. That was just friendly match.. I am afraid of what will happen in Wutai.." _

_"He is going there after all? I thought that now when your daughter was find he would stay.. _

"_No he is still going. He wants to get promotion and that is the fastest way to get one."_

"_I should send Reno with him.."_

"_I am not sure about that.. But.. If you want then why not."_

"_Good. I´ll notify Reno about this."_

_"Thank you Tseng." _

_"It´s nothing.. See you later at the ball General"_

_"As well. Commander."_

He said something to Angeal who went and took three SOLDIER 1st classes with him and came back. Someone had taken Kunsel and Zack to infirmary. Angeal, Sephiroth and those three came forth towards me.

"Want to test against us five?" Angeal said. He clearly wanted to give the audience a good show. I knew he had placed some bets and that there would be many coming. Who would win who? Who would drop first? Who would defeat me? Who would defeat Sephiroth? And who would win everything?

"Well, why not." I said and went back to starting position. They had already agreed to what tactic they were going to use against me. This would be a tough fight. They were all almost as strong as I was and I couldn´t use my wing. Maybe Angel and Jenova, but no Sephiroth transformation.

They had teamed. Sephiroth was fighting using Masasume and his partner Beck was using a spear. Angeal was using Buster sword and His partner Gavin was using broadsword. Then there was this third guy, Mervin who clearly was materia user. He also had throwing knifes and stars with him. I idn´t know anything about their individual styles and I knew that Sephiroth had told them everything about mine.

Sephiroth had obviously said something to someone because people were retreating so that they weren´t in our way. I hoped that I didn´t go berserk. In a fighting situation if a SOLDIER went to berserk you just pointed him to the right direction and you could as well open the campaign now, because the SOLDIER was going to kill everybody and win the war or die trying. That was all.

Sephiroth and Beck came at me from the right and Angeal and Gavin came from left, at the same time leaving space to Mervin to cast Ice 2 at me and throw one of his knifes. As I parried Sephiroth and lashed at Beck the knife hit me in to the shoulder. It wasn´t bad. I didn´t have the time to do anything about it. Angeal came from the left with Gavin. I let him go for offensive. He was blocking others way to attack me and that suited me just fine. Sephiroth came behind me and I gave him a slash wound in his left arm. His sword arm to be exact.

It was enough for he to switch hands and that gave me advantage point. I almost sliced Gavin's throat on my way away from Angeal. I wasn´t paying enough mind to Mervin who had casted Fire 2 and thrown two of his knifes at me. The fire hit me. Knifes didn´t. The fire only burned slightly not enough to hurt. I had Sephiroths immunity to fire thanks to Hojo. I never thought that old geezer would be any good, but as I rarely was, right now I was wrong. He did have his uses. I was actually very grateful to him right now. If he had not gave me the Sephiroth genes, I wouldn´t be resistant to fire and now I would be a _dinner – crispy Cloud with sauce and salad – _That wasn´t a happy thought.

_Angel! A little help please__._

**You are again in trouble? I knew this. I knew you would be as idiotic and suicidal as ever.. Yeez.**

There was a pause in the battle. We all circled each other. Gavin was out of the game which gave me only four opponent to face. I closed my eyes for a second. Next time when I opened them they were silver colored and had cold blue tint and my pupils were slitted like Sephiroth's. My hair also had a slight silvery tint to it.

Sephiroth and Angeal knew that there was something more in me now. Sephiroth gestured Mervin and Beck to back off a little bit with his hand. That was a mistake. I knew that they would need all of they manpower to overpower me like I was now. Sephiroth's eyes had slight pink tint into them signaling that Jenova was present in him and he was now using her power as well. That made the power against me equal to power that I had against them.

I calculated that that was enough to overpower me and I asked Gaia to give me a slightly more power. There came slight green tint in to my eyes and I felt a scar become visible to my skin in my back. Is was star like and it was middle of my back. It would not slow me down, but it was a reminder of Gaia's presence in me. Now I had the upper hand.

The onlookers and bystanders saw us all just stop then as they backed away as they felt our power to increase. It was like they knew that we were now more than we had been moments before.

I suddenly broke the waiting atmosphere and casted Ice 2 on Mervin. He couldn´t dodge it and was left standing to his toes to neck on ice. I dropkicked Beck out of the ring so hard that he bounced away from it. He picked himself up, but didn´t look too pained. Only Sephiroth and Angeal left. They knew how to fight together and they also had knowledge about my fighting style.

They suddenly came at me from all directions. I was faster than them but two against one wasn´t the position what I had longed for. They got few decent shots in. I lashed at Angeal who caught the attack, but quickly dropped against the next attack of mine. Now it was only Sephiroth against me.

I heard Gaia ranting about killing him. Angel was holding her back and I saw the pink in Sephiroth's eyes go stronger. I had a hard time against the planet. Gaia suddenly gave me all of her pain and gashes and scars started forming around my body. All the old scars that I had had in my AVALANCHE days and in the real memories as the General of Shin-Ra and all that time in the labs formed. I somehow knew that they weren´t going to go away. Gaia just had previously protected me from scarring, but now they were evident. I was battle hardened and anyone who saw my body would know that.

I closed my eyes against the pain of the scars and the pain of the planet. I stilled my mind and kicked Gaia and Angel back to the flower fields. The tint from my eyes vanished, but the pain and the scars stayed.

Suddenly Sephiroth was attacking from every direction. I let him win. He pierced my left shoulder with Masasume and then I started lacking the mind to fight anymore. I let the sword drop from my grasp. It signaled giving up the fight. I lose.

There was cheering all around of us. I ignored it. I limped to my sword and started to walk back to apartment.

xxx

_"You are the ways of my mistakes_

_I catch the rainfall_

_Through the leaking roof_

_That you had left behind_

_You remind me_

_Of that leak in my soul_

_The rain falls_

_My friends call_

_Leaking rain on the phone"_

When I got in to my apartment Sephiroth, Angeal and Vincent were already in. I had no idea how they got here faster than I did, but I didn´t pay too much mind to it. I didn´t care.

"Zack is taking care of Marlene." Sephiroth said to me. I sat on the sofa. Vincent brought me a cup of coffee. He had also the basic first aid pack with him. _Nice Vincent.. Always ready for mistakes..._

I just looked at him with my cold mask never slipping. I set the coffee cup to the coffee table and took a hold of the knife that was on my shoulder.

"Cloud, don´t!" Angeal said.

He was late of course. I swiftly pulled the knife out with a slurred cry following. The other knife had the same fate.

"Strip." Vincent commanded. I undressed to my boxers and waited them to say anything. My body was full of scars. Some witch I had had in here and others from my previous chances.

"Where did those come?" I heard Sephiroth asking. I knew he was as amazed as everyone else. He had seen me naked many times but never I had had this much scars in my body.

"Gaia wanted to make it clear that I should not hold any emotion and she wanted to make sure that I killed you before you could get under my skin and get my emotions all around you and Marlene." I explained. I was tired of being cold. I was tired of being something I clearly wasn´t. Vincent was taking care of my wounds.

"When did you got that tattoo?" Vincent asked suddenly.

"What?" I asked.

"You have a pack of wolfs running in your back." Angeal said.

"Oh. That came to me in Wutai, but it will burn away." I said. We all knew the effect of Mako showers too well.

"What about that other one?" I heard Sephiroth asking.

"Which one?" I asked.

"That. Number three in your left hand." He said.

I glanced my hand. There it was. The clean number three. I suddenly had a flashback.

_"Now now my mistake__.__ " Hojo said as he slowly tattooed my hand. "This will mark you a perfect Sephiroth clone. You are my life work as much as my son is__. No more a mistake..__"_

"It can´t be back." I said. I was out of breath suddenly. I collapsed into Vincent's arms.

xxx

I woke up in our bed. Sephiroth was spooned around me and his hair was all over me. It was so silky and nice. I turned my head and saw that my hair was also all over him. We were using each others hair as blankets. _Is there anything more romantic?_

Sephiroth lazily opened his eyes. He watched me with this all love showing gaze. It brought a memory with it. A memory of a cat that had lived with me in the mansion. I didn´t remember it´s name but what I remembered it had the same habbit of opening it´s eyes lazily and gaze around.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked from me.

"Yes. Quite all right. Did you?" I asked back.

"Yes. Want to take shower together before we go and make breakfast and wake Marlene up?" He asked.

"Yes. That would be pleasant." I answered to him with a smile. The planets pain immediately flared hotter and I saw Sephiroth watching me worriedly.

"It´s okay. It´s the planet again. Let´s go." I said with a little smile gracing my face.

We got our bathroom and started shoveling. We washed and toweled each other's hair and then went and dressed up to our uniforms.

"I´ll make the breakfast if you wake Marlene. Want something special?"

"Coffee. And pancakes." He said with dreaming voice. I laughed a little and kissed him fair and square and went to fix us pancakes. Sephiroth loved pancakes. They were the second best treat since me.

I was just ready when Marlene and Sephiroth came to the kitchen and sat around the table. I had made it all look maybe too fancy, but it was all because of Marlene. There was even nice real flowers on the table.

"Good mornin´ Papa Cloud!" Marlene said happily. I smiled at her.

"Good morning to you too sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" I asked her with a smile on my face as at the same time giving her some pancakes and giving Sephiroth his morning coffee.

"Yes. Could I sleep with you next night? I have missed you both and I know you are going somewhere. Where are you going Papa Cloud?" She asked sweetly, but still somehow sadly.

"Cloud is going to a place called Wutai. It is very beautiful place. I am sure that he will bring something nice to us when he gets back." Sephiroth said. I gave him pancakes with syrup on top and drank my coffee and took a bite from my pancakes.

"Papa Cloud are going to bring something for us?" She asked. She looked like she wanted nothing more than me to come back with one piece and that was a wish enough. _What hard wishes children now have.._

"Yes. I´ll bring you something you can only have from there." I said to her. "And I promise to write everyday." I promised.

"You promise?" She asked. She took every promise seriously. Maybe too serously, but that was honorable habit.

"Yes. I promise." I said. I was serious about that promise. But I knew that this happiness that I felt now was only temporary. The planet would not grant me rest from the pain. The pain was the only thing that I had. I couldn´t even die. I tried that so many times that it was out of option. Secondly the planet needed it´s WEAPON. I was meaningful, I was everything the Cetra and Gaia had left for their protection. It was my job.

I started think back, think about Genesis. Yes we looked like each other, but still I wondered few things. Reno had said something couple of days ago that got me thinking about back to it all.

_"You know, Cloud__.__ You look a lot like Rufus. And you act pretty much the same. It´s like you are his twin or something, yo"_

What if Genesis wasn´t my father? And even if he was. How it could be that I and Rufus looked so much the same? Then I remembered. Rufus wasn´t a Shin-Ra. His father wasn´t his _father_. So Genesis was both of our father? Yes that could be possible. But that made me Shin-Ra as well. At somehow at least. Because Rufus was declared to be Shin-Ra. And if I was his half-brother that made me a Shin-Ra as well. This was interesting. I wondered if Rufus had came to the same conclusion as I had.

"Seph... I have some paperwork to attend and then I have to teach my class. I absolutely must. And then I have to take care of Reno. And the SEE (SOLDIER Entrance Exams) are coming fast forward and you know how that is. The paperwork suddenly comes in triples and we have new forms and everything. Then again we have to go to the Shin-Ra ball and then after that I have to go to Wutai. Will you transfer my paperwork there? Can you send me everything I need?" I asked.

"Yes. I have paperwork also. When I attended to the General position I never imagined that there would be so much paperwork. Before you go to Wutai we have to go throw the SEE candidates and which ones we are going to recommend to the Exams. I can send you your paperwork, but you have to remember to report the casualties and there is war related paperwork you have to attend there as well. I hope you get promotion soon. It´s more paperwork but it helps your life in here. And if you do get a promotion we don´t have to keep Genesis there in charge." He explained.

"Yes that would be good. Well, I see you both later. Have nice time in school honey." I said to Marlene and hugged her. I quickly gave Sephiroth a chaste kiss and left to attend the evil paperwork which was waiting me at my desk.

xxx

I got to my own apartment and the first thing I saw was endless amounts of paper work. Then there had came some letters which I decided to read first. It was a good decision.

_From Vice-President Rufus Shin-Ra_

_To Second Lieutenant SOLDIER 3rd Class Cloud Strife._

_I have given you an office. It´s in the same floor as Sephiroth's and I will send some Cadets to collect your paperwork and move them to your office. You also have your own Secretary. There is a file about her in this letter. _

_Remember to attend to the Shin-Ra ball tomorrow. I will send a limousine to pick you up at 4 o'clock. Take Miss Valentine with you. There are some reporters at the door. Don´t pay any mind to them. _

_I´ll see you soon__._

_Rufus Shin-Ra._

Oh I had my own office? That was _so_ cool. Okay now let´s check the information about my new secretary.

_Name: Marie_

_Position: A Turk, Secretary._

_Rank: Turk_

_Age: 22_

_Hair Color: Blue_

_Eye Color: Silver_

_Hight: 165cm_

_Weight: 45kg_

_Weapon: Pistol_

_Has been in Turks from age of 13. Was sent to Wutai and after she came back she requested to be in a position of not doing field missions. Sent to protect the target of choice. _

_Mission: Sent to protect Cloud Strife from unknown threat. Mission involves playing a part of his secretary and doing basic secretary works. However mission also contains to keep Professor Hojo out of the way and uninterested. _

Well this wasn´t a surprise. I actually waited something like this. I could make my office my sanctuary. That was nice. There finally was some place where I was safe.

From the letter came keycard and the office number. I immediately went looking for my office.

xxx

As I came to Sephiroth's and now mine office floor I went first to Sephiroth's office. His secretary nodded me once and let me in. I wondered if she was a Turk also. I didn´t doubt it.

"I have my own office." I said. Straight to the point as always.

"Do tell." He answered.

"Rufus thinks I need extra protection. So he sent me an office and a Turk who´s my newest secretary." I said.

"That´s nice. Have you saw it yet?" He asked at the same time he was signing something.

"No. Want to come with me?" I asked.

"That would be nice. I also have you some more paperwork to complete." He said with a smirk. My expression came as a mock-painful. I didn´t hate paperwork it was oddly relaxing, but the amount of doing it was a matter of something else. But I needed to do it so I did it.

We left from Sephiroth's office together to look how and where my office was. It was a little before his office. There was a silver-plate on my door which said:

_Second Lieutenant Cloud Strife_

_SOLDIER 3rd Class._

I went in and what first came ahead of me was this space. On my left side was secretary's desk and she was sitting behind it. She swiftly stood up and saluted.

"General Sephiroth, sir, Second Lieutenant Strife, sir."

"As you were." We said in unison. It was an automate reaction. We watched each other and busted to laugh. I was keeping hold of the door knob as it was my last lifeline. Sephiroth was leaning to the desk. We both laughed at least five minutes. Marie was looking us like we had suddenly grown wings. That thought made me laugh only harder. We were the most coldest officers in Shin-Ra, us to laugh at all, or even the same place was utterly catastrophic, it was something that was relevant to a worlds end at some peoples opinion. And that thought made us laugh _even _harder.

Eventually the laughter was sustained and I watched her to write something with her laptop.

"Well then Marie. It is nice to meet you." I said still smiling. She smiled back to me and said:

"As well, sir." She said.

"Quit saying sir. I´m not saying you a Turk am I? Just call me Cloud, okay?" I said again smile gracing my lips.

"Yes, si... Cloud." She said with a smile.

"Well it is a start." I said. I quickly kissed Sephiroth goodbye. He had said something about needing to get something.

"There are few things we need to discuss. Let´s go inside to the office." I said and opened the door.

The sight that greeted me was very pleasant. There were few wooden file cabinets on the left wall. Behind my dark oak wood desk stood three bookshelves and on my right was a small table which contained flowers. On my left side was also a window.

I sat behind my table and gestured Marie to take the other seat that was available on my office.

"Si. Cloud. Behind that painting over there is a handgun and bullets to it. It also contains basic first aid kit and some other useful tools." She said.

"Yes. I am aware of that. Now to the point. Sephiroth, Zack, Reno, Angeal and Genesis are allowed inside at anytime. Secondly I want to keep Hojo as far as here as he can be. Thirdly if I get mail read them throw and then place them to my desk. If I need to send something I give them to you. You can just make sure that everything is correct with them. As I know that you are a Turk. When you read all my paperwork before and after anyhow, if you have any advice you the post-it thingies. It´s much easier to me to do the paperwork then. And then to the last thing. Are you coming with me to Wutai?" I said.

"Understood, si... Cloud. And yes I have been informed that I should go with you." She said.

"Well that´s good. Now would you be good and get me some Cadet to get my paperwork from here to everywhere?" I asked with smile.

"Yes Cloud." She said and left the room. I started happily to read throw the constantly growing pile of paperwork. In few minutes some unfortunate Cadet was knocking on my door.

"Enter." I said at the same time as I signed new sheet.

"So. Who are you?" I asked without looking up from the papers.

"S.P. Cadet Guragan, John, Sir" He answered. He didn´t sound as being afraid. I lifted my gaze from the papers. Guragan had a pale face and middle length pale hair. He was small but not too small. I observed him silently.

"Who is you instructor?" I asked silently. I knew that my gaze was as dead as I was. I felt dead. The planet had sucked all my emotions like some hungry animal. It didn´t scare me. But I knew that it would scare others. I knew that the morning happiness that I shared with my family was there only. I couldn´t display my emotions to anyone else. It was hopeless to fight against the planet.

"Lieutenant General Fair, sir." He answered to me. _So Zack is his instructor. I´m sure he has told stories about me to his pupils. I wonder if he will courage Guragan to take the SEEs__..._I quickly typed the cadets name to my database. _Pretty good i´d say__..._

"Are you going to take the SEEs?" I asked.

"No sir. I want to be a medic." He answered.

"Oh. Then I don´t wonder that you are here." I said, now smiling slightly.

"Why so, sir if I may ask?" He asked.

"Well of course because you are one of Zack's pupils. He has sent you here to keep an eye of me. He has gotten you my basic medical files and wants that you will be here to help me if anything happens. Isn´t that correct?"

xxx

**Guragans PoV**

We were all in the class as it was ending. We had the basic hand to hand combat practice. Zack was instructing how to do this parry in right way and I just wandered my gaze over the place. The bell rang, it signaled that the class was ending.

There also was this beep sound witch I recognized the voice of PHS receiving a message.

"Guragan. Stay behind." Zack said.

"Yes, sir." I said. We waited until the rest of the class had wondered somewhere and then I turned to look my instructor.

"I have received a request. Lieutenant Strife's secretary called and said that the Lieutenant had asked a hand with moving his paperwork. I had this plan on getting someone in to his inner circle who I could trust. You are going to be that who. His been very sick all the time and that shows. As he goes to Wutai, you will go with him. I know you want to be a medic. So this is your chance. There will be someone who will teach you anything you ever wanna know. They test you at the SEEs as how good medic you can be. Yes I know you don´t want to be in SOLDIER. But being in SOLDIER _and _being a medic is better. I´m going to recommend you. Now to your assignment. The Lieutenant already has a Turk as a secretary. She knows you so she will let you in where ever you want to be. Secondly you have to keep an eye on the Lieutenant. It is extremely important. I´ll give you his medical information before you go. You need to keep him in top form at all times. Is this understood?" Zack asked.

"Sir, Yes, sir!" I chanted. _This will be interesting. A Turk as a secretary. The Shin-Ra really want to keep this person alive. He has been getting up in the rank abruptly fast. I never saw him before, but they say that he was in Wutai and there is evidence of that. Well I can keep him healthy and I can heal almost anything._

"Good. You have to be around of him 24/7. No slacking. You have to be on reach because you can never know what can happen to him. He has this aura of getting into trouble." Zack said.

"Yes, sir." I chanted again.

"Good. The files are here. Take them and read them as you go there. Then leave them to his secretary." Zack said at the same time as he gave me a pack of files. There were many files included. All the test, SOLDIER infusion everything included. Even video material of some of the experiments. The files also contained information about Lieutenant Strife's combat ability. It was fabulous. I never knew that there even was as complete medical history as this one.

"This is fabulous. I should be able to figure out anything he has based on this." I said in awe. This was any med-students heaven.

"Oh. That, well that some of 1/10 of it all. Clouds secretary has the rest. Those are only about last two months of information about him." Zack said. I just gaped at him wordlessly.

"You are not serious are you, sir?" I asked. I was petrified and completely amazed at the same time.

"I am completely serious. Now off you go. I need you to keep eye of my Chocobohead. Oh. And no telling about this to anyone alright?" He said smile on his face.

"Yes sir." I saluted him and left. I was drowning to the information. There was so much of it. Lieutenant Strife shouldn´t even be alive anymore after this. Was he some kind of superhuman?"

"Who knows?"

xxx

I made it to the door of his office. I went in and saluted to Marie, who was behind the desk.

"Lieutenant Strife is in his room. Leave the folders here and go in. And don´t be afraid of him. He is completely emotionless. Sephiroth seems like a nice person as he is when the two of them are in the same room. And yes he has a good day. He´s really friendly and understanding, but completely emotionless. If he were a Turk he would be the most efficient since the time of Vincent Valentine. So go in and keep an eye watching him all the time." Marie said.

"Yes, sir. Is there anything else I should know, sir?" I asked. I wasn´t nervous. Everything I had heard from other Cadets said that Lieutenant Strife was actually the most nicest instructor/officer in Shin-Ra. If you left Lieutenant General Fair and Commander Hewley out of count.

"Yes. Behind the painting is a first aid kit, few handguns and bullets and some other useful stuff. The Lieutenant is very important to us all. I am not implying that he cannot protect himself. It´s just he can´t control the amount of accidents. So be careful alright? Oh and one more thing. He is as obsessed about his hair as Sephiroth." Marie said as she took the files from me.

"Yes, sir." I said.

"Good now go. He hates waiting, he is very patient, but still." Marie said. I knocked to the door.

"Enter." Was heard from the inside. I changed a look with Marie and went inside...

xxx

"So. Who are you?" Lieutenant Strife asked from me without looking at me. He was signing some papers. He wasn´t annoyed at all. Marie was right. Completely emotionless but still caring.

"S.P. Cadet Guragan, John, Sir" I answered. I noticed that the Lieutenant was observant. He could clearly see everything without looking. He lifted his gaze from the papers and looked directly at me. He had so vivid blue eyes. His hair was little spikier at the back like Zack's but above that, it was exactly like Sephiroth's, but it was golden shade. It was pretty nice and I had to battle the urge to touch it.

"Who is your instructor?" He asked silently. His gaze was so dead._ Why is he so dead of all emotions? He has a daughter if I know correctly.._

"Lieutenant General Fair, sir." I answered to him. I saw him typing something to his laptop and then quickly walk through the texts.

"Are you going to take the SEEs?" He asked from me. I remembered what Zack had said to me. I wanted to be a medic and I knew that there was going to be a problems in SOLDIER if I ever were to join.

"No sir. I want to be a medic." I answered. Okay that was a lie.. I knew it, he knew it and Zack surely knew it. I knew I would be fabulous as a SOLDIER medic.

"Oh. Then I don´t wonder that you are here." He said to me. He had a smirk on his face that didn't reach his eyes. _Shit__.__ He knows already about the mission__.__ Shit!_

"Why so, sir if I may ask?" I asked like I didn´t know anything at all.

"Well of course because you are one of Zack's pupils. He has sent you here to keep an eye of me. He has gotten you my basic medical files and wants that you will be here to help me if anything happens. Isn´t that correct?" He asked from me.

"Well. Yes sir that is correct." I answered him. Now I was nervous.

"Good. Are you coming with me and Marie to Wutai?" He asked.

"Yes sir, I was ordered to do so. It will be an honor to serve you, sir." I said.

"Duly noted. That´s good to hear. Now would you go and fetch the paperwork from my apartment?" he asked.

"Yes sir." I answered immediately.

"Good. Now on you go." He said and tossed me his key card.

"Oh. Before you go. If Seph's there don´t pay any mind to him. His off duty." He said to me.

"Yes sir." I said and left.

xxx

"What did he say?" Marie asked from me.

"I need to fetch some papers from his apartment, and that I shouldn´t pay any mind if General Sephiroth was there. His off duty, sir." I said quickly.

"Did he gave you his key card?" Marie asked.

"Yes he did." I answered. Marie gave me a pager and PHS.

"Those are for you. If your PHS is not working the pager will. I´ll call if anything happens. And to your notification, Sephiroth and Cloud are a couple. They are married and they have adopted daughter." Marie said to me.

"Oh. Alright. See you soon, sir." I said and saluted to her. Then I was on my way.

xxx

**Clouds PoV**

_Huoh__.__ I´m so tired. Maybe I ask some coffee from Marie__._There was a knock at the door.

"Come in." I said tiredly. It was Marie, she had a tray which held a full coffee pot and a cup, and some bites of sugar.

"General informed me that you are in need of your caffeine." She told me with a smile on her face.

"You are gift from heaven!" I said to her and drank my first cup of coffee without sugar by one big gulp.

"Thank you, si--Cloud." She said with smile.

"I also have some new paperwork for you. Guragan is coming soon with the ones from your apartment. I will read them and then leave them to your desk. Oh, and your class starts in one hour." She informed me.

"Thank you Marie. Tell me when I have to leave. There are many things that I have to finish so I have to be fast if I want to make it. Well. Bring the evil paperwork in." I said to her jokingly.

"Yes, _sir!" _She said with a smile and came back with 25cm tall paper pile in her hands.

"These are the ones that are urgent. So be quick. If you are not finished with them before your class then you have to come after it or after you have taught Reno." She said. I could see that she was clearly concerned.

"Thank you Marie. When Guragan is back tell him to come here. Zack wants that the kid keeps an eye on me. So be it." I stated. She left without saying anything and I continued to drink my coffee and doing the paperwork.

**Need a hand?**

_Well why not__..._

**Want to sleep or be here as well?**

_If we are both here we are faster._

**Good.**

I sensed Angel take hold of my limbs. We had an equal amount of control. My hair became silvery as did my eyes. My skin got paler and my hands became slimmer under the gloves. It was good that Angel was left handed and I was right. it made things easier.

We started to do the paperwork together. My very beautiful handwriting which was like spiders web graced the endless mass of pages. When one page was ready I dropped it to the now empty box which had been labeled "Ready".

There was a knock on the door. I didn´t say anything. I was too much into the work. I sensed that it was Guragan who came in. He had new paperwork in his hands. He just stared my wind like moving limbs when I took full use out of my SOLDIER induced speed.

"Leave the paperwork to the top of the pile, take some coffee and a book and sit." I ordered.

"Yes sir." He said and did as I told him. He took LOVELESS out of the shelf behind my back. He still stared at my movements behind the desk even as he was seated. After twenty minutes I was ready.

I took the box and went to the outer office space. I placed the box to her desk.

"These are ready now. Have anything else?" I said. She looked up from her work and stared the box then me.

"Is everything alright, sir?" She asked me.

"Yes of course it is. Why do you ask?" I asked.

"Your eyes, skin and hair are different." She stated.

"Yes they are. After we reach Wutai I´ll tell you why." I stated as well.

"Yes, sir. That was all sir."

"I told you to call me Cloud. Well. Your progress is slow for a Turk." I said her with smile.

"Guragan! Let´s go. I want to be at the gym a few minutes early." I ordered.

"Yes sir." He chanted and came standing two steps behind me to my right side.

"Have a nice day sir. If anything happens I call you. Guragan. If anything happens to him call or page me." She ordered.

"Yes mom." I stated.

"Yes sir!" Guragan chanted, and then we were out.

xxx

We were walking along the corridors to the training room/gym. I never looked around me. The cold aura that I emitted was enough to get us away throw the halls. All the lower ranked military personnel saluted immediately as we passed. I sensed Guragan saluting silently to some people. I didn´t bother. All the high ranked officers had seen me fighting with Sephiroth and they respected me. I knew that after Wutai I would be a General. Directly leading all the forces at Wutai. I still should answer to Sephiroth about few things but all the things occurring I had limitless power at my possession.

We were at the training rooms door and I silently walked in. They were all there already. Reno was not there but that was understandable. He was no longer an S.P. Cadet he was a Turk trainee. I knew his destiny too well. He would after some amount of time lead the Turks. I hadn´t let go of Angel yet.

"This is Guragan. He is here because of me and me only. There are no questions because of this, is this clear?" I asked.

"Sir, Yes sir!" They all chanted.

"Good. Now let´s get this party started." I said with a smirk on my face.

xxx

The class ended and my group left from the training room more tired than I. It had been a hellish training session. I tried to teach them how to get weapon about anything available. I knew that Reno would be good at this and I would teach this to him. I would also teach him to _sense _where and who was where, with what.

We went with Guragan to my apartment. I went to the bathroom and opened my medicine cabinet. I still hadn´t let Angel go and this was tiring as hell. I knew that I could hold him in surface for weeks but I was losing power fast.

I took many pills, I didn´t even know what I didn´t take. When I got back to the living room Guragan was looking at me worriedly. It was somehow sad but I didn´t let the emotion surface.

I was just a big disappointment to every single person in this planet. I never did the things right. I just messed it all up. People did believe me at the moment when I told them something but after some amount of time they would grow restless and would not trust me anymore. Or then I would became something to admire. But still unreachable. That made me feeling lonely. No one would never get to know the real _Cloud _that I really were.

_What about Sephiroth and Marlene? They love you don't they?_

I went to get a new cup of coffee. I saw there was mail on the table. It had the basic Shin-Ra army logo along it. No sender. _hmm__.__ What is this?_ I opened the envelope. Inside of it was one paper and one paper only. An invitation.

**The List of promotions.**

**Second Lieutenant Strife, SOLDIER 3rd Class **

**Promoted to Senior Lieutenant/ Lieutenant Strife, SOLDIER 2nd Class.**

**S.P. Cadet Guragan**

**Promoted to Medical 2nd Lieutenant/Nurse.**

**Major Kunsel, SOLDIER 2nd Class**

**Promoted to Colonel Kunsel, SOLDIER 1st Class.**

**If your name is on the promoted list, fill in the "Promotion" Form and attend to the Gala which is Tuesday at 20.00. At the Main Shin-Ra building.**

**General Sephiroth**

I thought I had a heart attack. I swayed a little and then I dropped the envelope. I dropped to the couch and just stared my hands like there wasn´t tomorrow.

"Sir... SIR!" Guragan shouted at me. He had came in front of me. Checking my pulse and looking at me worriedly.

"Are you alright sir?" Guragan asked from me.

"No. Read the envelope." I ordered him. He picked the envelope from the floor and started reading. His expression sifted from complete horror to wonder and then to smile.

"Congratulations Senior Lieutenant." He said with smile.

"Congratulations as well. So what should I call you?"

"I´m called Medical 2nd Lieutenant RN Guragan. It means that in a battlefield I have the amount of power that a Second Lieutenant handles and above that I´m just a nurse with a power of second lieutenant without paperwork. Okay I have to keep my writings on check. But I have just one patient and that is you sir." Guragan pointed out.

"And when we reach Wutai I will be directly under you. I will be your second in command. I hope you will trust me." Guragan said.

"Yes Guragan I will trust you. Now let´s get going, the Gala is tomorrow. I should play there, but now I will be promoted as well. Well too bad. Before we go to teach Reno let´s get the forms done. I can do yours as well and get them to Sephiroth's desk by today." I said.

"Thank you sir." Guragan said. I took the envelope with me.

xxx

We reached my office fast. Marie was in the outer office.

"What do I own this honor? I thought that you had already finished your paperwork." Marie said to me.

"Yes I did finish them alright. Could you get me promotion forms 3 and 8." I ordered.

"Of course, 2nd Lieutenant Strife." Marie said and started print the forms.

"Not anymore. It´s _Senior _LieutenantStrife now. And 2nd class. And I got promoted too. I´m now Medical 2nd Lieutenant RN." Guragan pointed.

"Congrats both of you." She said with a smile as she pass the forms to me.

"Thanks" I said as we head to the inner office. I decided let Angel do the forms. They were ready in five minutes. We went back to the outer office and Marie said that I should remember to teach Reno and then I had lab appointment after that.

We went to Sephiroth's office. I stopped before the door of the outer office space.

"This--this is _the _Generals office." Guragan said.

"Yes it is. Let´s go in." I said Angel still evident in my voice.

There was Sephiroth's secretary on the outer office who just nodded us that The General would take us in. I opened the door and saw Sephiroth in the middle of hundreds of piles of paperwork.

"Well this is a pleasant surprise. Have you had a nice day, Cloud?" Sephiroth asked. As I answered, Guragan looked like a gaping fish. What was so horrible to speak small talk with the General of Shin-Ra _and_ my husband?

"This is Guragan. Zack sent him to keep an eye out on me." I said smiling slightly.

"Oh. Is that so. Well what brings you here?" Sephiroth asked. I saw the glitter in his eyes and figured that he would do something to shock the young S.P. Cadet out of his pants.

"We both got promoted. So I came to give you the forms. And to give you a kiss." I said with a sadistic smile on my lips.

"Oh. Do tell. Does the kiss involve anything else?" Sephiroth asked as he took the forms from my hands. One of his fingers teased the skin on the back of my hand.

"Maybe." I said the sadistic smile still playing on my lips. I glanced Guragan briefly. He had gone all red as a tomato. I suddenly took hold of the straps of Sephiroth's armor and slammed him to the outer wall. Then kissed him fiercely.

The next thing I heard was the door slamming shut. We both started to laugh. We took hold of each other and slid to the floor. It was very fun. The mind fuck of ours. Our minds truly worked the same way.

xxx

**Guragans PoV.**

Major Strife took hold of THE Generals armor straps, and _slammed_ him to the outer wall!!!! _WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!?!?! _My mind screamed at me. Before as they were talking about their sex-life like it was weather. Now doing this?! Major Raping THE General of Shin-Ra fucking army!

I escaped to the outer office. My face was redder by each moment.

"Cadet. What just happened inside?" The secretary asked from me. I couldn´t get a sound out of my throat, it was so dry. Then there was laughter. A very nice laughter indeed. They were mind-fucking with me... _Gosh_!

The secretary started to laugh as well. I just became redder by each passing moment.

_At the same time in Hojos lab one of his experiments brains blows out.. End of the world indeed..._

xxx

**Clouds PoV**

We were out of the office with Guragan. The next appointment would be with Reno. I went to the little training room which was just next to our basic group training room. It was pretty nice. It had it´s own observatory.

I didn´t need to wait long. Reno came in as cockily as he always had come back in the days.

"Yo!"

"Hello Reno. Today I´ll teach you how to make weapons about anything and how to sense everything what is around you. Oh and this is Guragan, but I think that you know about him already, isn´t that correct?" I said.

"Yeah. That´s cool, yo. And yes I have known about him before even Zack knew about him." Reno said. That was the basic Reno to you.

"Oh by the way. Congrats by your promotions." Reno said to us.

"Thanks." We both said in unison. I started the class.

xxx

In the middle of training my mind made a trip to the land of blackness. I figured it had to be the medicines. Guragan and Reno didn´t notice this, which I was grateful of. Then I remembered the lab appointment I had to go today. I wasn´t sure that I could go to the gala tomorrow. _Fuckin´ Hojo!_

I was in middle of teaching Reno the sensing of persons when the planet flared at me. I instantly went to my inside world and let Angel continue the teaching.

"What is happening?" I asked. I was in the flower field. Jenova and Gaia were present. This time around though Gaia was lying on Jenova's lap. The scene would have been very amusing if only that was the case.

"Something happened in Wutai. You need to go and solve the thing as fast as you can. When can you go?" Jenova asked from me.

"Tomorrow after the Gala." I answered. I was sure that if there was something major happening Sephiroth would send me there as fast as he could.

"That´s almost too late, but not quite. Now. Hurry!" She said to me as she watched Gaia writhe in the ground.

"Yes sir." I snapped and came back to the real world.

xxx

When I opened my eyes Guragan and Reno were both watching me intently.

"Did you just switch personalities?" Reno asked from me.

"Yes I did. I have to go now..." I said little gone like. I was focusing to my inner being. I knew that Sephiroth would already be at home.

"Guragan, Reno. Have either of you flied before?" I asked from then.

"I have. I love helicopters." Reno answered.

"Only on airplane." Guragan answered.

"Something weird is going to happen so please don´t freak out okay?" I pleaded.

"Yes sir." They both said. I sprouted my _Wings _from my back. There were tw wings now. Not just one like before. The blood came and I almost dropped to my knees. I looked like a fallen angel.. I was sure of it. No human could posses this power.

"Holy..." Reno chanted. I took hold of him on my other arm as I did the same to Guragan. Then we flied- Straight out of the window. The window was broken to shards that cut my being but I ignored the pain.

xxx

In few moments we were on Sephiroth's balcony. I went straight throw the door, I was still holding Guragan and Reno. Sephiroth was standing in front of us, Masasume readily drawn. He almost attacked. I carefully placed Guragan and Reno to the couch.

Sephiroth was looking at me crazily. I was all covered in blood and glass.

"You have to sent me to Wutai tomorrow. The planet is in great pain." I said with a pain laced voice. The planets pain came full grown to me. I almost landed on the ground as I was losing my consciousness. Sephiroth took hold of me. On my last force I called my wings back.

_"Take a day plant some trees_

_May they shade you from me_

_May your children play beneath_

_Blank page was all the rage_

_Never meant to say anything_

_In bed I was half dead_

_Tired of dreaming of rest_

_Got dressed drove the state line_

_Looking for you at the five and dime_

_But there I was picking pieces up_

_You are a ghost_

_Of my indecision_

_No more little girl"_

**A/N: Soo****.**** Here´s chap eight. Took me foreever to write. Longest chap yet. R&R****.**** thanks.**

**B/N: O.B. here! Took me forever as well. I had exams to deal with and business with family. ACHE!! The most I could do with this chapter was grammar and spelling control, not much with the plot. GRR! So fucking long!**


	10. Chapter 9 OLD

**A/N: Hi all. I came up with a problem. The lining is all messed up so I hope I can fix it somehow. I HATE it as it is now. I'm having busy times. I'm writing three or four other stories besides this and beta-reading at least four other stories. This story still continues as I have promised. I'll update two times in a month, Mondays- so have a nice time reading this. Well time to move onward with the story.**

**Thanks to my lovely beta: Original-Botticella. **

**9. Feeling Lonely**

_The Last Goodnight - Incomplete_

_"Can I have your attention please _

_If you didn't want the garden why did you plant the seed? _

_Your making promises that you never keep _

_Now you deal with the consequences down on your knees"_

"You have to sent me to Wutai tomorrow. The planet is in great pain." I said with a pain laced voice. The planet's pain came full to me. I almost landed on the ground as I was losing my consciousness. Sephiroth took hold of me. On my last force I called my wings back.

xxx

I was walking at the corridors of Shin-Ra HQ. People were chattering happily and I felt like I had no part in all that. My heart was longing for a chance be there, but my old mind was here and taking my thoughts in all new tracks. This life what I now lived was the dream of my very being. It was the only thing I had had on my mind when I had first came in Midgar.

My PHS was ringing.

_The world is a vampire,_

_set to drain._

_Secret destroyers_

_Hold you up to the flames._

_And what do I get,_

_from my pain?_

_Great desires!_

Vincent. I answered to it.

"Come to your apartment. I have new information."

"Okay see you in there in five."

Click. It happened again. I hated it. I went back towards my apartment when I spotted John.

"Sergeant Ebony!" I said with a commanding voice. In here I had more power than he had, and more age of course. Then there was the fact that I had more actual experiences because of my memories. And I had made a promise to myself to revenge what he had done to me earlier.

"Yes, sir?" He asked in a questioning voice.

"Come with me. I have matters to discuss with you." I ordered.

"Yes, sir!" He said to me and started to follow me throw the maze that was Shin-Ra. I made the way throw all the corridors which were full of people. From higher ups to Cadets and beyond. When we reached my apartment, I opened the door and gestured him inside. Immediately when I had closed the door I slashed for him. I took a hold of his collar and slammed him to the wall. Then I watched him to try and get my hold to get more slack, which was a lost act. I was a SOLDIER for fucks sake!

I directed my now green hazed gaze to him and said:

"Nice to see you John. After everything you have done to me. Now is the payback time." I said to him as I looked him with my maniac like gaze.

**[A/N: The same kind of gaze that Kadaj had in AC when he was kneeling in front of Rufus in Healing and had the almost Sephiroth transformation thing done.] **

I had forgotten that Vincent was there. My mind immediately took action to his direction as he spoke:

"So that's who attacked you in the corridor and tortured you in your younger years."

"Why do you ask Vincent. As if you haven't noticed that I am taking my revenge on him right now."

"Yes I know. If I could may I suggest something more nicer?"

"Yes you may."

"Why not to send him to Hojo? He gets a new plaything and you get the satisfaction that he is going to suffer very much."

"Oh. What a nice idea. Could you please call Reno." I said as I threw my PHS to him.

"Happily." He said.

xxx

After Reno had came and we had discussed about several missions I contacted to my secretary to inspect if Hojo had anything on the progress which he needed a new test subject for. As it turned out, he actually had. Something about breaking peoples' mind or something. _That would be gooood._ I thought.

"I think Hojo has a perfect project for us. " I said and smiled that crazy smile of mine. It was to be a great deal of fun.

"Wha-what are you going to do to me?" John asked fearfully.

"I am not going to do anything to you. Hojo is." I said smiling.

"Indeed he is." Vincent said smiling too. As well Reno was smiling the Turk smile of his which promised a great deal of pain. I never thought about it but Hojo was quite useful in given situations. We all knew what horrors he could do and what he would do to get progress, anything. Everything was allowed in his world.

"Let's go then." I said and started to take John to Hojo's lab. My own lab appointment should also be taken care of soon, so I wouldn't mind doing this at the same time.

xxx

As we came to the labs Hojo was a little surprised to see me.

"Well well. Lieutenant Strife, where do I own this honor for, your appointment is scheduled in two hours?" he asked me with a sadistic smile on his lips.

"Oh well, I rather not know. I heard some rumors that you have some new project that you need a subject for. " I said without giving John away yet.

"Actually I do have one. But unfortunately you are not suitable for my needs. I need something far more simple." Hojo said.

"Oh. Then I have something for that." I said as I yanked John from behind the door for Hojo to examine.

"Oh. And who is this?" Hojo asked, his eyes were gleaming.

"This is John. My idiot subordinate. I thought of giving him to you, because he is completely useless in everything else. So will you take my gift from my hands and never give it back?" I asked with sadistic smile on my face.

"I thought that you were a complete failure but as it seems you are far more smarter than I thought. Give the subject here . Strap him to the examination table and then let me examine you. I will make sure that this will be over far more faster than usually. I have to attend the subject." He said with a smile on his face. This would give John the little satisfaction to see me in pain, but then again. He would be in more pain later on.

"Thank you professor. Oh. And he won't mind a little pain. It's always good." I said with a smile on my face as I yanked John closer to me and then strapped him to one of the examination tables.

"Oh indeed. Now get your uniform off and then let us get started." Hojo said. I did as I was told still the smile evident on my face. Then I got laid to the examination table and I felt the restraints fastened around me. John laughed a little to that. Hojo started probing me but this time his hands felt like they tried to be soft and nice. Not cruel and forceful.

"I'll give you your mako. I heard that you will go in Wutai correct?" He asked from me as he injected me with a syringe full of the glowing mako.

"Yes, that is correct. " I answered to him with pain-filled voice.

"I'll give you a few bottles of mako with you." After that he just knocked me out with something.

xxx

I woke up to the screams. It was John screaming his head off- I glanced the clock. Only hour had gone by. I was happy. On my way out I saw Hojo playing with John.

"Have a nice day professor." I said to him with a smile on my face.

"As well Lieutenant." He said to my retreating back.

xxx

When I got back to my apartment Guragan was there with Vincent and Reno had left.

"Did your appointment went well?" Guragan immediately asked from me.

"Yes it did. Take the mako and hold it to the Wutai time. They will ship me more but Hojo took the liberty to give me some before I go." I said to him as I handed the bottles to him.

"Good. Thank you sir."

"It's all good. Take some tea or something, I need to talk with Vincent. We will be at the office. Come there when I call you. Vincent can take care of me a few moments." That said we left.

xxx

As we came to my office Marie was still there. I swear she worked more than Sephiroth. And if he wasn't a work-a-holic then I don't know who was.

"Did everything went well, sir?" She asked from me.

"Yes everything went well. Remember to let this man to enter to my office at any time, okay?" I said to her with a rare smile. She looked at me quizzically, probably wondering about my smile. I was in a very good mood. I thought that nothing could spoil my day. I had remembered everything today. After I had became more focused about my work I haven't forgotten anything, which was very good. The planets pain was still evident, but it wasn't too much for me to handle.

"Yes, sir. Do you want some coffee?" She asked from me.

"Yes, thank you." I said to her. Then Vincent looked at me with that kind of expression that told me that there would be some serious things to discuss.

"Okay. Don't bother with coffee. Bring us some whisky instead."

"Yes, sir. " She said and left from her place to fetch just that. We went into the inner office and I almost groaned at the site of my face being covered by the paperwork. I had just finished at least of years worth of it. This is ridiculous. I sat behind my desk and gestured Vincent to take other chair across the table. He sat down and we calmly waited the whisky to come. I started reading throw the paperwork which seemed endless. Well nothing more to do about it than do it. I thought miserably. I had just finished maybe four papers when Marie came in holding two bottles of whisky, two glasses and a good portion of ice cubes.

"Thank you Marie. " I said. It was good as any indicator about dismissal. She left quietly and I opened my bottle and poured myself a healthy portion of the substance to my glass with two cubes of ice. Vincent did the same and we both took a swing from our drinks before he started to tell me about the situation.

"You remember me telling you about the memory recognition technique?" He asked me firstly.

"Yes off course I remember. " I said to him and took a new swing of my drink.

"I have a new information about that. You remember me telling you that your memories were false, correct? Good. Now. I was wrong. They weren't false. They just were better hided than some other memories of yours. This seems to be your second trip throw time and space. That's why you have many memories. It is actually really simple. In the first one you were the crazy one and killed the human kind. And in the second you were the good, sane one and saved the humans many times. It's that simple. But it still doesn't unlock the enigma of 'Cloud Strife'." Vincent told me.

"What there is to unlock? I don't have anything left. I am afraid to love. I'm like a virus, all my loved ones just suffer from time to time. And every single time the blame is on me. I have gotten used to it, but it still infuriates me. So tell me about this enigma of yours." I said to him as I took another swing and filled my glass the third time.

"It is actually very easy question. What the hell _are_ you?" He asked from me.

"I rather not know. I know that I am the planets WEAPON. Then again I am a sort of Cetra. Because of all the alteration done to me I cannot be sure about that fact. Then again because I have so much Jenova on me, I am somewhat alien. And then again because of mako and everything I am most certainly plain dead. I can't die, I don't need to eat or sleep and I have a huge stamina and everything. That is all I know." I said to him emotionless mask on forth.

"Well that is one question in your file. I hacked throw Hojo's files last night and even he didn't know what you were. Well at least we know what you are not. You are not even close to being human. If I would have to guess, I'd say you were a sort of demi-god. Then again, that should indicate that you were a summon, which you are not if there is any believing in Hojo's files, and as sad it is to admit, he actually is more often right than wrong. Even your creator has no idea what the hell you are." Vincent said.

"Wait a second, please and if I do something then just. Leave it be." I ordered.

"Yes." he just said. I traveled to my inner world. They were all there. Angel watched me quizzically.

"I need to know what I am." I said to them all.

"I have no idea." Angel said to me. I think that he didn't have any idea what he himself was.

"If I would," Jenova began, "based on your memories I would say that you were my son. Which now is more accurate than ever. But you have much of Gaia in you as well. So I'd say that you were _our_ child."

Gaia's face did not hint distain, rather the opposite, "Even though it is hard to admit I also think that way as Jenova does."

"But at the same time, you are both servant and WEAPON and Cetra. You are our immune system and you are our cleaning closet and at the same time you are the prince of life-stream and still you are _you_." Jenova said. A small glimmer of excitement.

"Thank you for explaining this to me." Even though it was not an explanation, it was one of reason. I said to them and went back to my own world.

I was breathing hard and so to calm my nerves I took a swing straight from the bottle.

"I solved the enigma." I said to him and then drank my bottle empty and left the office to get ready to the gala.

xxx

"_And maybe we will do this for the rest of our lives _

_Maybe we will live forever _

_And maybe we don't have to think it's right _

_And maybe we will "_

I was on my bedroom thinking about waht to wear. After a moment I decided to put very Rufus like attire.

**[A/N: The same that Rufus was wearing in the AC.]**

It looked nice on me. It had never been used. Just good and new. Then I took my katana and placed it on my back, then I left to Sephiroth's apartment to get further ready and off course to collect Guragan.

When I got there I knew that I had almost three hours to get ready with Marlene and everybody else. Zack was making coffee and was already on his suit. It looked nice on him. Pink suit jacket and white suit pants and black dress shoes. He had most likely only some sort of back weapon with him. I got our invitations ready for us and went to fix Marlene's hair.

She had nice cream colored silk dress with real pearls. She looked very pretty. I started to comb her hair and made a one big braid and made it circle her head like a crown.

**[A/N: Look at Star Wars IV and Leia's hair in there, it's the same.]**

Sephiroth had Black suit with red tie and Masasume over his shoulder like I had.

**[A/N: Look Hellsing and Alucard in there in the third part when they come to the hotel. It's the same attire.]**

He had let his hair run freely. But I knew that it took a lot of work it to flow like that. He looked me and my messy hair which was half on top of my head.

"Come here." He said with a sight. I complied and went to sit in front of him at the kitchen. He started by brushing it, then using the iron on it and then getting some substance on it. I wasn't nervous. After a quick glance in front of mirror told me he had made it flow around me but still be heavy enough so it wouldn't flow all over me.

That would have been funny looking.

We all left and we crossed paths with Kunsel and Guragan in the main hall. Kunsel had his pirate uniform on him as everybody when they hadn't had any other thing to wear. Guragan though had a basic black suit. It was nothing special. We went in their front of Shin-Ra HQ to wait our limousine to arrive.

xxx

We came out of the limousine and as Rufus had warned me the press was everywhere. Taking pictures of us. Some tv-channels wanted to interview us, but we didn't pay any mind to them. Me and Sephiroth were stoic and Guragan was nervous. Kunsel was his normal happy go lucky expression on his face and Marlene was happy as ever. We were holding her hands and she was walking calmly in the middle of me and Sephiroth. Then just behind us came Kunsel and Guragan.

We went in to the main hall and immediately saw Rufus standing there in his white attire that was almost copy of me. Sephiroth shook his hand in a polite gesture, Marlene did the same and then was my turn. He took a hold of my hand and then yanked me softly against himself.

"Brother. I have missed you. I'll write to you in Wutai." He said softly to my ear as he almost hugged me.

"I have missed you too brother. Remember to do that. And send a gift to Marlene. You are an uncle, Rufus."

"Yes. I'll do that. I will be back to you later. Remember to play and be happy." He said again before he let go of my hand and turned his attention to Guragan and Kunsel.

Xxx

We were at our table, with Zack, Kunsel, Marlene, Angeal, and Genesis. It was soon my turn to play.

"Now. Let us welcome our tonight's musician. Cloud Strife!" Rufus announced. I left from my place and saw the grand piano. I didn't need any notes, the songs were carved to my head. I sat in front of the grand piano and started to play. Immediately when my fingers caressed the pedals my nervousness disappeared and I felt free.

Xxx

After I had played I was walking back to my table, Rufus signaled me to come to his table. In there were his mother and father. I sat with them. I remembered this far too well.

"Do you want to be a Shin-Ra?" President Shin-Ra asked from me.

"I rather not know." I answered simply.

"As emotionless as always, brother." Rufus said teasingly.

"As well brother. As cheery as always I assume. "I said smiling.

"Well. Do we want that people get more suspicious as they already are? Do we want to get Cloud the rights from D4 to come S?" The President asked.

"Actually sir. I am B2 now. After I became a SOLDIER they had my class uplifted."

"Yes. Well I will give the company to the two of you, after Sephiroth wants to have life outside of the military you Cloud will be the new General and at that moment you Rufus will be the President. Like that you can rule together. Until that moment I will not reveal that you Cloud are a Shin-Ra."

"Thank you. " I said.

"However. The information has to get done. So I will uplift your clearance and mark your class to S, so that there will be no problems. Also you have full access to all Shin-Ra wealth as being a Shin-Ra. And besides people already see the same in you and Rufus. You are very much the same."

"Yes thank you. May I leave now?" I asked silently.

"Yes."

"I see you later brother." Rufus said to me.

"As well brother, as well."

I came back to our table and everybody was looking at me questionaly.

"What was that with the Shin-Ra's?" Genesis asked from me.

"Nothing. They just complimented me about my promotion." I said back. I didn't want to reveal the truth yet. Sephiroth would know eventually, but not yet. Not so many people present as it was. It was time for the promotions. We were all asked to come to the stage. Finally it was my turn. I swiftly rise from my table and ventured to the stage.

"2nd lieutenant Strife will be promoted to SOLDIER 2nd class and Senior Lieutenant." Rufus said and placed a silver bar to my jackets neck. It was a clear insignia about my rank. There wasn't any words for me to say so I just shake Rufus's hand and again he pulled me close and said:

"Congratulations for your promotion brother."

"Thanks." I said and smiled at him and walked back to my table. Zack was now a drunk, electrolyte-filled puppy. As happy as ever, but at the same time very nervous.

After that we decided to leave from the gala so that I could get ready to leave to Wutai and somehow to fell the last moment with my family until I came back after a month to see the SEEs.

Xxx

Back at home Sephiroth made us a delicious meal and we were all very happy.

"So how was your first day at school?" I asked from Marlene.

"It was great Papa Cloud. Papa Sephy came and took me home afterwards. I got some homework also, but it was _soooo_ easy. I even didn't need any help while doing it and Papa Sephy said that all my homework were perfectly done. I was so happy. I even made friends. There was this boy Denzel. He has someone sponsoring him to go to school. He said that he didn't have any parents. I thought that that was strange. But he is a very nice still. He even gave me this flower." Marlene said to me as she took a hold of the flower that was on her hair and gave it to me to inspect.

"This is. It's Aerith's flower. " I said. It was so beautiful yellow flower. Perfect to our little girl.

"Yes I know. He said he had bought it from a very nice lady down at the slums." She said to me.

"That's nice." I said and gave the flower gently back. After we had eaten and Marlene had washed up, it was time, her sleeping time.

"Ohh, Papa Sephy! You promised a bed-time story!"

Sephiroth lightly chuckled. "So I did. What would you like for me to tell you?"

Her eyes lifted up and ran to the book shelf (it was a hobby of hers to collect books) "Tell me this one!!"

The book was called "In the Amazon" by Philippe Gestapo.

**[B/N: not an actual book or author that I know of.]**

"You want me to read to you about a survivalist's journal?"

"It's the best kind! Real ex-ex-experience! Now read! You promised!" She rolled up in her blankets and gazed wide-eyed in suspense.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, "Very well." Now he began "Amazon. No other word describes the beauty yet harsh reality of such a place. The trees grow tall yet the soil is infertile. The most gorgeous plant or animal it the most deadly. It is a wonder why mother Gaia created such a dichotic force that is the Amazon..."

After ten minutes of him reading, it was time for her to sleep. She was upset. Saying "But you were getting to the good part!!"

xxx

The morning was just a big fuzz memory. I needed to get ready. I took a shower lightning fast then resumed to packing my things.-Uniform, uniform, uniform, hygiene things, uniform, towel, uniform, spare boots, uniform and uniform. I was sure I had forgotten something but I didn't have any time to think about that. I was already going out of the door when a firm hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"Here take this with you. And remember to write!" Sephiroth said and kissed me quickly and then closed the door behind me. I looked at the package. Then I opened it. Hair products! Sephiroth my savor!!!

I quickly run to the main hall and from there to the hangar. I saw my "crew" there waiting for me.

"yo!" Reno said.

"What are you doing here?"

"Leaving to Wutai with you obviously."

"Oh well."

"Sir." Guragan and Marie chanted and we swiftly took on board. We didn't have any time to spare.

Xxx

As we got to Wutai Genesis somehow was there and immediately told me to get ready to fighting in the mako reactor at the north. There was something bad in there. And the Wutai wanted to get rid of the reactor as badly as the planet wanted. Well no time for that now. I heard there had been a reactor which had blown up in the west. I didn't have any time to think about it until it was already time to leave.

Xxx

I was inside the reactor. Fighting against everything. Reno, Guragan and Marie had stayed in the base. I had to take care of the reactor by my self. Genesis explained to me that it was far more efficient to send one SOLDIER than platoon of basic foot-soldiers. I agreed. There were more than Wutaians in the reactor. There were all kinds of uplifted mako monsters that liked to attack me more than anything. I was wondering why they didn't attack the Wutaians until I realized that they were made that way. Shit!!

I was at the heart of the reactor, fighting what had to be at least ten mako monsters at the same time. Then out of nowhere I heard something whispering to me from the mako. I understood it's call and swiftly lunged m self straight to the mako. Ultima Weapon!!! The sword! Come to me, come, come ,come!!

I felt the swords hilt in my hand. My katana had melted away ages ago and even I had difficulties to resist the mako. It wanted a way to get inside of me. I understood that much of it. It was Gaia's will at the same time but I resisted it. I took off from the mako and shot to the bridge and from there lunged the Ultima sword straight throw my enemies. It was a swift battle that gave me a promotion a week later after my heroics about other battles had reached Sephiroth's ears. It was nice to see how that happened.

Later, I gave up on sleeping and eating. The food was awful and I couldn't bring myself to see the nightmares and feel the worlds pain in my sleep when I was the most easiest to get hold to.

Xxx

**Sephiroth's PoV**

The long waited letter from Cloud came through the mail after four days had passed from his leaving. There was one for me and one for Marlene. I read them both. Marlene's letter first. We were at the dinner table at the time.

"Marlene. Clouds letter is here." I said to her and gave her the letter. I knew what it said. Basic gibberish about him being well and that the battle was refreshing and the food was horrible and all the basic bullshit to calm a child and her mind. My letter was different. Much too different.

_Dear Sephiroth__,_

_I have missed you terribly. Unfortunately, the mail can't send kisses. But this will do. Ugh, a lot has happened. Genesis send me to deal with a reactor at the north. I dealt it by myself. It wasn't easy I tell you that. From there I discovered the Ultima Weapon. I am sure you remember her. She is a beauty. A gift from the planet. I hope everything is going fine in there? _

_There have been very little casualties in here. Mainly because the reactors have been blowing up before we get there, from unknown cause I should tell you. No one know for sure anyway. _

_I have been wounded couple of times, but there hasn't been nothing serious. I am sure that you will get full report about my condition in a week from Guragan. If not then ask it from Zack. Reno will send a report as well. I don't know about Marie though. I haven't got too much paperwork here. Are you keeping them all by yourself? I know you can do my signing perfectly. I have seen it myself. Well send them over already._

_Enough with the bad stuff. How's my sex-muffin doing? I want you to be ready when I come home. And I want Marlene to have good grades! A gratification for my long absence. Sensor this part out if your reading this to Marlene (I'll tell you to start up again). I imagine your cock inside me when I'm fingering myself when lonely me thinks of you. That's right I want that bad cock when I come home! (Now start again)._

_I hope that I can see you soon. I was thinking about a little vacation. Just you, me, Marlene and Zack. We could go to Nibelheim. I want to visit to my mother. And then go from there to Gongaga and have a visit with Zack's family and say hello to Angeal's and Genesis's parents as well. I hope you like this idea. You know about my reasons about going to Nibelheim, but I cannot help it._

_I love you always__,_

_Cloud Strife_

I just sat there and read the letter in confusion. _How does he do it? _I thought before I got up and started writing him a one letter back. My throat nearly constricted about the fingering.

xxx

**Clouds PoV**

A few days went by and no letter came. Until one day I got three. One from Sephiroth, Marlene and Rufus. It was strange, but at the same time it sent a warm shiver through my spine.

_Dear Cloud__,_

_I am happy to receive your letter. Although I am very worried about you. I hope everything is alright?_

_Marlene has done great with school. She has my brains clearly and your stubbornness. Everything has gone fine here. Although Zack did almost give me a heart attack when I got out of the bathroom and saw that my hair was purple. A little discussion with Hojo and my hair was back to it's original color which I was grateful of. _

_I am glad about vacation. I haven't have one since trip to Costa del Sol and that went completely out of picture._

_Speaking of pictures, your letter gave me a boner that was inappropriate in front of an eight-year old girl. Kidding, it wasn't in front of her. And I can't wait to be in your well muscled cave. All ten inches are screaming for you at night._

_Love you always__,_

_Sephiroth_

Sephiroth was using his, I think too much handwriting. His was normally like spiders web. When he was really thinking it got more accurate. But the handwriting was still very nice. It must have took him forever to come up with that short naughty paragraphs. Not used to such things. Then I read Marlene's letter.

_Papa Cloud!_

_It was nice to read your letter. Everything has been well. School is fun and Papa Sephy has been great. Thanks for writing. _

_Denzel is more nicer than ever. I don't know why. He just is. And it is very nice. _

_Love__,_

_Marlene_

She was so cute. Even when she was writing. She had also given me a school picture of herself with the letter. It was so pretty that I felt a terrible pain sweep across my thoughts. I wanted to hug her so badly. Then I opened the letter from Rufus.

_Cloud__,_

_It has been nice to hear from you. I recommended you to Lieutenant General recently. And of course to a soldier 1st class. I miss you brother and our talks in the garden, in the moonlight. I miss our games of chess or when we were reading in the library, with no worries. I miss the __feeling of you laying on my lap __and the feeling of your hair. I miss the contact. Please find me when you come in Midgar. I hope we can at least do some of our favorite things. I at least hope that is the way. Come home safely my brother and uninjured if possible._

_Rufus_

There was no surprise in here. It was the basic as always. People did miss me, which in my opinion was odd. I was in a middle of folding the letters and taking them into further time when a shout of alarm was heard. Immediately I started shouting orders and taking the enemy down. They wanted me down. They had learned that I somehow always knew their attacks beforehand. This was something the planet didn't tell me. If it didn't endangered my existence or the planets she would not inform me. That practically sucked.

I was wounded lightly when the battle was over but not too bad so that I didn't go and find a medic. It wasn't worth it. I needed to save the healing materia and the potions and all to the badly wounded. One slash on my ribs was nothing that my SOLDIER body couldn't heal. It could heal almost anything. I tried almost anything. But every time it healed me. It was a success some would say, but no- It was more a nuisance than a good thing.

I got into my tent and decided I should try to sleep. I was already swaying on my feet from the lack of sleep. Almost two weeks without sleep wasn't much but combined with battling and being in war and hearing planet and Cetra all the time it was very tiring. I slumped to my bedroll and rolled to sleep. Too tired to finger myself with my imagined Sephiroth.

xxx

I woke up to Guragan calling me above of me.

"Sir!" Before I actually even understood my actions I had my dagger out of my sleeve. I hold the attack back by force as I recognized Guragan's voice.

"Yes, what is it?" I asked from him as I hided the dagger back to my sleeve. I glazed the clock. I had slept twenty minutes top. It was hard to get going again. _I hope that everything is okay at home. I should tell Sephiroth about Rufus being my brother and everything. _

"It is about the attack. The Wuatians are attacking to the far most northern reactor." Guragan explained to me. I was just about to get up when the Cetra flared and I took hold of my head and dropped right back to where I had been. The green knifes that hit to my focus and min where as bad as ever. It dropped me all the time when it happened. I didn't know why it caused me so much pain. I hoped that it would get better after a while.

The pain stopped slowly and it was getting better all the time. My hands slowly left my head and I saw Guragans worried face above me.

"Sir are you alright?" He asked from me as he made a full check to my body. He noticed few slashes, wounds and bruises. He immediately started wrapping them up so that I could still move normally although I needed to be far more careful. I was the Lieutenant General SOLDIER fucking first Class now. It came with a huge responsibility. Reno and Marie had taken care of my paperwork. Marie making notes to them and Reno doing my signature. He was very good at that.

I lifted my self from the ground and took hold of the Ultima weapon. My hand ached in painful recognition as I never even had left the sword drop from my hand. Guragan gav e me a black box. In there was a four stars and a silver bar. My new insignia. _Does this ever end._

The Wutaians are not at the reactor. That is just an illusion. They are here in couple of minutes. They are making a risky move against us. Let's get prepared. Tell the cavalry to get ready, groups 4 and 7 to go to the west side of the camp and the groups 1 and5 to the east. I will hold the front." I said.

"Yes sir!" He said and left from my tent. It was the command tent to be exact and I was the highest ranked officer in here. My back ached to the thought of keeping the front of the camp by my self, but I knew that I could do it. I simply had to. There wasn't any other option. At our last battle the casualties had been 40%. That was low. The other camps in Wutai had the casualties much higher and that was because of the lack of SOLDIERS. I had gotten a memo saying that Kunsel was coming here with Miquel. Miquel was to take care of the medical department in here. The mako had run out nearly a week ago. I never thought about thanking Hojo about the few spare bottles I had had with me. The few SOLDIERs who I had with me had almost gone to withdrawal and I was lucky that I could save their lives from insanity and pain. They were now loyal to me. And to me only. Sephiroth was the ultimate second in the chain of loyalty. Everyone who had fight in the war in Wutai were completely loyal to me. Back in Shin-Ra the situation would be different. _Only a week left. Then I can have a vacation. _I thought before taking off to the front.

Xxx

**Sephiroths PoV After the week**

I was in the hangar. Waiting for Cloud to come off from the plane. I had heard he had now the rank of Second General. Last week he had been a Lieutenant General. He had effectively Genesis's rank out of his hands. Genesis now was only responsible of being there. He had thought about taking off from Shin-Ra. His twenty years in service had been over at least four years ago. He had stayed because he didn't knew anything else. Now he was thinking about getting back to Gongaga to live with his family or to go back in Nibelheim to live with Myra.

I saw Kunsel and Guragan support someone who I knew would be ready to collapse. That almost too tired looking figure was Cloud, I suddenly figured. He lifted his head and yanked his arms free and almost dropped from the supporting his own weight only. Guragan was looking at him with a worried expression. I saw that he didn't care much. It was his way to tell that he was okay. They continue to move on. To the conference room which had been scheduled to give report about the war to the president, Scarlet, Heidegger and me. I didn't know if Hojo was there also.

Xxx

We were all just sitting. Waiting for Cloud to come. Zack was there as my second in command, Genesis and Angeal were present also, the president obviously was here as well. Then again, Scarlet, Heidegger and Hojo were also present. But the most surprising figure in here was Rufus. I didn't knew why he was here.

Cloud staggered inside. He was clearly very tired, but it wasn't evident to anyone than me. He looked like death otherwise. He sat down to my opposite and left the Ultima weapon behind his chair. He gestured to Guragan who had came inside the same time as he had.

Guragan took a pile of documents and slide them under Clouds hand. It was clearly amusing and the same time very disturbing to see the work between superior and servant. I didn't know how he read Cloud but the blond had everything on hand if he needed.

"We need better weapons to the front. Something usable this time. The weapons melt too easily." Cloud said and tossed a half melted handgun to Scarlet who took it and inspected it with sharp eyes.

"How fast were you shooting with this thing?" Scarlet asked.

"As fast as it would shoot. Wutaians have some nasty acid kind of substance that melts the guns easily. Also the heat is something what the guns can't simply handle. If you want to win this war I hope you give me guns that work." Cloud said. After that he took a vial of green substance and tossed it to Scarlet.

"That is the acid. They also use it to poison our water and to poison us with darts." Cloud said and rolled his sleeve to reveal nasty looking black dots all around his arm. Cloud wasn't a normal SOLDIER and even he looked like death. I thought that he must be seriously ill.

"I am going to take a vacation. I am going to Nibelheim. If you have anything else to notify me with send the papers to Guragan or to my secretary. I would like to rest so that I can be ready for tomorrows trip. Guragan will tell you everything else." Cloud said, took ultima weapon and left. We all except Guragan looked like someone had slapped us with a dead fish.

The meeting continues without further shocks.

Xxx

When I got home I instantly went looking for Cloud. I knew he had want to come here and see Marlene and me. He was on our bed, all of his clothes on and sleeping. I remembered Cloud being a very heavy sleeper. I didn't think Wutai could change it much. I moved towards him and I was about to touch him when he suddenly slashed me with a dagger which had somehow gotten to his hand. _It was likely hidden on his sleeve_

I staggered backwards and Cloud looked ashamed.

"It's okay Cloud. I just didn't know that Wutai would suddenly change your sleeping habits that much, That's all. " I said reassuringly.

"It's just. I'm always alert now a days. I learned it with the hard way. Please next time say something before you touch me or anything." He said slowly and took his shirt off to show me a scar on his throat.

"My throat was almost slashed. If Guragan would not have been there with Reno I would now be dead. " He said coldly.

"Are you alright, my love?" I asked from him. I knew that he would answer something on the lines `I'm fine' It was his immediate response to someone asking about his condition. He was so stubborn sometimes.

"I'm quite okay." He said before getting up from the bed and wincing a little when the pain somewhere on his body made itself known.

"You should see a doctor." I said. I knew he was afraid of them. And the labs of course. There would be no way to him to let anyone examine him until it was too late.

"This is nothing. " He said.

"Yes it is. It clearly is. If you are not going by yourself which I know you are not, then I am going to take you. Whether you want it or not." I said.

"Please Sephiroth, don't take me there." he pleaded. I knew that it would hurt him to take him there, but if I didn't the wounds didn't heal properly and that would be a huge crack to his stamina. The healing would take all his power and make him practically useless.

I swiftly sent a message to Genesis, Zack, Angeal and Vincent. I thought that it was maybe too much for them to all be there but it never hurt to be ready for everything. In few minutes they were all in our bedroom. Cloud was still leaning to the bed. Clearly in much pain.

"Cloud, I am going to take you to the doctor right now. We will go there now! This is an order SOLDIER!" I roared to him. Angeal and Zack were by the door. Waiting Cloud to make an attempt to escape and Vincent and Genesis were slowly coming nearer and nearer to him.

"Fine" he said again with that emotionless tone of voice. He rose from his slumped position, took Ultima Weapon and marched out of the door. Vincent was not coming with us. He stayed at the apartment. Zack and Angeal took the front and me and Genesis the back, we escorted him to the infirmary.

We did not need to wait for a doctor to arrive. Rufus had sent a doctor to give Cloud full medical scan as fast as he would come to the infirmary. We were lucky that we somehow had Rufus in our side. We went to the examination room. This time only me and Cloud though. Genesis and Angeal were left to guard the door and Zack to keep and eye out for any other danger in the facility.

The doctor examined Cloud briefly, but well. He took blood pressure, blood test, reflexes, pulse. All the basic. The sum of his injuries was fairly in limits of functioning. The doctor was surprised that he was even on his feet. The doctor gave him a bottle of medicines, dressed and cleaned his wounds and said that he needed time for recovery. It was essential if he ever wanted to be in Shin-Ra again. When we left I thanked the doctor, Cloud didn't, then we were off. To Nibelheim.

Xxx

**Clouds PoV**

The plane was a private. Before we left I saw Rufus and we exchanged a quick briefings of what had happened when we hadn't had the time to get around our busy lives. Genesis, Zack and Angeal were going to Barona. To see Angeal's and Genesis's family. Reno, Marie, Sephiroth and Marlene were coming with me to Nibelheim. Before we parted ways I got a new earring from Zack. This had a Shin-Ra logo on it. I placed it on to my left ear. I never had this many piercings before.

I went to the planes bathroom to see myself on a mirror. I haven't got a look of myself in ages. Or so it felt. When I saw myself I didn't recognize the slim, but still very adult and SOLDIER like body. I didn't look like myself at all. But the unnerving shock came throw closer observation about my face. It had lost all it's roundness. Before it had sort of girlish and child like look, but not anymore. My eyes were also much greener than before. Not as green as Sephiroth's, but the mako was very evident in my eyes. Also my pupils were slitted the same kind of fashion as Sephiroth's. I wondered why. I didn't got any answer to my musings.

We arrived in Nibelheim and immediately went to the town inn to reserve us rooms. I knew that my mother would be happy to offer me a temporary home, but I didn't want to make her suffer too much because of me. I was a SOLDIER now. As we walked throw the village the towns people recognized Sephiroth but they didn't recognize me. It was a so new to me. I couldn't cope with it very well. As we reached the inn I immediately recognized Tifa behind the counter.

"Hello sirs, how may I help you?" She asked from us.

"There should be reservation of three rooms. With names Valentine, Sinclair and." I didn't make my sentence in to finish before she said it.

"Strife?. Cloud is that. Is that you?" She asked again. Her face was full of confusion, as like she didn't believe that I was even alive anymore.

"Yeah. It's me. Remember when I told you that I am going to become a SOLDIER? Well now I am a one. I have been in Wutai, fighting in the war. I have a family. A family that accepts me and comrades that are loyal to me. I have a brother and I have found my father. I have a daughter and a loving Husband. I have everything that this village has tried to make me forget." I said her, my voice full of revenge.

"Bu--but." She couldn't even say a thing. I wasn't amazed by this. It was perfectly normal. Normal for fools like her to do. It felt good to be here. They would have to accept me now. They needed to.

"Miss. Can you give us the keys to our rooms?" Marie asked.

"Oh. yes. Have a nice day." She said still full of wonder. Marie took the keys handed to her and we walked upstairs to find our rooms.

"Marie. I got you your own room, Reno you too have your own, me, Sephiroth and Marlene are going to sleep together. After we have settled down I would like you all to see my mother." I said to all of them.

"Yes, sir!" Marie said.

"What ever, yo." Reno said as being bored to death. I knew him better. This was a very good chance for him gather a bunch of information about me.

"Yes my love. We would be honored." Sephiroth said. He needed to keep the cold mask over him all the time. I heard Tifa talking to someone downstairs.

"_Cloud is back. He is a SOLDIER. He also talked about being in war and that he had a family. __He has a HUSBAND! And a child. I wonder if the redhead is his husband. I doubt it__.__" _

"_His just as useless as before. He's the outcast. We don't want him here." Someone said._

"_Yeah but still. If I read his rank correctly his a Lieutenant General! That's the second highest rank!"_

"_No one can be a SOLDIER in one year and especially not a lieutenant General. That's impossible!"_

"_Yeah I know but still! And even General Sephiroth was here with him!"_

"_The General was here?" _

"_Yeah and a little girl and the redhead and some woman."_

"_Well__.__ We'll see." _

"Do not mind about them. They will accept you. Whether they want to or not." Sephiroth said to me. We were at our rooms. They were pretty nice. Two bedrooms, a living room furnished nicely and a good size kitchenette. They were quite nice. Of course there was a bathroom too but that was nothing fancy. A basic shower, toilet and a sink. So basic that it was nearly unexpected. I had gotten used to our nice lifestyle back in Midgar. Of course in war the situation was different, but even there it was _different. _In there you had nothing. In Midgar you had everything. But in here you had something which wasn't your own and was something between. It was nice but not something which I was used to. There was something in here that really bothered me.

We went throw our packs and everything was okay. It was time to see my mother. Me and Sephiroth had our own uniforms. They were clean and nice. They had the calming presence of familiar atmosphere. They felt like they had been there for ever.

We knocked at Reno's and Marie's doors. Reno was wearing his basic Turk suit as was Marie, although Reno still had it all messed up as Marie was looking simple but professional. We were happy that in our little `family' - If you can call it that – There was even someone who would look good, no matter what happened.

We slowly took a walk in the village. I gave some money to Marlene who immediately went to by some white flowers that had blue tips on their leafs. They were very beautiful. They were going to be a gift from Marlene to Myra. I was happy for once. Until the villages Major, Mr. Lockheart was standing right in front of me with a scowl on his face.

"What is your business here SOLDIERs?" He asked from us. I knew that Tifa had told him about us in the village inn. I was sure of it.

"You do not recognize me, Major?" I said with a hint of amusement on my face.

"No I don't. Sephiroth I _know, _but who are the rest of you. We don't want any problems with Shin-Ra and SOLDIER." He said to us as being serious. I knew he just wanted to play an all-altering force.

"You really don't recognize me? Where the hell have you been you old man? I am Cloud Strife. The boy you so tormented a year ago. And look at me now. I am a Lieutenant General, SOLDIER 1st class and further more. I have a family and friends to keep me company. Sephiroth here is my husband and the little girl is our daughter. Those two in the blue suits are Turks. Reno and Marie. Marie is my secretary." I said. I knew that would only cause him to hate me even more than before. I have succeeded, it was a miracle I thought as I was sure the similar thoughts ran throw his head also. There wasn't anything wrong for me to poses a family but the SOLDIER thing clearly worried him. He knew as well as I that we all outranked him fair and square. There was nothing more that could make him hate me as much.

"I don't believe you! Well it does not matter what I think of you and what I don't. You still never be recognized in this village. Never!" Lockheart said and angrily marched towards the school. I just thanked myself about this little encounter. It was necessary, so that I could know what the village wanted. What they thought about me. We continued our little trip to the other side of the village, where my mothers house and my former home stood high. I knocked on the door and Myra came and opened it. Her expression went first to amazement then to recognition and finally to a full blooming smile.

**A/N: Hellou all! So here's chapter 9 to you. Sorry that this is not so long as the other chapters. Chapter 8 just squeezed all my writing supplies in it. Thanks again to my lovely beta: Original-Botticella for the wonderful for she has done. Remember to R&R.**


	11. Chapter 10 OLD

**A/N: Hellou all of you. My Naruto story is progressing nicely. Sorry if this is late thought. I have been on computer far too much if my hand is any indicator. Yeah I spend 18 h per day in front of my laptop. So my right hand is nearly immobilized – Which of course if not a good thing. Well let's hope that it will heal. I solely blame all the fantastic writers in for writing so much and so good stories that I HAVE to read them, which makes me use too much my mouse and all. My hand has never got hurt this way though – Not even when I was playing CS 24/7****.**** Well anyway****.**** On with the story. I thank my Lovely and skilled beta: Original-Botticella.**

**10. After The Cloud's Sale Through Certain Point Of View.**

"I don't believe you! Well it does not matter what I think of you and what I don't. You still never be recognized in this village. Never!" Lockheart said and angrily marched towards the school. I just thanked myself about this litbloomtle encounter. It was necessary, so that I could know what the village wanted. What they thought about me. We continued our little trip to the other side of the village, where my mothers house and my former home stood high. I knocked on the door and Myra came and opened it. Her expression went first to amazement then to recognition and finally to a full blooming smile.

"My Angel you are home" Myra said and gestured us all inside of her house. We went into the living room and sat on the sofas. Marlene was happily at Sephiroth's lap. I got the picture that it was Marlene's favorite spot.

Myra came with a pot of tea with her and started serving us silently. Marlene and the rest said polite thanks. We started drinking in silence.

"Well, care to introduce your friends?" Myra said to us. Guragan and I had fallen into field mode automatically at some point of everything. Guragan first stood up. I cleared my throat.

"This is Lieutenant General Guragan, my second in command and he is also a medic. And SOLDIER 3rd class for that matter." I explained. Guragan started pointing at people as I got through with the introduce.

"This is Reno Sinclair a Turk trainee and my third in command at the time. He is also my personal bodyguard as well as Marlene's.

"Then next is my secretary as well as my second third in command and Senior Turk Marie. She is also my bodyguard. She is taking care of my paperwork and is protecting Marlene as well.

"Then the next is THE General Sephiroth Valentine, my husband and Marlene's father. We live together and have a healthy life.

"As for the little miss. She is Marlene Valentine, Our daughter.

"As for myself, I am one of the three Generals under Sephiroth. I am holding Wutai section, Angeal is working on Midgar and other city areas and Genesis is taking care of the Icicle area. Zack and Sephiroth are taking care of the rest." I said.

"Wow. You have some powerful friends there as well as a good family. How did you enrolled in the army so quickly?" Myra asked. That just spawned a very thick silence. Myra just watched us curiously. I didn't want to say anything. I prayed that someone would save me from answering. I was happy when Reno caught my signal of discomfort and answered.

"It is because he is very skilled. Although I am sure you are wondering his changed face and body as well. That comes because of mako and training. And he enrolled in the army as he fought in Shin-Ra and Sephiroth and Rufus Shin-Ra thought that it would be a good idea to give him a promotion. Somehow the promotions just piled and now here he is. After three months in Wutai and he is a general of that specific area."

"Oh. Well... if that is the case." Myra said. We talked a bit about other things as well until it was time for us to leave. We went back to the town tavern. Tifa was again there. We decided to have some lunch. I was still very sick and tired from the traveling and the war. My wounds would not heal fast, despite the mako that I had on my body.

Gaia wasn't angry at me, because of Wutai. I was her warrior, but at the same time I was her son and because of that she felt a little bit of affection towards me. I was thinking how everything was going on in Shin-Ra. All the Generals were on paid leave and because that I just knew that the paperwork was piled on our tables. I groaned at the thought.

"Is everything okay Cloud?" Marie asked as we were sitting on our table waiting Tifa to gather our orders.

"Yes. Everything is fine. I just remembered that the paperwork is piling very nicely at the Shin-Ra. The thought made me groan." I said. Everyone just laughed at that, except Marlene.

"Papa-Cloud. What is paperwork?" She asked. I groaned again and relaxed my back and my head hit the table. Hard.

"Marlene. Paperwork is the only thing you have to fear in life. It's the strongest enemy of one's being. It's something so terrifying that even I fear it. It's actually my only fear, well not only.. My greatest fear is actually a haircut." Sephiroth started to explain.

"Yes. That's the truth, yo" Reno said suddenly.

"Why is that uncle Ren'?" Marlene asked again. Marlene had her own nicknames to everyone of us. I was Papa-Cloud or sometimes just Clo, Sephiroth was papa-Sephy or Sephy, Reno was always Ren, and Marie was called Mar or then sometimes Gun-lady. It varies. We just somehow knew who was what.

"It is because. Paperwork is extreme _evil_! Hojo looks like a baby and he's the real evil if compared to paperwork. It piles to our desks and then when we get some of it done and go to get a cup of coffee. It makes little stacks of paperwork. It actually _breeds_!" I said.

"The only person that has defeated the EVIL Paperwork, is Cloud. But then again he didn't do it alone. He used help so it doesn't count. Then again, Sephiroth would defeat paperwork if only he wouldn't be scared of it. That is because. Well sometime back before Cloud was there to help him his desk. Well it was consumed by it. So he started doing it. In a very fast phase. But in the end, every time he filled one sheet three others would come and replace it. Also. The paperwork has personalities, They smirk and show you their tongues. And the worst yet. Well, Sephiroth tried to kill them, by using fire. And they attacked. So that's pretty much everything." Marie explained.

"But paperwork is an object. It is not living thing. So it can't smirk and it can't have a tongue." Marlene said. They was horrified expressions all around the table.

"If you are not believing us then we will show you the paperwork." Sephiroth said.

"Oh. You mean the paperwork that is upstairs in our room, Papa-Sephy?"

"_What paperwork upstairs_!?" Were the panicked shouts that rang all around of the table.

"Those that are upstairs. They are in the table." Marlene said as it would be perfectly normal. I started to cry. Sephiroth took a hold of me and I cried to his leather jacket.

"My darling. Let's get upstairs. Okay. Reno and Marie, protect Marlene from the paperwork, we are going to use attack formation 34B." He said. Sephiroth released me and we took hold of our swords. Reno and Marie placed Marlene on the middle of them and they had their handguns and Reno had his EMR on his hand. We slowly went upstairs.

We were by our door. I kicked the door in and Sephiroth went in.

"Clear!" Was shouted from the living room. We went in. There was a working room in our fucking motel room. SHIT. We silently crept in. There the EVIL paperwork was. Sitting on TWO different desks. Also there were some boxes that took the space from the room.

"What's in the boxes, yo?" Reno asked.

"Let's open up one and see." Sephiroth said and swiftly used Masasume to slice one wall of from the box. Paperwork filled the floor.

"Stand back!" I shouted. Marlene looked at the paperwork. IT WAWED!!!!

xxx

**A/N: I wanted some humor in to this. So I made up the paperwork incident. You can call this a filler, until I get back to my original angsty style :P Ja ne****.**** Logoht.**

**PS: I am having horrible writer's block with this story****.**** That is also one reason for the filler. I am sorry about this, but I thought that better even shitty update that is short than no update at all****.**

**ALSO REMEMBER TO ANSWER TO THE POLE THAT IS IN MY PROFILE!!!**


End file.
